Moderatiion is everything

[talazia]

from Wikipedia, the definition of flame war:

When the discussion becomes heated and sides do nothing more than complain and not accept each other's differences in point of view, the discussion degenerates into what is called a flame war. To flame someone means to go off-topic and attack the person rather than their opinion. Likely candidates for

Comments

[ggygax]

My experience is that the place where almost all internet discussion degenerate into flame wars is when people stop discussing the topic and start discussing the motivations of others involved in the conversation.

My suggestion is this: If a conversation is getting too heated for you, and you want to walk away. WALK AWAY. Just that. Just walk away. No one will notice, no will complain, no one will call you on it.

Do NOT announce you are walking away and then blame the other person. In other words: Don't Flounce.

There is nothing to be gained ever by telling someone else that they are responsible for your actions. No one in the history of humanity has ever been convinced by that kind of argument. It really serves no purpose except to give the person flouncing the feeling that they got the last word in, and getting the last word is so not the point.

Just own your own actions, and don't try to justify them by telling someone else what they are doing. That just makes it personal,and just invites the other person to discuss, question and speculate about your motivations.

I've never seen that sort of armchair psychology and open speculation about other people's motives lead to anything good.