NEED A BODY OR TWO WEDNESDAY LATE AFTERNOON / EVENING.
I have other things to write about, but first and foremost - If anyone has an hour (Probably less) to spare the plan is to load my stuff into a small 10 ft. truck on Wednesday around 5 P.M.. I chose that time because at that time in Palisades it will be cooler and the workers who are finishing the place will more than likely have left for the day. All but the plasma TV is already in one spot and pretty much ready to go. If you can help drop me a note here. I realize it will be rush hour after that... sorry. Just one or two people would make a huge difference.
In other news.. still kicking around the whole casino dealer thing. Mom seems to really want me to do this though, which is cool. I've mentioned my reservations about it to her and that I'd hate to go through it and have it not be fruitful for me on the job front. Her argument is simply that I won't know unless I do it and that, at the very least, I would feel productive again and that alone might get things rolling for me. As you can probably guess I've been fluctuating between lethargic and angry about everything. Looking through endless job listings and not getting responses from the ones I apply to is doing little beyond making me feel more hopeless. I've done the math and figured that the low end wage and tip expectation for a starting dealer who works 3 days per week (Apparently you don't always start out full-time) can still get me back out on my own in about 4 to 6 weeks (Out this way, not in L.A.), assuming I can land something. I've been monitoring the job boards for the Indian casinos and the jobs seem to pop up every week or two. School is only 3 days per week, so something else part time isn't out of the question during training.. again, just to feel productive.
I could go on.. but it seems little more than the usual rambling bullsh*t straw-grasping and justification. Maybe I will go on.. I dunno.... I've been roasted in the past for not wanting to start at the bottom.. which isn't entirely true, but that's not relevant here. I'm just not willing to start at the bottom in film or office work, both industries where I have experience.. so maybe its time to rule those out. In broadcasting I'm willing to start at the bottom but right now the bottom doesn't pay me enough to survive, plain and simple. In dealing I have no qualms about starting at the bottom (And no choice either.. heh). I know it is a huge left turn, but maybe for once I end up liking what I'm doing? Maybe for once I will be doing something that has the potential to pay me more than the other things I've tried, gives me a chance to fix some past credit issues and start moving toward some semblance of where a guy my age should be in life.. financially speaking, or even going back to school on-line if I must.
I very much like the idea of leaving a job at the end of a shift and really knowing that I'm done for the day. I'm not making mental notes about the next day's workload, or having to monitor e-mails from home, or wondering what I might have forgotten to do or why I might get yelled at. Those aren't things I ever wanted and those are things that exist in most office-related jobs (Film or otherwise). I really want to just go, do my job, count my money, and go home and play (Or not, if I so choose). Maybe I'd feel like starting another band on the side, or pod-casting more once I have my own place, maybe taking some theater classes just for the enjoyment or creative writing classes... basically saving the creativity for my personal time. If you remember that's why I left IMAX. I wanted to be able to not have my energy completely drained at the end of the day so I could engage in some more creative ventures. Unfortunately things didn't work out that way, but that's another story.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that my needs seem to have become a lot more basic after the events of the past few years. I have to set realistic and attainable goals at this point, lest the second half of my life yield even less satisfaction than the first half.
I'm sure this babble isn't making any sense to anyone but me.. and I guess that's ok... its mine, right?
In other news.. still kicking around the whole casino dealer thing. Mom seems to really want me to do this though, which is cool. I've mentioned my reservations about it to her and that I'd hate to go through it and have it not be fruitful for me on the job front. Her argument is simply that I won't know unless I do it and that, at the very least, I would feel productive again and that alone might get things rolling for me. As you can probably guess I've been fluctuating between lethargic and angry about everything. Looking through endless job listings and not getting responses from the ones I apply to is doing little beyond making me feel more hopeless. I've done the math and figured that the low end wage and tip expectation for a starting dealer who works 3 days per week (Apparently you don't always start out full-time) can still get me back out on my own in about 4 to 6 weeks (Out this way, not in L.A.), assuming I can land something. I've been monitoring the job boards for the Indian casinos and the jobs seem to pop up every week or two. School is only 3 days per week, so something else part time isn't out of the question during training.. again, just to feel productive.
I could go on.. but it seems little more than the usual rambling bullsh*t straw-grasping and justification. Maybe I will go on.. I dunno.... I've been roasted in the past for not wanting to start at the bottom.. which isn't entirely true, but that's not relevant here. I'm just not willing to start at the bottom in film or office work, both industries where I have experience.. so maybe its time to rule those out. In broadcasting I'm willing to start at the bottom but right now the bottom doesn't pay me enough to survive, plain and simple. In dealing I have no qualms about starting at the bottom (And no choice either.. heh). I know it is a huge left turn, but maybe for once I end up liking what I'm doing? Maybe for once I will be doing something that has the potential to pay me more than the other things I've tried, gives me a chance to fix some past credit issues and start moving toward some semblance of where a guy my age should be in life.. financially speaking, or even going back to school on-line if I must.
I very much like the idea of leaving a job at the end of a shift and really knowing that I'm done for the day. I'm not making mental notes about the next day's workload, or having to monitor e-mails from home, or wondering what I might have forgotten to do or why I might get yelled at. Those aren't things I ever wanted and those are things that exist in most office-related jobs (Film or otherwise). I really want to just go, do my job, count my money, and go home and play (Or not, if I so choose). Maybe I'd feel like starting another band on the side, or pod-casting more once I have my own place, maybe taking some theater classes just for the enjoyment or creative writing classes... basically saving the creativity for my personal time. If you remember that's why I left IMAX. I wanted to be able to not have my energy completely drained at the end of the day so I could engage in some more creative ventures. Unfortunately things didn't work out that way, but that's another story.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that my needs seem to have become a lot more basic after the events of the past few years. I have to set realistic and attainable goals at this point, lest the second half of my life yield even less satisfaction than the first half.
I'm sure this babble isn't making any sense to anyone but me.. and I guess that's ok... its mine, right?