(no subject)

[legallybl1nd]

so, i have two weeks left at samaritan. it's got me really depressed. first off, i never thought i would make it to this point. i just came down here to meet brian. now i don't know what to do. i wish i would have just done my 28 days and left so i wouldn't get attached to living here. i didn't expect things to go this well for me. i have a good job that i love and i don't want to give up on it. but i want to go back to clarksville so bad. cj, my counselor, wants me to go to a halfway house. i was considering it and staying until my probation was over. but honestly i'm tired of all these rules and people telling me what to do all the time, and i'm trying to save money for court and school fees but i can't when i have to pay rent. andi left yesterday and i'm so sad. i'm all alone in my room and i feel like i have no one to talk to. i don't know what i'm going to do. i want to go to clarksville and drive to my job but i know i'd get tired of that quickly. i just, want things to go my way when i want and it can't be that way. this is just a weird time in my life. but i don't think things will work out the way i want them to. the thought of brian haunts me and he is really the only reason why i'd stay. but that isn't going to go my way either. i just need to pray about it. i miss seth so much. i miss my house. i miss partying. but it can never be that way again. someone please save me.

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