Til There Was You (4/7)
Title: Til There Was You
Author: legolas_is_mine
Beta: mesnica
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: None of this is true, and I'm certainly not claiming it is. I made it all up in my brain. My very own brain.
Warnings: Violence, Mentions of (sexual) child abuse and religious fundamentalism.
Authors Note: Apologies to fans of Hugo and Ian, but I needed villains. Places and organisations appearing in this fics are purely fictional and not supposed to portray any real ones.
Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3
Chapter 4
“Orli, I’m so sorry,” Sonia began, her voice cracking. She had never meant to let it come to this. When she and Hugo had met and started dating, it had seemed like fate. Elijah was desperate for a mother, and Orlando needed a father figure more than he knew, or so his mother had thought. Hugo had been so charming, and his church so nice to her, helping her with all the necessary bible study they both had needed in order to be baptised, and then when Orlando had started acting out they had all been so concerned about him, so willing to make allowances for his ungodly upbringing, at least at first.
“I never knew…” she tried again to apologise, but Orlando didn’t let her get any further.
“You never knew! How could you not know? What they did to me, how can you say that you didn’t know what they were doing? You were right there in the room when Pastor Jackson tried to ‘beat the devil’ out of me that one day,” the young man exploded at his mother, the suppressed rage of years lashing out in one moment of honesty.
“They said… they said it was for the best, that if I didn’t let them do it, you’d be lost to the Devil. I couldn’t let that happen, Orlando, you must see that!” Sonia plucked at her coat, silently begging her son for his forgiveness.
“According to Hugo, I have been lost to the Devil, Mum. Tell me then, was it worth it?” Orlando calmed himself down only with great effort, remembering that everyone outside could probably hear them through the thin walls. He was surprised that Viggo hadn’t already knocked on the door, asking him if he was okay. He appreciated the older man’s respect for his privacy.
“No. It wasn’t worth it Orli,” Sonia said softly, “But I can’t turn back time now. I thought it was for the best, but I was wrong.”
“Oh Mum, I’m sorry for yelling at you. I didn’t mean… I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
“No… you had every right to shout, love. But I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for not looking after you when you needed it the most. I may not agree with some of your decisions about your life, but I’ll always give you what support I can. Even if I haven’t been a very good mother before this.”
Orlando regarded the floor, his thumb firmly in his mouth. Viggo had said that Orlando’s thumb was more abused than he was, and that Orlando should really stop taking out his anger at the world on the poor defenceless digit. Orlando had giggled at that, hiding behind his newly grown fringe as it fell forward into his eyes.
“It’s okay, Mum. I’m okay. I have a good life here, and it’s only going to get better,” Orlando offered as a sop of comfort to his mother, who was having to adjust to life without her son.
“Well… that’s good, Orli. That’s really good. I… I have to get back now, okay? I have to do the shopping and finish the ironing. You… you be careful, okay?” Sonia knew that she wouldn’t see her son again for a few weeks; she didn’t like to visit him too often in case Hugo got the idea to follow her and try to snatch him back.
Orlando nodded, waving goodbye sadly to his mother and returning to his desk, attempting to get his mind back on the maths problem he had been working on before his mother had arrived. He wasn’t looking at it for long before he was interrupted again, this time by Viggo sticking his head around the door anxiously.
“You alright, Orli?” Viggo asked, “We couldn’t help overhearing…”
“I’m fine,” Orlando stated flatly, wiping one hand across his cheek off-handedly, refusing to admit to his grief to his mentor. Viggo pulled the door shut behind himself and came and led Orlando over to the sofa that sat on the other side of the office.
“Bullshit you are. Orli, it’s okay to cry, how many times do we have to tell you that?” Viggo asked gently. Whilst Sean couldn’t tell him the details of Orlando’s sessions with him, of course, he had mentioned to Viggo that the way the young man repressed all his emotions was downright unhealthy. Following that revelation, Viggo had spent hours coaxing tears, rages and even the occasional giggle or laugh from Orlando.
Stroking the curls off of his young friend’s face, Viggo leaned in towards him.
“What do I have to do to prove to you that you’re safe here? That it’s okay to let go sometimes now?” he asked tenderly, cupping Orlando’s chin in his hand. Orlando leaned forwards into Viggo’s embrace.
“Kiss me?” he suggested, shocking both Viggo and himself. They had come close to this on several occasions, but Viggo had always pulled back at the last moment, too frightened to press Orlando in case the younger man rejected him and ran screaming for the hills; or worse, for Pastor Peter Jackson, who would just love an excuse to close down the centre and force all the kids who spent time there into the church run youth groups which were the only alternative.
“I… Are… are you sure?” Viggo asked, pulling himself closer to Orlando. At the young man’s nod, he gently pressed their mouths together, swiping his tongue over Orlando’s tempting lips. Orli’s jaw opened slightly, just enough to allow Viggo’s tongue entry to his waiting mouth.
Orlando felt his breath hitch in his chest, and willed himself to not to have a heart attack. That would probably put Viggo off him once and for all, even though none of his other screw-ups had. Viggo pulled back a little.
“Breathe, Orli,” he admonished gently, before pulling the younger man close once more, ravishing his mouth with a second, deeper kiss. Orlando giggled breathlessly into Viggo’s mouth, surrendering himself to the older man, just for now. Orlando pulled away from Viggo, ending the kiss.
“That was…”
“Yeah, it was.” Viggo smiled at his… dare he say it, even in his head, his new lover. At least, he definitely loved Orlando, his affection for the young man had only grown over their weeks of cohabitation. “I should get you some hairbands,” he remarked with a grin as he brushed Orlando’s hair back from his face again.
Orlando blushed. He had allowed his hair to grow since leaving home, partly as a reaction against the crew cuts and short back and sides he had always been forced into previously, and partly so he had something to hide behind when Viggo was being so nice to him, in the vain hope that the other man wouldn’t know that he was blushing.
Not that this was a particularly successful tactic, but since Viggo found Orlando’s blush endearing, it really wasn’t a big problem. Their shared reverie was disturbed by the sound of a ruckus outside of the office.
“Come on, we’d better go and see what that lot is up to now. We can continue this… discussion tonight,” Viggo suggested, tugging at Orlando’s hand, pulling him to his feet and leading him into the middle of the fracas, which turned out to be a massive bean-bag fight, provoked by who knows what. Events like this were not altogether uncommon in the centre, and as long as everyone ended up smiling and there was no permanent damage to humans and furniture, Viggo was not averse to them.
Breaking up - and maybe encouraging - the bean bag fight took most of the rest of the afternoon, and when the two men returned home it was in excellent humour. On the way back, they stopped to pick up some pizza for dinner, not wanting to have to spend a lot of time cooking when they got home. They had more important things to do.
Once the pizza was finished, Orlando excused himself to take a shower. He still had glue and paint on his arms and legs, and where the paint was now dry, it was pulling uncomfortably at the fine hair. Viggo watched him walk up the stairs with a fond smile on his face. Orlando felt him watching, and was not above wiggling his arse provocatively through his thin shorts.
Viggo grinned at the attractive arse disappearing up his stairs and began to clear up the remains of the pizza box, and performing various other small chores just to kill time until Orlando had finished in his shower, Viggo was as nervous as all hell about what might happen with Orlando that night, but was doing his best to hide his nerves by keeping busy.
By the time Orlando returned down the stairs, dressed in sweat pants and a t-shirt, Viggo was reading a thick, boring looking book, slouched on the sofa, looking as casual as he could manage. Orlando giggled.
“Enjoying that, Vig?” he asked, an amused tone in his voice.
“It’s not bad actually,” Viggo answered, looking up from the page he had been attempting to read for the past fifteen minutes.
“You might like it better if you had it the right way up…” Orlando offered, his voice dissolving into a high pitched giggle as Viggo looked shame-facedly at his book, before dropping it over the back of the couch, patting the seat next to him in an attempt at suaveness.
Orlando moved forwards slowly, sitting down next to Viggo - but not too close - and leaned forward just a little, licking his lips in unconscious desire. Viggo reached out one tentative hand, pulling at Orlando’s lip with his shaking thumb. Orlando’s tongue, still extended from licking his lips, lapped gently at Viggo’s thumb, pulling it into his mouth.
“You gonna start biting my thumb, too, now?” Viggo asked gently, his voice full of wonder as he leant forward slowly to kiss the other man, pulling Orlando gently towards him until he had the young man held securely in his arms. Orlando giggled, releasing Viggo’s thumb, giving him room to latch their mouths together.
Orlando moaned in pleasure as their tongues twined together, Viggo’s hand coming up behind his head to twine his fingers through soft curls, tugging on them gently as Orlando melted in his embrace. Slowly, Viggo manoeuvred them around so that they were both lying on their sides, rubbing against each other as their teeth mashed together. Viggo’s hips were thrusting blindly and Orlando was responding in kind. Viggo’s free hand snuck down to squeeze Orlando’s tight arse, making the younger man yelp into his partner’s mouth. Suddenly, Orlando’s body stiffened, and he pulled away, almost falling from the couch as he sat up suddenly.
“You alright, Orli?” Viggo asked, worried that he had done something wrong.
“I’m fine, just fine,” Orlando replied, reddening and looking at Viggo as though he was afraid the older man would be angry with him.
“What’s the matter?” Viggo asked, careful to keep his voice calm. He had seen enough abuse in his life to know that if he raised his voice, Orlando would probably bolt from fear of reprisal.
“I just… I thought I was gonna…” Orli looked determinedly down at the floor, hoping that Viggo wouldn’t throw him out now that Orlando had refused him. “I thought I was gonna… comeinmypants,” he finished in a voice that Viggo had to strain to here.
“Oh love, that’s okay. Truth be told, I don’t think I was that far off coming in my pants,” Viggo reassured, reaching out with one hand to pet Orlando’s shoulder gently, soothing him much as he would a frightened animal.
“You were?” Orlando asked, his eyes enormous with the revelation. “And… you’re not mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad at you? You didn’t do anything wrong. I guess we were moving a little too fast, huh?”
“But… I was… it’s dirty, isn’t it?” Orlando stammered, doing his best to think of a reason for his sudden withdrawal.
“To have feelings, Orlando? That’s not dirty. Is that what they told you at home?” Viggo asked, knowing that it might take some time to overcome Orlando’s conditioning.
“… yeah. They said that if you do things… outside of the sanctity of marriage, it’s wrong. I know they’re crazy but, well, I guess some of it sticks, huh?”
“I guess so, but it’s okay, Orlando. We can take all the time you need, if it takes you years before you’re ready to… do anything physical, it won’t bother me,” Viggo said, pulling Orlando down to lean his head on Viggo’s shoulder. This, Orlando didn’t resist, enjoying the scent of Viggo’s hair, and the feel of his hand gently stroking at Orlando’s hair.
“You really mean that? You can just fuck me if you really want to, I don’t mind,” Orlando offered, his voice heavy with acquiescence. He knew that refusing wasn’t a good idea; when he had tried to say no in the past it had not been well received.
“Orlando, I don’t ever want to just fuck you. One day, I would like to make love to you, or maybe even fuck you, but I never want to just fuck you. Why would you even think that?” Viggo asked, the hurt in his voice obvious to Orlando.
“Well… that’s what guys like to do, isn’t it?” Orlando was obviously confused by Viggo’s reluctance to simply take what was offered.
“Has someone done that to you then, Orlando?” Viggo wondered, gently stroking Orlando’s shoulder, wondering who would have done that to such a gentle creature, and exactly when he had had the chance to sleep around as his comment suggested he had.
“Oh no, I just… I thought that was what guys did, you know. Just have sex and then move on?” Orlando offered, somewhat unconvincingly.
“If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to,” Viggo told him, not wanting to pressurize his young friend - and hopefully new lover - into doing something he didn’t want to do, or worse, to make him run away from Viggo.
“Well… you have to promise you won’t get mad, Viggo. I can’t tell you if you don’t promise,” Orlando said adamantly.
“Why would I get mad at you?” Viggo asked. “Whatever you’ve done, you’re still you. Alright though, if it makes you tell me, I promise”
“Not at me, at… at Mr McKellan. He’s the one who… they were supposed to be exorcising me, and it was his turn to read the bible to me. That was the first time. I was tied down, see, so that the demons couldn’t use my body to hurt anyone, and he… well, he pulled down my pyjamas. He said it was just to make me more comfortable but then he… and he said it was to help force the demons out, and well, I didn’t know any better at the time, but then I was talking to someone else at church, one of the guys, and he said that… that what Mr McKellan did, that it’s a sin. So I asked Mr McKellan, and he said that the way most people do it, when they just… just do it for physical lust, that’s a sin, but it’s not a sin to do it for an exorcism. That it’s necessary.
When I was talking to some of the kids at the centre though, they said that what he did was rape. I mean, I didn’t tell them he had done it to me, just that I had heard that it happened sometimes as part of the exorcism. Dommie said he used to do it to him as well, and sometimes he would make us… rub his penis. With our hands I mean, when we were having spiritual guidance from him, that was.”
The tears were falling freely down Orlando’s face by now, as he poured out the details of his - entirely negative thus far - sexual experiences. Viggo fought down the urge to shout.
“And you expect me not to get angry with him?” Viggo asked incredulously. “You should be telling this story to the police, or the newspapers. Anything that will get that old pervert out of the church so he can’t hurt anyone else.”
“You can’t do anything to him, Viggo. He’s one of my stupid step-father’s best friends. If we do anything to hurt him, what will he do to my mum? Or Elijah, even?” Orlando’s tear filled, frightened eyes implored Viggo to listen to him. Viggo deflated almost visibly as he took in the fear he saw in the boy’s eyes.
“Alright Orli, we’ll play it your way. I don’t want to hurt your family. But when I think of some slimy old man hurting you… it makes my blood boil.”
“It does?” Orlando asked, all wide eyed innocence again as he gazed into Viggo’s eyes, hoping to distract him from his thoughts of vengeance to Mr McKellan. Viggo allowed himself to be distracted, making a mental note to talk to Sean about Dominic’s experiences when he got the chance.
“The thought of anyone hurting you makes my blood boil, Orli,” Viggo told him, capturing his mouth in another, much gentler, kiss, wanting to rekindle the romantic spirit of the earlier part of the evening and, more importantly, let Orlando know how much he meant to Viggo, no matter what had happened to him in the past, or what decisions he made about his future.
Author: legolas_is_mine
Beta: mesnica
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: None of this is true, and I'm certainly not claiming it is. I made it all up in my brain. My very own brain.
Warnings: Violence, Mentions of (sexual) child abuse and religious fundamentalism.
Authors Note: Apologies to fans of Hugo and Ian, but I needed villains. Places and organisations appearing in this fics are purely fictional and not supposed to portray any real ones.
Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3
Chapter 4
“Orli, I’m so sorry,” Sonia began, her voice cracking. She had never meant to let it come to this. When she and Hugo had met and started dating, it had seemed like fate. Elijah was desperate for a mother, and Orlando needed a father figure more than he knew, or so his mother had thought. Hugo had been so charming, and his church so nice to her, helping her with all the necessary bible study they both had needed in order to be baptised, and then when Orlando had started acting out they had all been so concerned about him, so willing to make allowances for his ungodly upbringing, at least at first.
“I never knew…” she tried again to apologise, but Orlando didn’t let her get any further.
“You never knew! How could you not know? What they did to me, how can you say that you didn’t know what they were doing? You were right there in the room when Pastor Jackson tried to ‘beat the devil’ out of me that one day,” the young man exploded at his mother, the suppressed rage of years lashing out in one moment of honesty.
“They said… they said it was for the best, that if I didn’t let them do it, you’d be lost to the Devil. I couldn’t let that happen, Orlando, you must see that!” Sonia plucked at her coat, silently begging her son for his forgiveness.
“According to Hugo, I have been lost to the Devil, Mum. Tell me then, was it worth it?” Orlando calmed himself down only with great effort, remembering that everyone outside could probably hear them through the thin walls. He was surprised that Viggo hadn’t already knocked on the door, asking him if he was okay. He appreciated the older man’s respect for his privacy.
“No. It wasn’t worth it Orli,” Sonia said softly, “But I can’t turn back time now. I thought it was for the best, but I was wrong.”
“Oh Mum, I’m sorry for yelling at you. I didn’t mean… I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
“No… you had every right to shout, love. But I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for not looking after you when you needed it the most. I may not agree with some of your decisions about your life, but I’ll always give you what support I can. Even if I haven’t been a very good mother before this.”
Orlando regarded the floor, his thumb firmly in his mouth. Viggo had said that Orlando’s thumb was more abused than he was, and that Orlando should really stop taking out his anger at the world on the poor defenceless digit. Orlando had giggled at that, hiding behind his newly grown fringe as it fell forward into his eyes.
“It’s okay, Mum. I’m okay. I have a good life here, and it’s only going to get better,” Orlando offered as a sop of comfort to his mother, who was having to adjust to life without her son.
“Well… that’s good, Orli. That’s really good. I… I have to get back now, okay? I have to do the shopping and finish the ironing. You… you be careful, okay?” Sonia knew that she wouldn’t see her son again for a few weeks; she didn’t like to visit him too often in case Hugo got the idea to follow her and try to snatch him back.
Orlando nodded, waving goodbye sadly to his mother and returning to his desk, attempting to get his mind back on the maths problem he had been working on before his mother had arrived. He wasn’t looking at it for long before he was interrupted again, this time by Viggo sticking his head around the door anxiously.
“You alright, Orli?” Viggo asked, “We couldn’t help overhearing…”
“I’m fine,” Orlando stated flatly, wiping one hand across his cheek off-handedly, refusing to admit to his grief to his mentor. Viggo pulled the door shut behind himself and came and led Orlando over to the sofa that sat on the other side of the office.
“Bullshit you are. Orli, it’s okay to cry, how many times do we have to tell you that?” Viggo asked gently. Whilst Sean couldn’t tell him the details of Orlando’s sessions with him, of course, he had mentioned to Viggo that the way the young man repressed all his emotions was downright unhealthy. Following that revelation, Viggo had spent hours coaxing tears, rages and even the occasional giggle or laugh from Orlando.
Stroking the curls off of his young friend’s face, Viggo leaned in towards him.
“What do I have to do to prove to you that you’re safe here? That it’s okay to let go sometimes now?” he asked tenderly, cupping Orlando’s chin in his hand. Orlando leaned forwards into Viggo’s embrace.
“Kiss me?” he suggested, shocking both Viggo and himself. They had come close to this on several occasions, but Viggo had always pulled back at the last moment, too frightened to press Orlando in case the younger man rejected him and ran screaming for the hills; or worse, for Pastor Peter Jackson, who would just love an excuse to close down the centre and force all the kids who spent time there into the church run youth groups which were the only alternative.
“I… Are… are you sure?” Viggo asked, pulling himself closer to Orlando. At the young man’s nod, he gently pressed their mouths together, swiping his tongue over Orlando’s tempting lips. Orli’s jaw opened slightly, just enough to allow Viggo’s tongue entry to his waiting mouth.
Orlando felt his breath hitch in his chest, and willed himself to not to have a heart attack. That would probably put Viggo off him once and for all, even though none of his other screw-ups had. Viggo pulled back a little.
“Breathe, Orli,” he admonished gently, before pulling the younger man close once more, ravishing his mouth with a second, deeper kiss. Orlando giggled breathlessly into Viggo’s mouth, surrendering himself to the older man, just for now. Orlando pulled away from Viggo, ending the kiss.
“That was…”
“Yeah, it was.” Viggo smiled at his… dare he say it, even in his head, his new lover. At least, he definitely loved Orlando, his affection for the young man had only grown over their weeks of cohabitation. “I should get you some hairbands,” he remarked with a grin as he brushed Orlando’s hair back from his face again.
Orlando blushed. He had allowed his hair to grow since leaving home, partly as a reaction against the crew cuts and short back and sides he had always been forced into previously, and partly so he had something to hide behind when Viggo was being so nice to him, in the vain hope that the other man wouldn’t know that he was blushing.
Not that this was a particularly successful tactic, but since Viggo found Orlando’s blush endearing, it really wasn’t a big problem. Their shared reverie was disturbed by the sound of a ruckus outside of the office.
“Come on, we’d better go and see what that lot is up to now. We can continue this… discussion tonight,” Viggo suggested, tugging at Orlando’s hand, pulling him to his feet and leading him into the middle of the fracas, which turned out to be a massive bean-bag fight, provoked by who knows what. Events like this were not altogether uncommon in the centre, and as long as everyone ended up smiling and there was no permanent damage to humans and furniture, Viggo was not averse to them.
Breaking up - and maybe encouraging - the bean bag fight took most of the rest of the afternoon, and when the two men returned home it was in excellent humour. On the way back, they stopped to pick up some pizza for dinner, not wanting to have to spend a lot of time cooking when they got home. They had more important things to do.
Once the pizza was finished, Orlando excused himself to take a shower. He still had glue and paint on his arms and legs, and where the paint was now dry, it was pulling uncomfortably at the fine hair. Viggo watched him walk up the stairs with a fond smile on his face. Orlando felt him watching, and was not above wiggling his arse provocatively through his thin shorts.
Viggo grinned at the attractive arse disappearing up his stairs and began to clear up the remains of the pizza box, and performing various other small chores just to kill time until Orlando had finished in his shower, Viggo was as nervous as all hell about what might happen with Orlando that night, but was doing his best to hide his nerves by keeping busy.
By the time Orlando returned down the stairs, dressed in sweat pants and a t-shirt, Viggo was reading a thick, boring looking book, slouched on the sofa, looking as casual as he could manage. Orlando giggled.
“Enjoying that, Vig?” he asked, an amused tone in his voice.
“It’s not bad actually,” Viggo answered, looking up from the page he had been attempting to read for the past fifteen minutes.
“You might like it better if you had it the right way up…” Orlando offered, his voice dissolving into a high pitched giggle as Viggo looked shame-facedly at his book, before dropping it over the back of the couch, patting the seat next to him in an attempt at suaveness.
Orlando moved forwards slowly, sitting down next to Viggo - but not too close - and leaned forward just a little, licking his lips in unconscious desire. Viggo reached out one tentative hand, pulling at Orlando’s lip with his shaking thumb. Orlando’s tongue, still extended from licking his lips, lapped gently at Viggo’s thumb, pulling it into his mouth.
“You gonna start biting my thumb, too, now?” Viggo asked gently, his voice full of wonder as he leant forward slowly to kiss the other man, pulling Orlando gently towards him until he had the young man held securely in his arms. Orlando giggled, releasing Viggo’s thumb, giving him room to latch their mouths together.
Orlando moaned in pleasure as their tongues twined together, Viggo’s hand coming up behind his head to twine his fingers through soft curls, tugging on them gently as Orlando melted in his embrace. Slowly, Viggo manoeuvred them around so that they were both lying on their sides, rubbing against each other as their teeth mashed together. Viggo’s hips were thrusting blindly and Orlando was responding in kind. Viggo’s free hand snuck down to squeeze Orlando’s tight arse, making the younger man yelp into his partner’s mouth. Suddenly, Orlando’s body stiffened, and he pulled away, almost falling from the couch as he sat up suddenly.
“You alright, Orli?” Viggo asked, worried that he had done something wrong.
“I’m fine, just fine,” Orlando replied, reddening and looking at Viggo as though he was afraid the older man would be angry with him.
“What’s the matter?” Viggo asked, careful to keep his voice calm. He had seen enough abuse in his life to know that if he raised his voice, Orlando would probably bolt from fear of reprisal.
“I just… I thought I was gonna…” Orli looked determinedly down at the floor, hoping that Viggo wouldn’t throw him out now that Orlando had refused him. “I thought I was gonna… comeinmypants,” he finished in a voice that Viggo had to strain to here.
“Oh love, that’s okay. Truth be told, I don’t think I was that far off coming in my pants,” Viggo reassured, reaching out with one hand to pet Orlando’s shoulder gently, soothing him much as he would a frightened animal.
“You were?” Orlando asked, his eyes enormous with the revelation. “And… you’re not mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad at you? You didn’t do anything wrong. I guess we were moving a little too fast, huh?”
“But… I was… it’s dirty, isn’t it?” Orlando stammered, doing his best to think of a reason for his sudden withdrawal.
“To have feelings, Orlando? That’s not dirty. Is that what they told you at home?” Viggo asked, knowing that it might take some time to overcome Orlando’s conditioning.
“… yeah. They said that if you do things… outside of the sanctity of marriage, it’s wrong. I know they’re crazy but, well, I guess some of it sticks, huh?”
“I guess so, but it’s okay, Orlando. We can take all the time you need, if it takes you years before you’re ready to… do anything physical, it won’t bother me,” Viggo said, pulling Orlando down to lean his head on Viggo’s shoulder. This, Orlando didn’t resist, enjoying the scent of Viggo’s hair, and the feel of his hand gently stroking at Orlando’s hair.
“You really mean that? You can just fuck me if you really want to, I don’t mind,” Orlando offered, his voice heavy with acquiescence. He knew that refusing wasn’t a good idea; when he had tried to say no in the past it had not been well received.
“Orlando, I don’t ever want to just fuck you. One day, I would like to make love to you, or maybe even fuck you, but I never want to just fuck you. Why would you even think that?” Viggo asked, the hurt in his voice obvious to Orlando.
“Well… that’s what guys like to do, isn’t it?” Orlando was obviously confused by Viggo’s reluctance to simply take what was offered.
“Has someone done that to you then, Orlando?” Viggo wondered, gently stroking Orlando’s shoulder, wondering who would have done that to such a gentle creature, and exactly when he had had the chance to sleep around as his comment suggested he had.
“Oh no, I just… I thought that was what guys did, you know. Just have sex and then move on?” Orlando offered, somewhat unconvincingly.
“If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to,” Viggo told him, not wanting to pressurize his young friend - and hopefully new lover - into doing something he didn’t want to do, or worse, to make him run away from Viggo.
“Well… you have to promise you won’t get mad, Viggo. I can’t tell you if you don’t promise,” Orlando said adamantly.
“Why would I get mad at you?” Viggo asked. “Whatever you’ve done, you’re still you. Alright though, if it makes you tell me, I promise”
“Not at me, at… at Mr McKellan. He’s the one who… they were supposed to be exorcising me, and it was his turn to read the bible to me. That was the first time. I was tied down, see, so that the demons couldn’t use my body to hurt anyone, and he… well, he pulled down my pyjamas. He said it was just to make me more comfortable but then he… and he said it was to help force the demons out, and well, I didn’t know any better at the time, but then I was talking to someone else at church, one of the guys, and he said that… that what Mr McKellan did, that it’s a sin. So I asked Mr McKellan, and he said that the way most people do it, when they just… just do it for physical lust, that’s a sin, but it’s not a sin to do it for an exorcism. That it’s necessary.
When I was talking to some of the kids at the centre though, they said that what he did was rape. I mean, I didn’t tell them he had done it to me, just that I had heard that it happened sometimes as part of the exorcism. Dommie said he used to do it to him as well, and sometimes he would make us… rub his penis. With our hands I mean, when we were having spiritual guidance from him, that was.”
The tears were falling freely down Orlando’s face by now, as he poured out the details of his - entirely negative thus far - sexual experiences. Viggo fought down the urge to shout.
“And you expect me not to get angry with him?” Viggo asked incredulously. “You should be telling this story to the police, or the newspapers. Anything that will get that old pervert out of the church so he can’t hurt anyone else.”
“You can’t do anything to him, Viggo. He’s one of my stupid step-father’s best friends. If we do anything to hurt him, what will he do to my mum? Or Elijah, even?” Orlando’s tear filled, frightened eyes implored Viggo to listen to him. Viggo deflated almost visibly as he took in the fear he saw in the boy’s eyes.
“Alright Orli, we’ll play it your way. I don’t want to hurt your family. But when I think of some slimy old man hurting you… it makes my blood boil.”
“It does?” Orlando asked, all wide eyed innocence again as he gazed into Viggo’s eyes, hoping to distract him from his thoughts of vengeance to Mr McKellan. Viggo allowed himself to be distracted, making a mental note to talk to Sean about Dominic’s experiences when he got the chance.
“The thought of anyone hurting you makes my blood boil, Orli,” Viggo told him, capturing his mouth in another, much gentler, kiss, wanting to rekindle the romantic spirit of the earlier part of the evening and, more importantly, let Orlando know how much he meant to Viggo, no matter what had happened to him in the past, or what decisions he made about his future.