NYC subway bums collectible dolls
this is a nutty idea i had with a group of friends earlier last week. it borders on completely tasteless, but if you live here and see these guys day-in day-out, they've earned no space for me to care too much about their dignity. these guys do an excellent job making themselves look like asses without my silly ideas.
so, there's certain bums with a certain schtick that tend to hang around certain trains and neighborhoods all the time. you begin to learn their routine, and my friends who've been here longer than me can recite their lines word for word. i said, "we should make a line of dolls with the pull-string activated voice." then someone else added, "that'd be a hit! we'd make 'em famous. people would come to visit nyc and see their favorite bum on the subway and say, 'oh, there's Sonny Smits! he's been looking for a job since 7am but his ankle's messed up!'" the conversation went on into the realm of the ridiculous. we laughed, drank more beer, and dropped it.
the next day, sure enough as we thought of it, the first bum that my roommate and I encounter on the subway makes an entrance by beating himself over the head with a stale loaf of french bread. he was soliciting sympathy because (presumably) some sadistic asshole had given him food that he was unable to eat:
"i ask fo food, an they gave me this."
*whack*
"what the hell i gonna do wit this?"
*whack* *whack*
"I don't got bricks fo teeth!"
*whack*
"c'mon folks, gimme somethin' real. food that i can actually eat, or money."
it was really hard not to erupt in laughter due to the fact that we're both envisioning what a toy version of this guy would be like. pretty entertaining. enough so that i don't doubt that people would buy it.
heck, i know i'd like to have a little toy bum with a wind-up mechanical arm that beats himself over the head with a loaf of stale bread over and over again saying, "what the hell i gonna do wit this? what the hell i gonna do wit this?..."
so, there's certain bums with a certain schtick that tend to hang around certain trains and neighborhoods all the time. you begin to learn their routine, and my friends who've been here longer than me can recite their lines word for word. i said, "we should make a line of dolls with the pull-string activated voice." then someone else added, "that'd be a hit! we'd make 'em famous. people would come to visit nyc and see their favorite bum on the subway and say, 'oh, there's Sonny Smits! he's been looking for a job since 7am but his ankle's messed up!'" the conversation went on into the realm of the ridiculous. we laughed, drank more beer, and dropped it.
the next day, sure enough as we thought of it, the first bum that my roommate and I encounter on the subway makes an entrance by beating himself over the head with a stale loaf of french bread. he was soliciting sympathy because (presumably) some sadistic asshole had given him food that he was unable to eat:
"i ask fo food, an they gave me this."
*whack*
"what the hell i gonna do wit this?"
*whack* *whack*
"I don't got bricks fo teeth!"
*whack*
"c'mon folks, gimme somethin' real. food that i can actually eat, or money."
it was really hard not to erupt in laughter due to the fact that we're both envisioning what a toy version of this guy would be like. pretty entertaining. enough so that i don't doubt that people would buy it.
heck, i know i'd like to have a little toy bum with a wind-up mechanical arm that beats himself over the head with a loaf of stale bread over and over again saying, "what the hell i gonna do wit this? what the hell i gonna do wit this?..."