this is what they call, a bad day
when I woke up yesterday morning, I knew it was going to be a bad day. it was just one of those unshakable feelings. though I really didn't want it to be and did a lot of things to prove otherwise, eventually things go beyond my control and happen.
drama drama drama, it seems to the be key note speaker in my life for some reason. maybe I am just drawn to it. because in my heart of hearts, I love drama in a strange way. it breaks up the monotony of day to day life. its just a source of amusement for people like me.
I know its usually no fun, but at least it keeps things interesting, you know?
while I do claim to be perfect in every such way possible, the reality of it is far from the truth. turns out by some crazy coincidence that I am very prone to becoming a deeply narcissistic and self-admiring individual. because while I am above somethings, it doesn't mean I am vulnerable to them in some fashion.
usually a sign of it is when I brush my hair to the side of my head while talking someone. lately, I've caught myself doing it on occasion. I wonder how long I've been doing that... for that matter, what other tells do I have that aren't so obivious. much to wonder.
maybe its my love for theatrics, but I just can't help a good source of pure amusement. of course, in the end of things, my conscience usually kicks in and leaves me feeling guilty of taking enjoyment from others misery and anguish.
now, of course, when it happens to me, its another story entirely. for me, its always been life lessons and what not. everything I had to learn at one time or another.
I will say this, everything that has happened to me, I have benefited from in one sense or another. stronger and all that meaningless jazz.
wait, strike that. one time no. there was once a time where I had nothing to gain. that, was of course my mistake. but I do not make the same mistake twice. we shall bet on that, yes?
things in my life are as you can see, hectic. but it is just more responsibility and all that. nothing I really can't handle if I try. which I have to because this is all serious business lately. its a drag and a half. who woulda thunk it. and yes, thunk is a word.
I have been, rather on edge lately. and I don't know why. maybe its the month. such a ugly and dry month. now valentines for some reason, looks to be a even more arid than this one.
now, I have plans for this year, because I get to have a little fun this year because I'm 21ish in like months. however. before that time is up. I have to find someone.
I have to have someone that will listen to me bitch! ;D
not just that. well. I just need someone now. biological clock zomg!
well that would be my excuse if I was a chickadee, but no.
just lately. its been tough. my friends have taken up some of the slack, but they can only do so much for me. more like, I'll only let them do so much. I don't want to say its a maturity thing because holy mother of joseph cheezewiz I am by far not "mature" in any respect. but I do feel I have grown emotionally or something gay like that. I don't know the word, so I'll just substitue gay, works for you yes?
thats enough for now. later alligator.
drama drama drama, it seems to the be key note speaker in my life for some reason. maybe I am just drawn to it. because in my heart of hearts, I love drama in a strange way. it breaks up the monotony of day to day life. its just a source of amusement for people like me.
I know its usually no fun, but at least it keeps things interesting, you know?
while I do claim to be perfect in every such way possible, the reality of it is far from the truth. turns out by some crazy coincidence that I am very prone to becoming a deeply narcissistic and self-admiring individual. because while I am above somethings, it doesn't mean I am vulnerable to them in some fashion.
usually a sign of it is when I brush my hair to the side of my head while talking someone. lately, I've caught myself doing it on occasion. I wonder how long I've been doing that... for that matter, what other tells do I have that aren't so obivious. much to wonder.
maybe its my love for theatrics, but I just can't help a good source of pure amusement. of course, in the end of things, my conscience usually kicks in and leaves me feeling guilty of taking enjoyment from others misery and anguish.
now, of course, when it happens to me, its another story entirely. for me, its always been life lessons and what not. everything I had to learn at one time or another.
I will say this, everything that has happened to me, I have benefited from in one sense or another. stronger and all that meaningless jazz.
wait, strike that. one time no. there was once a time where I had nothing to gain. that, was of course my mistake. but I do not make the same mistake twice. we shall bet on that, yes?
things in my life are as you can see, hectic. but it is just more responsibility and all that. nothing I really can't handle if I try. which I have to because this is all serious business lately. its a drag and a half. who woulda thunk it. and yes, thunk is a word.
I have been, rather on edge lately. and I don't know why. maybe its the month. such a ugly and dry month. now valentines for some reason, looks to be a even more arid than this one.
now, I have plans for this year, because I get to have a little fun this year because I'm 21ish in like months. however. before that time is up. I have to find someone.
I have to have someone that will listen to me bitch! ;D
not just that. well. I just need someone now. biological clock zomg!
well that would be my excuse if I was a chickadee, but no.
just lately. its been tough. my friends have taken up some of the slack, but they can only do so much for me. more like, I'll only let them do so much. I don't want to say its a maturity thing because holy mother of joseph cheezewiz I am by far not "mature" in any respect. but I do feel I have grown emotionally or something gay like that. I don't know the word, so I'll just substitue gay, works for you yes?
thats enough for now. later alligator.