uHH, sICK fIRES, bRO [ text]

[theoogonibomber]

uHH, dAVE, hALP,
i HAVE, tOO MUCH SWAG,
hOW DO i, uHH, tURN IT OFF,,,
aLL THESE hIGHBLOODS, uP IN MY GRILL,
i CAN'T HANDRE IT,

Comments

[stridercrime]

how would i know how to turn it off
look at me bro
its unstoppable
all this swag

[theoogonibomber]

wHAT,
nO,
yOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT,
yOU'RE THE SWAG EXPERT,
D8{

[stridercrime]

i know all ABOUT swag
not how to stop it
thats in the territory of the swagless
no go bro thems the badlands to a strider

[theoogonibomber]

bUT dAVE,,,,,,
i CAN'T,
i DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT i'M DOING, tO GET ALL THIS ATTENTION,
iT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING,
uHHHHH,,,
wHAT, aM i SUPPOSED TO DO,

[stridercrime]

idk man maybe you were born or hatched or whatever with it
its probably not maybelline
shit bro looks like you gotta take the only route out
besides collecting a harem and being a pimp swag master that is
time to become a hermit
you gotta run and hide your swag from the masses
cant let the bitches keep falling all over themselves
shit im fine with that but you arent
you have your mission young troll
wat do now

[theoogonibomber]

bUT, uHH, i CAN'T DO THAT, dAVE,
kARKAT SAID i HAVE TO STAY WITH eQUIUS,
aND i CAN'T BE A HERMIT, aND TAKE MY BITCHES WITH ME, RIGHT,

eQUIUS IS GOING TO KILL ME, wHEN HE FINDS OUT, i CALLED HIM MY BITCH, pROBABLY,
,,,
nO, wAIT, eVEN WORSE,
hE'LL START SWEATING, aND MOUTHBREATHING, eWWW,,,

NOT HERE

[adorablthirsty]

[Oh dear god WHAT IS HE READING? Mental images can obviously cause physical pain, because his thinkpan hurts pretty badly now.]

[stridercrime]

well you can take your bitches with you into hiding
thats a thing

hah you admitted hes your bitch
congrats nitram
youve begun your path to swag brotherhood

[theoogonibomber]

wHAT,
nO,
wELL,
oNLY TECHNICALLY,
i'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE IF i WANT HIM, aS A BITCH,
i GUESS HE'S BEEN NICER, aND REALLY PRETTY PATHETIC LATELY,
yOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIS FACE, wHEN HE SAW ME WITH YOUR vULPIX TOY,
iT LIKE, cRUMPLED IN ON ITSELF,
iT WAS AWFUL,

[stridercrime]

wow it does sound like hes got the hots for you
brb spamming you with random gifts
i wanna see what he does
maybe he explodes
gross
thatd be awesome

[theoogonibomber]

uHH,,,
i AM NOT SURE IF WANT, dAVE,
bUT i GUESS i WON'T TURN DOWN MORE TOYS,
tHEY ARE REALLY NEAT, i THINK,
i DO LIKE COLLECTING THINGS,
bUT YOU SHOULDN'T SPEND MONEY ON ME,
tHAT MAKES ME FEEL A BIT, uNCOMFORTABLE, mYSELF,

[stridercrime]

im not actually using much money
at least not as much as i expected
besides i feel like it
so why the hell not
its something to do

[theoogonibomber]

oH dAVE-SENPAI,
}:<
tHAT IS SO SWEET OF YOU,
i AM CURRENTLY TURNING INTO A PUDDLE OF, uHH, qUIVERING ORANGE GOO,
aND MY, uHH, kOKORO IS GOING, dOKI DOKI, aND i AM FILLED WITH FEELINGS OF, uHH, kAWAII DESU HONTO NI,
yOU ARE, tOO GOOD TO ME,
kYAAAAAAA~
(*∪ ◡ ∪*)

[mirthfulness]

what the everliving mother of fuck did you just say?

[adorablthirsty]

I THINK THIS IS THE POINT WHERE WE NEED TO BAN TAVROS FROM EVER SPEAKING WITH THE STRIDERS AGAIN.

[mirthfulness]

ALL IN MOTHERFUCKIN FAVOR SAY AYE.
aye.
AYE.
:o|