Distymia
For the past year or 2, my personality has definately changed. While I was always somewhat of a loner, I have been noticing myself being... nothing. Things that were once fun, while still sometimes fun, bore me very quickly. I cannot recall any activity that I enjoy. I went to a psychiatrist a few times a couple months ago and while it was just a few sessions, says that I seem to fit the categorization of distymia (Take the average person and remove the positive spectrum of emotion, thats distymia). I try to think of things that I like to do, and the only real thing I can think of is to find/exploit errors. Mostly, flawed logic is my favorite, as it requires minimal physical action on my part. I think thats why I fairly enjoy blackjack. A game solely created to take money from ploppies is now a game that can potentially be a job.
That being said, just thinking of my future is pretty interesting. Its probably laziness, although there may be other factors, but things that are considered important for my future (work, school, etc.) are always just delayed to the last minute. I just don't care. But what DO I want for the future. Thinking about it for a bit, talking with some friends, I believe that I would be perfectly satisfied if I just had a single room to rent with internet, a minifridge, and a microwave (even internet may not be necessary), which is pretty much a dorm room. And you know what? If school was taken out of the picture, I see no problem living like this for the rest of my life. Obviously this has potential for change, as my desires and likes will evolve for the "better" life and such, but at least for the moment, it looks fine. But for the sake of argument, lets say this is my life goal. How much money would I need to sustain myself? Taking away entertainment and the like, this is possible through a minimum wage job. I, however, through proven calculations, with my current of 3.2k bankroll make $25/hr counting cards at a local casino, which has bad rules relative to those that can be found in Vegas. However, for a career, a 5-7k br is more realistic, as my current risk of ruin is about 9% (which is fine for a hobby). This doesn't take into account advanced levels of counting but that will be disregarded for now. So why not just be a professional gambler? Its probably my fear of my parents shunning me or something for this misunderstood "career."
Why am I in school? I don't want to be an engineer. I say that law would be a nice career, but its not something I want to do, it is something that I feel that fits my personality. I enjoy argument (not arguing, but debate style argument), think logically, and on topics I know, can publicly speak. But that requires more school. Ugh. I dont know.
That being said, just thinking of my future is pretty interesting. Its probably laziness, although there may be other factors, but things that are considered important for my future (work, school, etc.) are always just delayed to the last minute. I just don't care. But what DO I want for the future. Thinking about it for a bit, talking with some friends, I believe that I would be perfectly satisfied if I just had a single room to rent with internet, a minifridge, and a microwave (even internet may not be necessary), which is pretty much a dorm room. And you know what? If school was taken out of the picture, I see no problem living like this for the rest of my life. Obviously this has potential for change, as my desires and likes will evolve for the "better" life and such, but at least for the moment, it looks fine. But for the sake of argument, lets say this is my life goal. How much money would I need to sustain myself? Taking away entertainment and the like, this is possible through a minimum wage job. I, however, through proven calculations, with my current of 3.2k bankroll make $25/hr counting cards at a local casino, which has bad rules relative to those that can be found in Vegas. However, for a career, a 5-7k br is more realistic, as my current risk of ruin is about 9% (which is fine for a hobby). This doesn't take into account advanced levels of counting but that will be disregarded for now. So why not just be a professional gambler? Its probably my fear of my parents shunning me or something for this misunderstood "career."
Why am I in school? I don't want to be an engineer. I say that law would be a nice career, but its not something I want to do, it is something that I feel that fits my personality. I enjoy argument (not arguing, but debate style argument), think logically, and on topics I know, can publicly speak. But that requires more school. Ugh. I dont know.