im ready to go home again
yeah, its just one of those days, I fell asleep crying last night for no reason. I was thinking of chris, and the night he stayed at my house for his party... IDK, random, and I just started thinking of the times I stayed with him and then he left for the army, all at once I just was emotional.
This semester is going to take a toll on me, but my classes are getting better which is a miracle. I have tuesdays and thursdays off, 6 hours of classes monday and wednesday, and 1 6 hour CLASS on friday. Not to bad really, but it gets pretty annoying so to speak.Next semester, no friday classes, though who knows where Chris will be, but it would be nice to have a 3 day weekend so I can go see him if he is in the states. It is really hard having a boyfriend that I can not see everyday yet. Or at least see him on the weekends all the time. I get to talk to him more now then when he was in Basic, but IDK, During the week not so much, so I have to email him, and I had emailed him so much this week, just by chance he will get it on the weekend, if he gets over to the library to check it. I plan on seeing him at least once a month, starting in March. Once a month is better then once in 3-4 months. If I could go to see him in February, that would be great, but I can't, because of the weather being an iffy drive, and I really can not miss classes just to go see him. Plus, he said he has a 4 day pass but can't stay off base with me, so it would be pointless to go down there if I can't stay with him. He wouldn't want that. I am here to get a good education, and to get Dean's list again. I am here to graduate in December of 2006 and then finally be able to be with my man, and have a full time job. Its a difficult road ahead, but eventually it will get better, slowly but it will. My relationship is still going, and moving strong, and because of the love we have and the feelings, we are able to keep motivated to push forward. You have no idea how long I have waited/tried to have a relationship where it looks for a prominent future. Its great, though saying it I probably just jinxed myself, because somewhere out there, there are people who may or may not read this, that I may know, and may not, that are jealous of what I have, and want what I got and will do anything to ruin it for me. I won't let that happen.
I really don't know where that last line came from. I have to learn not to write when I am girly sick, and my emotions are all over the place. All I know is my first week back I was stressed out, with more suitemate issues, as well as class issues, and not getting to talk to Chris all week until the weekend didn't help any, but everytime I talk to him, I feel better and push forward and realize that this is what I strive for, the future, for me and chris, and Alex when he is around. I want to graduate, and get an entry level job, and succeed and get a higher paying job, and be able to live with chris, and Alex during the summer, or on the weekends he is with us. And just live and be happy. Oh, and I will have a puppy if my life depends on it!
OK, time to head back for my last 3 hours of class until friday's 6 hour. Come back here for more reading, more drawing, more chatting online with people, since the ones in my suite don't have the time of day for me unless they need/want something. I just have to keep telling myself "I am here for class, which I will treat like a job. If I make friends... bonus, in not... fuck them!" I have much better friends back home, and my boyfriend, even though we have a relationship, a romantic/phiscal one, we are like best friends in the same instance. To that I bid you all adoo (yeah I know thats not how you spell it but I don't care). take care everyone. To my crew back home, I will probably see you guys Feb. 11th-13th weekend when I am home.
This semester is going to take a toll on me, but my classes are getting better which is a miracle. I have tuesdays and thursdays off, 6 hours of classes monday and wednesday, and 1 6 hour CLASS on friday. Not to bad really, but it gets pretty annoying so to speak.Next semester, no friday classes, though who knows where Chris will be, but it would be nice to have a 3 day weekend so I can go see him if he is in the states. It is really hard having a boyfriend that I can not see everyday yet. Or at least see him on the weekends all the time. I get to talk to him more now then when he was in Basic, but IDK, During the week not so much, so I have to email him, and I had emailed him so much this week, just by chance he will get it on the weekend, if he gets over to the library to check it. I plan on seeing him at least once a month, starting in March. Once a month is better then once in 3-4 months. If I could go to see him in February, that would be great, but I can't, because of the weather being an iffy drive, and I really can not miss classes just to go see him. Plus, he said he has a 4 day pass but can't stay off base with me, so it would be pointless to go down there if I can't stay with him. He wouldn't want that. I am here to get a good education, and to get Dean's list again. I am here to graduate in December of 2006 and then finally be able to be with my man, and have a full time job. Its a difficult road ahead, but eventually it will get better, slowly but it will. My relationship is still going, and moving strong, and because of the love we have and the feelings, we are able to keep motivated to push forward. You have no idea how long I have waited/tried to have a relationship where it looks for a prominent future. Its great, though saying it I probably just jinxed myself, because somewhere out there, there are people who may or may not read this, that I may know, and may not, that are jealous of what I have, and want what I got and will do anything to ruin it for me. I won't let that happen.
I really don't know where that last line came from. I have to learn not to write when I am girly sick, and my emotions are all over the place. All I know is my first week back I was stressed out, with more suitemate issues, as well as class issues, and not getting to talk to Chris all week until the weekend didn't help any, but everytime I talk to him, I feel better and push forward and realize that this is what I strive for, the future, for me and chris, and Alex when he is around. I want to graduate, and get an entry level job, and succeed and get a higher paying job, and be able to live with chris, and Alex during the summer, or on the weekends he is with us. And just live and be happy. Oh, and I will have a puppy if my life depends on it!
OK, time to head back for my last 3 hours of class until friday's 6 hour. Come back here for more reading, more drawing, more chatting online with people, since the ones in my suite don't have the time of day for me unless they need/want something. I just have to keep telling myself "I am here for class, which I will treat like a job. If I make friends... bonus, in not... fuck them!" I have much better friends back home, and my boyfriend, even though we have a relationship, a romantic/phiscal one, we are like best friends in the same instance. To that I bid you all adoo (yeah I know thats not how you spell it but I don't care). take care everyone. To my crew back home, I will probably see you guys Feb. 11th-13th weekend when I am home.