sick on july 4th! what a drag!
Maybe it was nerves or I didn't cook something long enough, but I think I'm coming down with something as we speak.
My temperature is 101.2 and I'm about the futherest I've been from dreary in a long time.
But oh well.
Tommorow wasn't going to be that exciting anyway.
At least I was going out though. Doubt I will now. Curses!
I wish it was colder. Can't stand this heat.
Everytime I log in on myspace, I get spammed with like a zillion friend requests from people trying to get me to buy porn or their crappy softwear CDs. How disappointing.
How have I been?
Safe to say, fairly busy.
All smiles though.
And another thing, the amount of pictures I got was disappointing to say the least!
More work for me, thats all it is.
I need a haircut. I think thats about the 47th time I have said that since last Wednesday.
My iPod is busted I think.... :( :( :( :(
I can get songs to play, but I have to shuffle them one by one and not from the menu. Sucks SO much.
I once felt at peace with everything.
But it got messed up. Torn and broken. Rearranged and assembled askew.
Left me with such a desire.
Forcing myself to take a apprehensive approach to everything I wanted. Fumbling over my words, falling over and over again. Crawling out of a hole, only to fall back into another one. Time and time again.
I write in hopes of recognizing this... problem. To shine a light on something I can't seem to see.
But I know how this happened.
And even though she has been gone for such a long time...
Nothing has changed. And I don't understand why.
I miss her terribly and I feel like a horrible son.
Even though I try so hard to hide it...
Only in the last year, have I felt the effects from so many years of...
Can't find a word.
However. The cycle must be broken.
And even though trust is something that so many people have taken for granted, I am trying to remember what it felt like.
Dreadful I feel for the people that didn't want to listen to me. Try to understand the battle that I fought and still fight today.
It isn't about if I trust you, it's about if you will trust me.
I'm rambling again aren't I.
It is my damn journal after all and its 4 in the morning.
Wonder if KFC is still open...
I need to do my nails... all jagedy. Is jagedy a word? I think it is. And if its not, I hereby proclaim it so.
Other than that...
I can think of only other one thing to write about. But its late! Maybe another time...
My temperature is 101.2 and I'm about the futherest I've been from dreary in a long time.
But oh well.
Tommorow wasn't going to be that exciting anyway.
At least I was going out though. Doubt I will now. Curses!
I wish it was colder. Can't stand this heat.
Everytime I log in on myspace, I get spammed with like a zillion friend requests from people trying to get me to buy porn or their crappy softwear CDs. How disappointing.
How have I been?
Safe to say, fairly busy.
All smiles though.
And another thing, the amount of pictures I got was disappointing to say the least!
More work for me, thats all it is.
I need a haircut. I think thats about the 47th time I have said that since last Wednesday.
My iPod is busted I think.... :( :( :( :(
I can get songs to play, but I have to shuffle them one by one and not from the menu. Sucks SO much.
I once felt at peace with everything.
But it got messed up. Torn and broken. Rearranged and assembled askew.
Left me with such a desire.
Forcing myself to take a apprehensive approach to everything I wanted. Fumbling over my words, falling over and over again. Crawling out of a hole, only to fall back into another one. Time and time again.
I write in hopes of recognizing this... problem. To shine a light on something I can't seem to see.
But I know how this happened.
And even though she has been gone for such a long time...
Nothing has changed. And I don't understand why.
I miss her terribly and I feel like a horrible son.
Even though I try so hard to hide it...
Only in the last year, have I felt the effects from so many years of...
Can't find a word.
However. The cycle must be broken.
And even though trust is something that so many people have taken for granted, I am trying to remember what it felt like.
Dreadful I feel for the people that didn't want to listen to me. Try to understand the battle that I fought and still fight today.
It isn't about if I trust you, it's about if you will trust me.
I'm rambling again aren't I.
It is my damn journal after all and its 4 in the morning.
Wonder if KFC is still open...
I need to do my nails... all jagedy. Is jagedy a word? I think it is. And if its not, I hereby proclaim it so.
Other than that...
I can think of only other one thing to write about. But its late! Maybe another time...