Worst. Mother. Ever.
Some things need to be shared with the world. This is one of them.
So we know, my love for my mother is one of those traditional on and off things. Sometimes she's awesome (like when she threw a Barnes and Noble box at my head and told me to stfu and appreciate her... said box contained the new Star Trek DVD). And sometimes, like right about now, my mother is made of wrong.
Today I made shrimp caesar wraps (ask me later on how to make those). Minding my own business, happily nomming on my dinner and watching Batman and Robin while providing awkward commentary on how Drew Barrymore looks kind of awesome as Two-Face's minion child. Then my mom sits down, cracks out the paper, and has her old people 'reading the paper leave me alone' moment. Then she hits the world section and proceeds to read an article out loud.
This article. (Or about as close to it as I can get without being in danger of losing the link.) Now, the entire time she was reading this out loud I've been informing my mother that she is, in fact, the worst mother ever and she should stop now. My mother does not care. She just keeps on reading. My older sister is basically facepalming and also informing my mother that she needs to stop.
When she is done, I've pretty much lost all my appetite and am in the process of trying very hard not to throw up. She waits about a moment, stares at the paper, and then has this epiphany.
She then asks my sister and I to kindly estimate how fat we are because she would really like a new kitchen floor.
Worst. Mother. Ever.
So we know, my love for my mother is one of those traditional on and off things. Sometimes she's awesome (like when she threw a Barnes and Noble box at my head and told me to stfu and appreciate her... said box contained the new Star Trek DVD). And sometimes, like right about now, my mother is made of wrong.
Today I made shrimp caesar wraps (ask me later on how to make those). Minding my own business, happily nomming on my dinner and watching Batman and Robin while providing awkward commentary on how Drew Barrymore looks kind of awesome as Two-Face's minion child. Then my mom sits down, cracks out the paper, and has her old people 'reading the paper leave me alone' moment. Then she hits the world section and proceeds to read an article out loud.
This article. (Or about as close to it as I can get without being in danger of losing the link.) Now, the entire time she was reading this out loud I've been informing my mother that she is, in fact, the worst mother ever and she should stop now. My mother does not care. She just keeps on reading. My older sister is basically facepalming and also informing my mother that she needs to stop.
When she is done, I've pretty much lost all my appetite and am in the process of trying very hard not to throw up. She waits about a moment, stares at the paper, and then has this epiphany.
She then asks my sister and I to kindly estimate how fat we are because she would really like a new kitchen floor.
Worst. Mother. Ever.