(no subject)
I don't know what to think anymore. My entire life has been thrown around and nothing makes sense anymore.
Basic Recap:
-School's hard, really hard. I don't know how I can make it through the year.
-Work sucks, big time. The only good thing about working there was getting free movies, now I don't even get that. I need a better paying job.
-My family is driving me crazy, I need some away time.
-My room is a disaster, it needs to be put together, but part of me would rather live in a wreck for 2 years, it seems more appropiate.
-I'm sick and I have been for a week or two. It won't go away, I don't even remember what it felt like to feel fine.
-I'm worried about everyone in FL.
A while ago I thought everything would work out, that eventually I would be happy up here and that I would enjoy the next two years. Well, I was wrong. You were right. Yeah, you know who you are and let me tell you, you were so fucking right. I hate to admit it, not because I don't want to be wrong, but because I don't know how I can face these next two years. I still feel like I'm going to come back, like this isn't real. I wish it weren't, I hate this so much. I can't even begin to describe it, I can't even process it. All I know is that you were right, things are not going to be ok, no matter how hard I try to convinvce myself of that, it's not going to happen. Nothing is ever going to be alright again. I'm stuck up here with no way out and you aren't in my life, not in the way I want, need.
You were right, so very right. If only I weren't so stubborn. Maybe then my life as of 7 months ago would still be here today.
I can only dream...
Basic Recap:
-School's hard, really hard. I don't know how I can make it through the year.
-Work sucks, big time. The only good thing about working there was getting free movies, now I don't even get that. I need a better paying job.
-My family is driving me crazy, I need some away time.
-My room is a disaster, it needs to be put together, but part of me would rather live in a wreck for 2 years, it seems more appropiate.
-I'm sick and I have been for a week or two. It won't go away, I don't even remember what it felt like to feel fine.
-I'm worried about everyone in FL.
A while ago I thought everything would work out, that eventually I would be happy up here and that I would enjoy the next two years. Well, I was wrong. You were right. Yeah, you know who you are and let me tell you, you were so fucking right. I hate to admit it, not because I don't want to be wrong, but because I don't know how I can face these next two years. I still feel like I'm going to come back, like this isn't real. I wish it weren't, I hate this so much. I can't even begin to describe it, I can't even process it. All I know is that you were right, things are not going to be ok, no matter how hard I try to convinvce myself of that, it's not going to happen. Nothing is ever going to be alright again. I'm stuck up here with no way out and you aren't in my life, not in the way I want, need.
You were right, so very right. If only I weren't so stubborn. Maybe then my life as of 7 months ago would still be here today.
I can only dream...