So i'm still a push over.
I've not learnt any lessons, i'm still just as much as a push over as I've always been.
I'd been taking this girl I went to high school out on a few dates recently, a meal, a trip the to the cinema, an evening when I cooked and we watched tv at mine, a day out in the city etc, with the first, she gave me a peck on the cheek, by the last, she was kissing me pretty full on.
She'd been flirting with me on texts, revealed that she'd liked me since highschool (8 years ago), i'd also had a crush on her back then too.
Within a week or two, I basically let myself totally fall for her, and as usual, I just let my heart do as it pleases.
1am Thursday morning, i'm asleep in bed and I get a text message, which I sleepily read and went back to sleep, then the phone rang. She was outside, in the snow, very drunk and asking to come in. I ofcourse let her in, made her a cup of tea and wrapped a blanket around her. We went up to my room and sat on my bed (me still in my boxershorts). We sat on the bed, for some reason I put on Ace Ventura Pet Detective, and we chatted/she talked at me for 2 hours.
First she was telling me how much she liked me, and I was replying with, well I like you too you know. Then she kept trying to say she wasn't good enough for me, and started crying and explaining loads of stuff about her grandad and nan who are both dead none of which had anything to do with why she wouldn't be good for me.
Eventually she started to say she was tired, and she got undressed and into my bed, she was wearing some ddaaaamn fine underwear which she told me she'd put on incase she saw me today. Well, without going into the gory details, I didn't get to sleep until 5am, she got undressed at 3am. So I went to sleep at 5am, exhausted, and got up at 6am to go to work!
She was sobered up by 6am, and very much didn't want me to go to work, she was holding onto my waist and kissing my neck and shoulders telling me to call in sick or just not turn up to work and stay with her all night.
I went to work. I need the money, and I assumed that i'd see her this sunday (tomorrow) as we'd planned, so no biggy right?
WRONG.
Thoughout the next few days, she started being off with me, telling me how she liked me, but she wasn't good enough for me, how her ex still pesters her and she didn't want that to upset me.
Lastnight, she texts me to say she's not gonna come meet me today, and that she can't offer me a relationship right now, but she also said Never say never, I like you but i've gotta sort a few things out in my head.
The last girl that said that to me, stood me up at an airport to Paris and went back to her abusive ex boyfriend. I'm sensing dejavu.
So as usual, i've let myself be led along, completely let my guard down, let someone inside, only for them to exit stage left and leave another gaping hole in my already peppered heart.
Oh, I also got really drunk on Friday (my work night out for christmas) called my boss a cunt to his face, and then asked for a pay rise. Wondering if i'm gonna get the opposite of that come new year. Fingers crossed ay.
I'd been taking this girl I went to high school out on a few dates recently, a meal, a trip the to the cinema, an evening when I cooked and we watched tv at mine, a day out in the city etc, with the first, she gave me a peck on the cheek, by the last, she was kissing me pretty full on.
She'd been flirting with me on texts, revealed that she'd liked me since highschool (8 years ago), i'd also had a crush on her back then too.
Within a week or two, I basically let myself totally fall for her, and as usual, I just let my heart do as it pleases.
1am Thursday morning, i'm asleep in bed and I get a text message, which I sleepily read and went back to sleep, then the phone rang. She was outside, in the snow, very drunk and asking to come in. I ofcourse let her in, made her a cup of tea and wrapped a blanket around her. We went up to my room and sat on my bed (me still in my boxershorts). We sat on the bed, for some reason I put on Ace Ventura Pet Detective, and we chatted/she talked at me for 2 hours.
First she was telling me how much she liked me, and I was replying with, well I like you too you know. Then she kept trying to say she wasn't good enough for me, and started crying and explaining loads of stuff about her grandad and nan who are both dead none of which had anything to do with why she wouldn't be good for me.
Eventually she started to say she was tired, and she got undressed and into my bed, she was wearing some ddaaaamn fine underwear which she told me she'd put on incase she saw me today. Well, without going into the gory details, I didn't get to sleep until 5am, she got undressed at 3am. So I went to sleep at 5am, exhausted, and got up at 6am to go to work!
She was sobered up by 6am, and very much didn't want me to go to work, she was holding onto my waist and kissing my neck and shoulders telling me to call in sick or just not turn up to work and stay with her all night.
I went to work. I need the money, and I assumed that i'd see her this sunday (tomorrow) as we'd planned, so no biggy right?
WRONG.
Thoughout the next few days, she started being off with me, telling me how she liked me, but she wasn't good enough for me, how her ex still pesters her and she didn't want that to upset me.
Lastnight, she texts me to say she's not gonna come meet me today, and that she can't offer me a relationship right now, but she also said Never say never, I like you but i've gotta sort a few things out in my head.
The last girl that said that to me, stood me up at an airport to Paris and went back to her abusive ex boyfriend. I'm sensing dejavu.
So as usual, i've let myself be led along, completely let my guard down, let someone inside, only for them to exit stage left and leave another gaping hole in my already peppered heart.
Oh, I also got really drunk on Friday (my work night out for christmas) called my boss a cunt to his face, and then asked for a pay rise. Wondering if i'm gonna get the opposite of that come new year. Fingers crossed ay.