Outrage!

Jun 12, 2002 18:00

As memory serves me, 'twas the good King Elessar who released me from the maze of bewilderment. As my tears fell into Aragorn's hands, I sought his forgiveness for my behaviour ( Read more... )

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My glorious Prince... aragorn_elessar June 12 2002, 19:48:08 UTC
King Elessar (along with a handsome mate) discovered me in my confusion. Ever gracious they were to inform me of my dreadful behavior-as we indulged in sadistic, sexual conduct, involving the many curious gadgets discovered in my current bed chamber.

Never think of it hot and sexy glorious and most excellent Elf Prince. My friend and I were pleased to shag you blue be of assistance to your glorious self.

Until suddenly, I looked about-surrounded by pools of wailing, grotesquely dirty and despicable children?!
Babes! Terrible, burensome, wrinkle-inducing pests! This menace plagues the land!

The entire LAND is overrun with these pests from the Crack of Doom! We have become, overnight seemingly, the Middle Earth Day Care Center! The king can't get anything done because his vassels and minions are too busy playing 'hide and go fuck yourself' and whining about their mommies.

For the sake of my excellence, I must flee from this playpen of vanity hunters!

I am deeply distressed that your Highness has been disturbed by these Munchkins from hell. Please come to me in the palace tonight and I swear by Eru that your tears shall be dried and you beautious self shall know the true meaning of the words 'Took a Royal Screwing'.

We shall snuggle together and eat tomatoes and I shall brush your hair with a golden brush. And hopefully won't get them confused.

I shall await you!

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Re: My glorious Prince... legolasgreenlef June 19 2002, 10:56:41 UTC
Charitable King, I offer my appreciation. Vegetable feasting and coif primping would indeed a smile bring.

My best I shall do to escape this fortress, and venture to thy quarters whilst avoiding the treacherous babes. Should I arrive before thy grace still in tact, my appreciation shall be grandly "expressed", most certainly.

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Sweet Legolas.... aragorn_elessar June 19 2002, 11:05:01 UTC
Charitable King, I offer my appreciation. Vegetable feasting and coif primping would indeed a smile bring.

Dearest Prince of Mirkwood... your smile is worth more than all the veggies in Samwise's garden.

My best I shall do to escape this fortress, and venture to thy quarters whilst avoiding the treacherous babes. Should I arrive before thy grace still in tact, my appreciation shall be grandly "expressed", most certainly.

Hold!, dearest Prince. And I shall send an Eagle friend to whisk you away safely and here to the palace. Your safety is dear to me. Here you can rest and have peaceful intercourse.. uh.. I mean conversation.

*smiles in a kingly manner*

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