feeling christmas...
Someone once said that Christmas is all in the heart. Well i certainly had no heart for it. My year has been confusing, depressing and just plain overwhelming. I saw all these people running around having a great time and i just didnt even want it to be christmas. People kept talking about needing snow, a bigger tree, better presents, giving time and things to others, being home, or being away from home in order to feel like its christmas but the song from The Grinch just kept running through my head. "Where are you Christmas...how do i find you? Why have you gone away?" The thing that i think i found out is that Christmas really is in your heart, but your heart has to be in the right place. If it is self seeking instead of self sacrificing you will never 'find christmas.' I almost missed it. I was so wrapped up and my feeling like it was Christmas I forgot to really give of my heart to the things that we were doing for other people. Love. THat is the answer to christmas. "if you have not love you are only a resounding gong" I didnt have a lot of space for love in a heart full of self pity and anger.
Of course, its not gone completely, that 'bad feeling' still comes back on occassion. I still feel distant from God, from His love, but at least I know I am on my way back and I really did "find Christmas' at least on Christmas day!
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Of course, its not gone completely, that 'bad feeling' still comes back on occassion. I still feel distant from God, from His love, but at least I know I am on my way back and I really did "find Christmas' at least on Christmas day!
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