The Three Cupcakes (5/?) Part Two (2)
Title: The Three Cupcakes (5/?) Part Two (2)
Pairing(s): 2Jun (Family!2JunSeob) Some JunKwang
Rating: PG-13+ (NC-17 later)
Word Count: 4175
Summary: Doojoon makes a big mistake. Junhyung can’t take anymore. Yoseob is caught in the middle.
A/N: The second part to Part Two~
(A lovely picture by deemonic~ IT IS BEAUTEOUS, NO? Thank you, bb~~~)
Previous: The Three Cupcakes (5/?) Part Two (1)
(End of Doojoon’s POV. Sunday Morning, Junhyung’s POV)
I now know the sheer anxiety and excitement and numbing anticipation that Yoseob felt while he waited on the couch for Doojoon to arrive. For me, it was like being a child again and waiting to receive a special gift from my parents. Seobie was my gift. I wondered was he as excited as I had been the previous night. Sleep came to me as slow as it could. I kept myself awake with varying thoughts of my baby. I missed him more than I probably should have… Again, it’s pathetic that I can’t keep sane for three days. I think all I’ve done is worry and ponder on how he’s been feeling the entire time he’s been with Doojoon. He loves his appa, that much is true, and vice versa. He loves that man with every little thing in him. I am sure he had a great time with him.
But it was time to get him home to me.
Just as Yoseob had done that early Friday morning, I sat in wait by the door, craning my head to peer out into the flaked window at every hum of an engine that sounded. I prepared for his arrival with a large plate of fruit and cheese bread, adjacent to the cards from his kind classmates. I displayed his cupcakes in a glass showcase where cakes were typically put, but it sufficed. I had wrapped his presents and positioned them in his room so when he first walked in they would be the first objects to snatch his beautiful eyes. I set his new clothes on his bed, too, so we could look over them together. He wouldn’t be as excited about the clothes, but I would have fun dressing him up later.
…Those phone calls are what steadily tore at my calm mind. Hearing him but not being able to hold him or touch his face or stroke his hair before giving him his goodnight kiss was an unbearable awakening. I tucked him in just the way he liked every night, and whenever he asked for me to stay with him for a few more moments, I would. It did not feel right going immediately to bed these three days. Even my body reminded me to tuck him in, but there was no Seobie to tuck or kiss or read stories to…
But today there would be.
I know Doojoon’s engine from anywhere. It was causing a throaty fuss in my driveway, but it could do all the fussing it wanted, because my doll was home. I cut for the door and stripped it open. I saw Doojoon in the front seat behind the glass, and then I saw that little head of brown hair bobbling about in the back. One of the doors to the backseat opened -- the one on the right -- and out popped Yoseob. My heart trembled.
“UMMA!”
Yoseob’s little boots kicked up the snow as he raced for me across the concrete. My heart trembled with fear now.
“Seobie baby don’t run…! I don’t want you to slip and fall. Go slow… Umma will still be right here.”
Truthfully, I wanted him to run as fast as he could into my arms, but safety was first. Eventually his little self clamored to the doorway, and he shot his arms up to the sky. I bended over, scooped him up and squeezed him and squeezed him… I would not cry.
“You’re gonna make me dead, umma,” I heard him peep.
“Oh hush, hush.”
I pulled back some so our eyes could see one another, but as I expected, his eyes were immediately drawn to my hair. His pink face jumped into astonishment. His gloved fingers were all in my hair.
“Umma how is your hair red!? How did you do that?” Seobie asked. His disbelief was so cute.
“I didn’t do it. A nice noona at a shop did.”
“Is she magic? I want red hair like yours. Can noona make my hair red like magic, too, umma? Please?”
“Mmm… when you get older.”
“When I get five?”
I laughed and laughed, rewarding his cuteness with kisses. His face was full and pink, and his eyes had that healthy luster of youth. He was healthy and hearty.
Doojoon crept up.
“Here’s his suitcase. Everything’s in there. There were no problems with his health. He ate and drank well, and was pretty much normal the whole time. We played a lot, didn’t we, Seobie~?” Doojoon poked Yoseob’s nose. Yoseob giggled and tried to bite his finger, but Doojoon quickly retracted it, then wagged it in his face.
“Almost got me~”
“I got him one time, umma! I was fast. I bited it real hard,” Yoseob admitted to me with very much pride. I only had weird looks for Doojoon.
“Thank you for looking after him.” I took the suitcase in my free hand.
“I was happy to have him… and I like your hair like that,” he smiled at my head, “Very nice.”
I blinked at his honest flattery.
“Thank you…”
“So, can I say a good bye to him one more time?”
I supposed it wouldn’t hurt. I lowered Yoseob down to the floor before Doojoon, and he instantly coiled his arms around him. Yoseob hugged him back, too. I gave them some space to talk until the sight stung me. I retreated by taking the little suitcase to Yoseob’s room. By the time I had gotten back, Doojoon was getting some final kisses from Seobie.
“I promise,” I heard Doojoon say. There was nothing more from him after that. He was gone a minute after, and the expression on Seob’s face threatened to destroy all of the joy I had. I quickly went to him and kneeled by his side, putting on a little smile.
“Hey…” I rubbed his shoulders, then started to take off his wintry layers, “…You will see him again. Umma promises that you will get to see appa a lot now since it makes you happy so much. Okay? Don’t frown… Guess what? Umma got a lot of money from work and he bought you a lot of presents.”
I wanted to start our day with the little breakfast I made, but Yoseob’s depressed lips pushed me into introducing what I thought would have him grinning. I thought right: his eyes lit up.
“I got presents?”
“Go look in your room.”
And he dashed for his room. I heard a big shriek of surprise. He’d found the big one.
“Oh my god, umma! Oh my god! This present is huge! It’s bigger than me!”
I walked in on him bouncing around, circling the giant box like an excited little fish with a new, colorful structure to swim around. He would soon find it to be his kitchen set. I placed his coat and gloves in their rightful compartments, then kneeled close to the big present.
“Can you guess what it is?”
“Um… uhhh… I don’t know. It’s so big, umma. I wanna open it.”
“You have to wait till your birthday.”
Yoseob pouted playfully, “But I always gotta wait. I have to wait for red hair and I have to wait to open presents. Wait, wait, wait.”
His pouting was horribly adorable. If he kept pouting like that I might’ve let him open one of the little cars I got him.
“One of these days you’ll wish that things went a lot slower… I wish my Seobie didn’t have to grow up. I wish he would be four-years-old forever and ever.”
Yoseob laughed at me when I said that. I laughed with him.
Then I brought him to the dining table to feast on his fruit and cheese bread. He saw the chocolate cupcakes I baked him and grew more restless. I promised him one after dinner. We read all of the cards he’d received together. They had some of the most heartfelt messages a preschooler could think up. There were lots of hearts from the little girls.
“This is from my friend Hara, and this one is from Nina,” Yoseob explained, holding up a yellow and red card that both leaked with glitter.
“Are those your favorite cards?”
“Mmmmm, no.”
“Which one do you like the most?”
Yoseob hurriedly flipped through each and every card, seemingly knowing which one he was looking for. He found it. It was a yellow card with two little boys on the front. I guessed it was Yoseob and his friend. They were under a happy sun.
“Seungho. He is my best friend. He draws me pictures a lot in class.”
“Ohhh… How precious of Seungho. Well umma’s gonna leave you to your cards, ‘kay? I’ll be unpacking your suitcase. Keep eating.”
I went into his room and removed the worn clothes from his suitcase. I came across a delightful little hat as I did. Blue, with ear flaps and a puff ball at the top. But I didn’t pack this hat… Did Doojoon get it for him? I walked back to the dining table and showed Yoseob the little blue hat.
“Seobie sweetheart, where did you get this from? It’s cute.”
“………Appa buyed it for me.”
“That’s sweet. It really is cute… and it was just you and appa, right? No one else was with you?”
“Um… no. Just me and appa.”
“‘Um’?” This “um” did not match the other “um”s Seobie used when talking with me. It did not meet my ears the same way, either.
I kneeled before him as he sat in the chair.
“Seobie. Look at me.”
He looked, but only for a minute. His round face was muddled with apprehension, and after that minute, his eyes would not look into mine. It worried me.
“Baby, look at umma’s eyes.”
After unlocking his fingers, he peered at me again.
“You are not lying to me, are you?”
“No.”
“It was just you and appa.”
“…”
“Yes or no, Seobie.”
Yoseob hiccupped, and more followed after, until a needle took to his little lungs and burst the bubble of sobs that ached my heart. Tears almost automatically streamed from his eyes like running water.
“Please let me see appa. Please don’t be mad. I want to see appa.”
He confessed that “Woon hyung” gave him the hat and that he was present with him and Doojoon the whole weekend long. He confessed that Doojoon told him to basically lie to me about seeing the slut. And I flashed from angry to disappointed to angry to calm.
But Yoseob’s hiccups relaxed me. My baby must’ve felt horrible…
“Seobie… shhh, hush. Don’t cry… It’s okay…”
“A-Are y… you mad at me?”
“I am not ‘mad’, just… disappointed. Baby you should never lie to your umma. No matter who told you to say what or how big the problem is. You always, always tell the truth, especially to your parents. Okay?”
Yoseob nodded, “…I’m sorry for lying, umma. I never do it again.”
I smiled and gave him a hug and kiss. He was innocent. It wasn’t his fault that he told that lie, because Doojoon planted it in his head. Yoseob has never lied to me and has never been afraid to tell me certain things ever. Not until now.
I would like to have a word with this man.
(Sunday Evening)
Doojoon knocked. I know it’s him because I know his knock. I answered, and grimaced at the sight of him. I would chew my teeth if I could. He had the audacity to show up after what he’s done?
“May I come in?” he asked.
“May you ‘come in’? The fuck kind of question is that? No. Hell no. No you can’t come in, but I will tell you what you can do. You can just stand there outside while you explain to me -- in detail -- how you figured--”
“--You know what, Jun. I don’t have time to listen to this.”
…Doojoon walked right into my house. He… He brushed past me, and simply strolled inside. He had his suitcase following behind. I was so surprised that I couldn’t even react. Oh? Did he think he was moving back in? Did he think he could just waltz right back in without my say? This was some bold, one-of-a-kind shit he was pulling, something only Doojoon would pull, and there was no place for it -- or him -- in my house. This was going to get ugly really fast, and Yoseob sensed this as well. He was sitting on the couch, his big eyes looking anxiously my way.
“Yoseob, go to your room--”
“Don’t you tell him what to do, Doojoon,” I turned to Yoseob, “You sit right there, Yoseob. Don’t you move an inch.”
“Junhyung he doesn’t need to hear any of this.”
“Oh yes he does, since you’re the one who tangled him in this bullshit you brought in here,” I approached him and probed all in his personal space. Our torsos bumped, “How dare you instruct him to lie to me. He has never lied to me in his life, and you dare instill that inside of him? I am his umma, and I deserved to know who he was around. I told you I didn’t want him around that person and you -- no surprise -- exposed him to--”
“First of all, he was supposed to be gone for the weekend, but he stayed. I had to stay. Seobie and I wouldn’t have anywhere to go.”
“Then you could’ve kept him at home!!”
“I wanted to be alone with him!! I didn’t want you around! And for your information, Dongwoon treated Yoseob so, so kindly. He played with him, he taught him how to color straight, he fixed dinners with him and made sure he was never hungry. Yoseob told me they had fun together, didn’t you, Yoseob?”
My baby nodded his head. It angered me. I felt betrayed… Like this whore was somehow trying to take my place. First he stole my man, then he was going to steal my Seobie?
No one was ever going to take my place in Yoseob’s life.
“Oh, but did appa tell you that slutwoon was the man he shared his heart with? Did he tell you that, Seobie?!” I feverishly directed my attention back onto Doojoon, “Dongwoon is the person who appa gave his heart to! He is the reason why umma felt not special. Did you know that!?”
Doojoon nervously looked at Yoseob. Yoseob was looking back, so, so confused. He walked to the couch and sat down next to him.
“…It’s true, Seobie. Dongwoon--hyung is the other person that appa loved. But don’t you remember me telling you that appa didn’t love him anymore?”
“Really?” I intercepted, “Then who is it that you love now?”
“Somehow -- after how you continue to treat me so poorly -- it’s you that I still love.”
“I treat you ‘poorly’? ‘Poorly’!? Then how did you treat me when you cheated on me, Doojoon? More than poorly, and for no reason! I put up with your sorry ass and your sorry excuses for months while being as tolerant as I possibly could handle. I loved you in spite of your shortcomings, and I am again thanked by you going out and fucking some other man whom you introduced Yoseob to. What do you call that, Doojoon? Do you call that treating someone poorly? And if you don’t like how I treat you -- which is completely justifiable -- then you can just get out of my house, ’cause I will not have you talk to me like that.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Fine. Then I will.”
I found my coat and I snatched my keys. I had to get out of that house. I couldn’t be in the same room or breathe the same air as Doojoon at that time. I felt that I would suffocate or meltdown or explode into a range of emotions.
“I should’ve fucked Kikwang while I had the chance.”
I walked out, threw myself into my car and drove and drove and drove until I could see no lights from the town buildings. Until I was as far from the town and my home as I could be. Until I could see nothing. Just a black, nightly back drop with sprinkling snow falling around me. I pulled over onto a grassy curb and lingered there.
This is how I am spending my anniversary week. Crying and crying… I wanted badly to see Kikwang, but he was just across the street, and I didn’t want Doojoon to come over and cause problems there. How could things get this bad? When did it all go downhill? I thought I was loving Doojoon, giving him what he wanted, but he said that I continued to treat him ‘poorly’. I loved him in fear that he would hurt me for the longest time, but when that never happened, I finally felt I could let my heart breathe and it could quit holding its breath. Now I feel my heart slowly drawing in air to be stored away for the umpteenth time…
With no one to judge me, I break down, creating a trough of tears.
Things will never get better.
(End of Junhyung’s POV. Monday Morning, 12:20 A.M.)
Depleted and all, Junhyung inserted the key into the lock and waited for the gentle click. He felt it; he sighed. With a twist of his wrist, he turned the bronze knob, jiggled the door a bit, then pushed forward.
The lights were down inside… the television was flickering with loud light. The entire house had a gentle feel. Food containers littered the table: a simple ramen meal made for two being the most noticeable. The floor was free of toys. Junhyung detected something on his left. He turned his head.
His eyes were pulled into Doojoon’s wide-awake duo. Yoseob was in his lap. His little limbs were wrapped around his torso like little leeches, his noggin resting comfortably on his right shoulder. There was only one thing problematic with this adorable, innocent scene: It was 12:23 AM… Monday. Yoseob had school in some eight hours. Now Junhyung presumed during his “getaway” that Doojoon would have the competence to put Yoseob to bed at a reasonable time. He did not use his best judgment, apparently. Yoseob needed comfortable clothes and a comfortable place to rest. The couch was unacceptable, even if it was Doojoon’s body he was resting on.
Junhyung quietly closed the door, but he would have slammed it in a fit if it weren’t for his child napping. He swiftly stepped for the sofa, a tight wind following him. With a light smile for Yoseob and a raging scowl for Doojoon, Junhyung rubbed the little boy’s backside along with patting it with extreme delicacy to make it an easy transition out of his nap.
“Seobiiiie,” Junhyung called. Yoseob stirred. His umma carefully peeled him off of Doojoon -- who cautiously helped, but stopped when caustic eyes burned him. Junhyung scooped Yoseob’s body onto his, leech arms sucking onto his torso now. He fell back to sleep easily.
“Come on. We’re going to bed now.”
Junhyung kissed him, and began his walk for the little one’s chamber so he could properly put him to bed. Doojoon followed him in. He stood by as Junhyung settled Yoseob on his mattress. The latter nodded off, jerking himself awake and slumping all over the place while he waited for his umma to get his pajamas from his drawers.
Junhyung was grumbling under his breath. They were angry grumbles, so he couldn’t have been talking to Yoseob. These angry grumbles were presumably for Doojoon, and Doojoon wasn’t going to take any badmouthing without giving his side of the story as to why Yoseob hadn’t been put to bed.
“There’s a reason why he’s--”
Junhyung about-faced sharply. He was pointing at him. His eyes could cut precious metals.
“Don’t. Say. A word.”
And in spite of that, Doojoon -- for the first time -- couldn’t keep his lips together.
“Junhyung--”
“First you teach him how to lie. Then you deliberately have him interact with that blonde, pudding-eating slut, and now, what time is it, Doojoon?” Junhyung asked the man in fierce whispers, yanking out a long-sleeved pajama shirt and complementing long-legged pants, “It’s almost twelve-thirty, and Yoseob’s not even in bed. He has school tomo--today, and he’s going to be so, so tired. He’s already falling behind; how is he going to be able to perform!?”
Junhyung kneeled to the floor and resumed getting the young one dressed. He started grinning at how limp and cute Yoseob was. It amazed him how he managed to still sleep; it made things a little difficult, but Junhyung got it done. Lastly, Yoseob’s head came poking through the gape in his shirt. Umma Jun tucked him into bed, pecked his cheek with three strokes of his brown hair, and started for the door.
Doojoon blocked the exit. His lips were curled. Junhyung recognized that there was something that he wanted to share, but he wasn’t hearing it. He got his baby to bed, and all he needed now was a long, long soaking.
“Doojoon, move--”
“He thought you were leaving him,” Doojoon began, “And for good. He thought you wouldn’t come back. He called you, but you left your phone, so to him, he didn’t know where you were and he didn’t know if you were coming home again. I tried telling him that you would never leave him and that you would come back, so we both waited by the window on the couch. He cried for hours, and when it got late, he wouldn’t go to bed. He refused to; I tried making him many, many times, but he would get upset and throw a harder tantrum. ‘Umma left like appa did’ is… is what he kept saying. I did my best to comfort him, but eventually he fell asleep. It was… rough.”
It was like air disagreed with Junhyung’s body. Air no longer supported him. Every breath was empty. His heart dropped to his feet and sprang back up with each beat.
Junhyung was a vegetable. He was something that could only feel internally, but show no external emotion.
Yoseob went hours and hours thinking his umma left him.
Yoseob cried.
Everything in Junhyung’s bones cowered. He could not believe he had done what he swore to himself and to his baby what he would never do. Could never do. He could never leave Yoseob.
He -- not Doojoon, not anyone else, but he -- broke his little one’s heart.
Junhyung slowly turned on his heel to take a painful peek behind him. His eyes gently descended onto the little ball huddled beneath several blankets. Suddenly, all the emotions that he imagined that coursed through the little one’s worried frame of mind came at him all at once. His appa had abandoned him once, and now his umma, too? He would have to live without his umma? The very one who promised to take care of him till the ends of time? Why would he leave him all alone? Did he do something wrong? Was his umma really mad at him for lying?
He couldn’t take another person walking out on him. Yoseob didn’t have it in him to withstand another devastating blow like that. It would blow him off his little feet, especially since it would be his umma this time.
Junhyung didn’t feel like he should be called “umma” at all. He felt like nothing.
Junhyung walked right back to the edge of Yoseob’s bed. As quietly and gently as allowable, he climbed onto the itty mattress with his knees, then put himself into a comfortable fetal position in front of Yoseob. His arms embraced him, his body relaxed, and Junhyung became as close as he could to Yoseob without suffocating him. Their noses were some inches apart. Yoseob felt the presence of another, but was closer to sleep than consciousness, therefore unable to acknowledge his umma. He just loved the warmth and protection that he felt from this new presence. It was peaceful.
Junhyung delivered gazes of love to the boy -- as well as many small kisses -- until that gaze clouded with a film of moisture from his eyes. Tears sank into Yoseob’s pillow. “I’m sorry,” Junhyung repeated, two words that held many cracks. It was all he could say… “I’m sorry, I love you.”
They would have to have a long, long talk tomorrow morning. He was beginning to suggest keeping him home from school later in the morning. Yes. He needed to stay home. All three of them needed to talk together. As a family.
Doojoon left umma and son to themselves. He showered, then retired to his actual bed.
It wasn’t as comfortable as he thought it would have been.
Jajaaa~~~ Okay now we are getting somewhere with this. I would say just another chapter until he climax. But I’m still not done with what I want to do for this…
Thank you to sweet, enthusiastic bb notesfromthesky for helping me with this chapter and later bits and pieces of this, AAAAND for writing the most loveliest little side story for this fic. DDD: If you haven’t read it for yourself, HERE it is. It will make you cry all the tears, though, so prepare. <333333
Well, I will see you next time!! Thank you for all your love for this story… I really, really hope this makes your heart feel. :)
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Next: The Three Cupcakes: Happy & Baby (Side Story)