Le sigh of relief
So Friday was not as gruesome as it could've been. We talked as soon as I came into work, and things are ok now. Of course it was painfully awkward around them all day, but she let me off early, so the uncomfiness didn't last long. We also had a new girl start, Jess, and she seems pretty stinkin cool. She transferred from LSU to UNA to take care of her grandparents, so I'm the only person she's met her age here. We went to see the third pirates movie and hung out at Rivertown like all of the other cool emo/indie/scene kids. The movie was baffling but enjoyable, and I think Jess and I might become pretty good friends.
Today was my first makeup-free day in a long time. Very sad, I know, but it's become one of my crutches. I've always felt so exposed without all that junk on my face, and I'm tired of it. My skin's been in full-on open rebellion for a while now, and it's kind of pointless trying to hide it. And maybe my face is just tired of all of the toxic waste I pile onto it everyday. Sorry, face. I feel pretty shallow devoting a whole paragraph to my makeup woes, but I wrote all of this to say that I started to feel ok about how I looked without painting on my face. I don't know who I've been trying to impress...ok, I know exactly who I've been trying to impress, and there's my problem right there. It's time to start just being grateful that I even have a face to have acne on. A guy who's really interested in me is not gonna like me for my looks anyway, so it shouldn't be such a big deal.
And speaking of guys....well there's really nothing to speak of. I feel pretty good about where I'm at right now. (It does freak me out occassionally that so many people my age are engaged and getting married, but hey, if they're ready for it, then good for them.) All I do is work, and since most of the guys that come into the shop are either married or senior citizens (or both), there's really not alot of temptation there. This summer's giving me a lot of time to think about what I'm really looking for, what I really want and need. And of course it's very easy to be rational and certain of myself when there's no one asking me out, but I hope I keep this certainty up when/if someone does.
Time for some sleep. Take care!
Today was my first makeup-free day in a long time. Very sad, I know, but it's become one of my crutches. I've always felt so exposed without all that junk on my face, and I'm tired of it. My skin's been in full-on open rebellion for a while now, and it's kind of pointless trying to hide it. And maybe my face is just tired of all of the toxic waste I pile onto it everyday. Sorry, face. I feel pretty shallow devoting a whole paragraph to my makeup woes, but I wrote all of this to say that I started to feel ok about how I looked without painting on my face. I don't know who I've been trying to impress...ok, I know exactly who I've been trying to impress, and there's my problem right there. It's time to start just being grateful that I even have a face to have acne on. A guy who's really interested in me is not gonna like me for my looks anyway, so it shouldn't be such a big deal.
And speaking of guys....well there's really nothing to speak of. I feel pretty good about where I'm at right now. (It does freak me out occassionally that so many people my age are engaged and getting married, but hey, if they're ready for it, then good for them.) All I do is work, and since most of the guys that come into the shop are either married or senior citizens (or both), there's really not alot of temptation there. This summer's giving me a lot of time to think about what I'm really looking for, what I really want and need. And of course it's very easy to be rational and certain of myself when there's no one asking me out, but I hope I keep this certainty up when/if someone does.
Time for some sleep. Take care!