Routine Routine Routine.
On my journey (7 hours from friends flat to door at home in england) back from Paris (i'll write about that little trip in a few paragraphs), i had an epiphany of sorts, more of a realization that if you don't drag yourself forward, forcefully pushing yourself towards your goals, they simply ain't gonna happen.
Sat on the plane, I began writing a list of things I want to do, or, should I say, thing's i am going to do to, to make my life take the direction and path I want it to.
I'm currently at work, so don't have the list, but i've read it enough to give the jist.
1. Clear debt (£1,500 left one 1 credit card, can do it in 12 months at £35per week (not too harsh on my budget))
2. Save up 6months worth of Paris rent
3. Get my driving license
4. Get my sleeve tattoo
5. Loose weight
6. Save money for week in spain (flights paid for, just need some spending money)
7. Fix my xbox 360
8. Register with a dentist and fix my damn teeth
9. Get back into a routine with my martial arts (I've not been in nearly 3 weeks, my instructor even text me to ask if i'd packed it in)
10. Fix my 'new' £2,000 computer (the mobo was delivered broken, but i was too busy wallowing in self pity to get off my arse and sort an RMA)
11. Sell my old computer for £300-400.
12. Visit Paris for a weekend of partying before my spain holiday.
In two years I want to have achieved all of this, and more.
In spring 2013 I'm going to move to Paris for a minimum of 6 months. In spring 2013, I will be a qualified muay thai and keysi instructor, I will have the body (physically, mentally and artistically (tattoos)) that I have worked hard to achieve. I will be able to smile with confidence. I will be fluent in french.
Thing's in my day to day life aren't fulfilling, sure, I have a job, I have a nice room at home full of at least £6000 worth of gadgetry, and i'm greatful for all of that, I saw quite alot of people sleeping rough in the metro stations in Paris, but, my life just feels empty, I don't feel like there's any purpose in it and it drives me crazy.
I contemplated joining the army, but I hate the idea of killing people for reasons that i might not agree with or even know about.
I've decided I can dig myself out of depression by identifying things that I desire, and planning step by step how to obtain them.
Apologies for the rambling/rant, but I have to get my thoughts out.
I've taken the first step with my tattoo. I've booked in for next Tuesday to get my wrist tattoo'd, it will be the first part of my full sleeve. I figure, even if it costs me a little more, if i get it done in little steps, I will see things progressing, it'll make me happier and it'll push me forward to get the rest finished.
So, a week in Paris.
In short, I went to 2 huge club nights, one on a boat!, another underground. I also went to a combichrist gig and spent a good many evenings in the few metal bars that exist in Paris. The reason I love it so much is pretty simple. I have tonnes of friends over there, I make 5-10 more every visit and the metal/gothic scene of that city fits my style so much more than here in Birmingham. Not to mention, there are girls over there who talk to me, dance with me and very occasionally kiss me :)
No such luck this visit however, the girl i'd taken back to a hotel a visit before has a boyfriend, and another girl who was dancing with me all night, very closely, revealed she had a boyfriend at about 4am. Nevermind, i'm not after a relationship with a girl in Paris yet anyway, distance would destroy it before it had begun.
I am however going to attempt to go to a few EBM nights in Birmingham (there is 1 a month), and truely, i've never been to one, so i should check it out.
30 minutes of work left, very little motivation remaining for this week.
Plan for the weekend:
Buy 3 a4 picture frames for my 2 muay thai and 1 unframed keysi certificates that are sat gathering dust.
Clean out, bath and give some attention to my bearded dragons, i've been neglecting them. (Pictures of them may appear)
Clean my room, and file all my bank statements and phone bill stuff.
Go to Muay Thai Boxing on sunday morning at 10am.
Plan my diet for the next 6months, fat loss. muscle gain.
Sat on the plane, I began writing a list of things I want to do, or, should I say, thing's i am going to do to, to make my life take the direction and path I want it to.
I'm currently at work, so don't have the list, but i've read it enough to give the jist.
1. Clear debt (£1,500 left one 1 credit card, can do it in 12 months at £35per week (not too harsh on my budget))
2. Save up 6months worth of Paris rent
3. Get my driving license
4. Get my sleeve tattoo
5. Loose weight
6. Save money for week in spain (flights paid for, just need some spending money)
7. Fix my xbox 360
8. Register with a dentist and fix my damn teeth
9. Get back into a routine with my martial arts (I've not been in nearly 3 weeks, my instructor even text me to ask if i'd packed it in)
10. Fix my 'new' £2,000 computer (the mobo was delivered broken, but i was too busy wallowing in self pity to get off my arse and sort an RMA)
11. Sell my old computer for £300-400.
12. Visit Paris for a weekend of partying before my spain holiday.
In two years I want to have achieved all of this, and more.
In spring 2013 I'm going to move to Paris for a minimum of 6 months. In spring 2013, I will be a qualified muay thai and keysi instructor, I will have the body (physically, mentally and artistically (tattoos)) that I have worked hard to achieve. I will be able to smile with confidence. I will be fluent in french.
Thing's in my day to day life aren't fulfilling, sure, I have a job, I have a nice room at home full of at least £6000 worth of gadgetry, and i'm greatful for all of that, I saw quite alot of people sleeping rough in the metro stations in Paris, but, my life just feels empty, I don't feel like there's any purpose in it and it drives me crazy.
I contemplated joining the army, but I hate the idea of killing people for reasons that i might not agree with or even know about.
I've decided I can dig myself out of depression by identifying things that I desire, and planning step by step how to obtain them.
Apologies for the rambling/rant, but I have to get my thoughts out.
I've taken the first step with my tattoo. I've booked in for next Tuesday to get my wrist tattoo'd, it will be the first part of my full sleeve. I figure, even if it costs me a little more, if i get it done in little steps, I will see things progressing, it'll make me happier and it'll push me forward to get the rest finished.
So, a week in Paris.
In short, I went to 2 huge club nights, one on a boat!, another underground. I also went to a combichrist gig and spent a good many evenings in the few metal bars that exist in Paris. The reason I love it so much is pretty simple. I have tonnes of friends over there, I make 5-10 more every visit and the metal/gothic scene of that city fits my style so much more than here in Birmingham. Not to mention, there are girls over there who talk to me, dance with me and very occasionally kiss me :)
No such luck this visit however, the girl i'd taken back to a hotel a visit before has a boyfriend, and another girl who was dancing with me all night, very closely, revealed she had a boyfriend at about 4am. Nevermind, i'm not after a relationship with a girl in Paris yet anyway, distance would destroy it before it had begun.
I am however going to attempt to go to a few EBM nights in Birmingham (there is 1 a month), and truely, i've never been to one, so i should check it out.
30 minutes of work left, very little motivation remaining for this week.
Plan for the weekend:
Buy 3 a4 picture frames for my 2 muay thai and 1 unframed keysi certificates that are sat gathering dust.
Clean out, bath and give some attention to my bearded dragons, i've been neglecting them. (Pictures of them may appear)
Clean my room, and file all my bank statements and phone bill stuff.
Go to Muay Thai Boxing on sunday morning at 10am.
Plan my diet for the next 6months, fat loss. muscle gain.