CANDY HEARTS: an analysis
Let's Kiss: an invitation for a kiss. Perhaps the candy more than the actual physical act especially if you recieve this in third grade. In the case that you're speaking of the candy then, most probably, they mean to say that the two of you should both temporarily transmutate into a Hershey (tm) Kiss. Unsure wether foil is needed or not.
Marry Me: Don't. It's just a fucking candy. For the love of God. Unless there's an expensive ring surrounding it. And even then, second guess. Especially if the print is off-center.
Get Real: Stop being imaginary. Become more coporal. Work on actuality in existence instead of just pretending you exist. Or, slang-I'm totally not into you so much so that I'm using a lame piece of shit candy to tell you.
Go Girl: Move foreward, female person. Resume, vagina-ed individual. Or, slang-I'm not hip, but my candy is.
Cutie Pie: Beware of this one, you might get eaten. Or pinched.
Only you: You are the only one who had recieved this candy along with a dozen more people who recieved it from the same box. Or, don't worry, I'll kill everyone else.
Love me: Not the candy, the person who gave it to you.
You & Me: We should totally get an ampersand and stand around it one day.
Dream: It's the first one I pulled out of the box. And it was peptol bismal pink. Or, a secret message telling you that you've been asleep your entire life and when you wake up you'll find that you're an overweight forty year old man in a coma--unless you're already an overweight forty year old man (sans coma). Then you'll find out that you're a supermodel in a coma.
Got Love: Lame attempt to be hip using a previously famous catch phrase. e.g. Got Milk? Except in this case it's a statement. The candy heart is stating that it has finally found love. Don't eat it, you meanie.
Page me: Ditch attempt in updating. No one has a pager now. Get with the fucking times. Also, if you recieve this you are not loved, especially if it's white. You just asked for a heart or looked pitiful enough to get one. Hush up and chew, ya bum.
Dream team: Variation on "Dream." This, in fact, is a call to all the other dream related hearts to beat your small intestines to a pulp. What this has to do with dreams, I don't know. If you get this heart they were trying to find one that fit you but, really, there isn't a "Douchebag" heart. It started with a D...
I (heart) you: Careful with this one. The person giving this is lible to tear their own heart out of their chest and pelt you with it. And/or, the rest of their little, hard, chalky candy hearts. Whichever is more achievable at the moment.
Be mine: An invitation to slavery.
--Me: It's either misprinted or your friend has turned into a small pink candy heart.
So fine: As apposed to "so moderate" or "so acceptable." Fine is passable. But being so fine might mean that you are "good" status.
Awe
Some: They are disappointed that you only give them some...
For you: But if you give it to someone else it will be for them, but the words won't change. This heart is a skank.
(heart) of gold: It's not. Pawn shops won't accept it as gold. Trust me.
Be true: Or, a unpopular alternative-"Don't be not true."
Be my hero: That's a little demanding, don't you think? Was it Zoe on Serenity who said, "You know who a hero is? Someone who gets people killed." Now, "be my geek" I could do.
Fax me: I've tried it. Faxing a candy heart is almost as impossible as pawning one off for gold.
Love her: Who? Her. Who? HER! Oh.
IM me: Either a call to instant message you or stating that the heart is actually sentient, "I'm me"
Magic: It's not.
All star: A heart with an identity crisis.
One kiss: Low expectations.
Wise up: Another cheap way to say "I hate you."
Whiz kid: Bladder control issues.
Sweet talk: Stupid pun.
Be Good: But not great.
Love you: Please masturbate regularly.
Ask me: It's four.
Ura Star: I don't know who she is either.
Marry Me: Don't. It's just a fucking candy. For the love of God. Unless there's an expensive ring surrounding it. And even then, second guess. Especially if the print is off-center.
Get Real: Stop being imaginary. Become more coporal. Work on actuality in existence instead of just pretending you exist. Or, slang-I'm totally not into you so much so that I'm using a lame piece of shit candy to tell you.
Go Girl: Move foreward, female person. Resume, vagina-ed individual. Or, slang-I'm not hip, but my candy is.
Cutie Pie: Beware of this one, you might get eaten. Or pinched.
Only you: You are the only one who had recieved this candy along with a dozen more people who recieved it from the same box. Or, don't worry, I'll kill everyone else.
Love me: Not the candy, the person who gave it to you.
You & Me: We should totally get an ampersand and stand around it one day.
Dream: It's the first one I pulled out of the box. And it was peptol bismal pink. Or, a secret message telling you that you've been asleep your entire life and when you wake up you'll find that you're an overweight forty year old man in a coma--unless you're already an overweight forty year old man (sans coma). Then you'll find out that you're a supermodel in a coma.
Got Love: Lame attempt to be hip using a previously famous catch phrase. e.g. Got Milk? Except in this case it's a statement. The candy heart is stating that it has finally found love. Don't eat it, you meanie.
Page me: Ditch attempt in updating. No one has a pager now. Get with the fucking times. Also, if you recieve this you are not loved, especially if it's white. You just asked for a heart or looked pitiful enough to get one. Hush up and chew, ya bum.
Dream team: Variation on "Dream." This, in fact, is a call to all the other dream related hearts to beat your small intestines to a pulp. What this has to do with dreams, I don't know. If you get this heart they were trying to find one that fit you but, really, there isn't a "Douchebag" heart. It started with a D...
I (heart) you: Careful with this one. The person giving this is lible to tear their own heart out of their chest and pelt you with it. And/or, the rest of their little, hard, chalky candy hearts. Whichever is more achievable at the moment.
Be mine: An invitation to slavery.
--Me: It's either misprinted or your friend has turned into a small pink candy heart.
So fine: As apposed to "so moderate" or "so acceptable." Fine is passable. But being so fine might mean that you are "good" status.
Awe
Some: They are disappointed that you only give them some...
For you: But if you give it to someone else it will be for them, but the words won't change. This heart is a skank.
(heart) of gold: It's not. Pawn shops won't accept it as gold. Trust me.
Be true: Or, a unpopular alternative-"Don't be not true."
Be my hero: That's a little demanding, don't you think? Was it Zoe on Serenity who said, "You know who a hero is? Someone who gets people killed." Now, "be my geek" I could do.
Fax me: I've tried it. Faxing a candy heart is almost as impossible as pawning one off for gold.
Love her: Who? Her. Who? HER! Oh.
IM me: Either a call to instant message you or stating that the heart is actually sentient, "I'm me"
Magic: It's not.
All star: A heart with an identity crisis.
One kiss: Low expectations.
Wise up: Another cheap way to say "I hate you."
Whiz kid: Bladder control issues.
Sweet talk: Stupid pun.
Be Good: But not great.
Love you: Please masturbate regularly.
Ask me: It's four.
Ura Star: I don't know who she is either.