(no subject)
i'm done with trying to please you. i'm going to do what i want and if i fuck up, oh well i fuck up. i'm the one that has to live with my mistakes, not you. so quit trying to act like you know what's best for me when you have no idea. you say i don't care. i'm sorry? yeah it sucks your life is slowly getting flushed down the toilet. but i don't know what you expect me to do for you. if i knew i could help you, i wouldn't hesitate. but i'm too weak. i have my own internal problems to take care of without having to add the stress of worrying about yours. ok i'm sorry you never dreamed i would grow up to be a slowly growing alcoholic, but that's life. maybe if you wouldn't have put me through all those things for YOUR sake, i'd probably be a different person today. it sucks i have to push myself to do every little thing. i hate getting up in the morning and having no drive to do anything. it's sad i'd rather waste away then try to make something of myself. but if i do ever try again, it's going to be because I want to. not because i'm tired of listening to you nag at me constantly. i wish you'd stop blaming yourself and do what i do and take responsibility for your own actions. YOU'RE the one that's about to lose your house, YOU'RE the one that's about to lose your car, YOU'RE the one that agreed with all of this in divorce creed and now YOU'RE wishing you would have stood up for yourself. so stop yelling and fussing at me and alex because this is YOUR doing. i wish i could leave, turn around and not have to worry about making you happy all the time. but i can't. i have to sit here through all your shit and get blamed because i don't "care." WELL I'M SO FUCKING SORRY. grow the fuck up.