"Most of us think ourselves as standing wearily and helplessly at the center of a circle,...
...bristling with tasks, burdens, problems, annoyance, and responsibilities which are rushing in upon us. At every moment we have a dozen different things to do, a dozen problems to solve, a dozen strains to endure. We see ourselves as overdriven, overburdened, overtired. This is a common mental picture and it is totally false. No one of us, however crowded his life, has such an existence. What is the true picture of your life? Imagine that there is an hour glass on your desk. Connecting the bowl at the top with the bowl at the bottom is a tube so thin that only one grain of sand can pass through it at a time. That is the true picture of your life, even on a super busy day, The crowded hours come to you always one moment at a time. That is the only way they can come. The day may bring many tasks, many problems, strains, but invariably they come in single file. You want to gain emotional poise? Remember the hourglass, the grains of sand dropping one by one.
James Gordon Gilkey
Yeah, so that was quite a long quote, but eh, what're you gonna do?
I've been pretty emotional lately. Not like I cry at the the drop of the hat or anything, just like mood swingy. It's really kind of getting me down. I don't like it. And because of it, I haven't been treating people the way I should be. I haven't been a huge bitch to anyone, but certain people I just haven't been the nicest to. Like Dana. I hurt her feelings yesterday, and I didn't even know I was doing it. I just didn't really think, but I guess it got to her, and the minute I saw her after class she told me that I had hurt her, and I felt so bad. Dana is one of my best friends, and I don't want to hurt her. I know most people are thinking, "Well, so, you accidentally hurt one person, big deal." But Dana's just one example. It seems like I'm pissing people off real easily lately, and I don't even mean to. I hate it. Also, past relationships which I really considered to be pretty good are kind of starting to fade, and that makes me sad. I really like these people, but it seems like lately they've been distant or something. I don't know. I know I'm not just being paranoid, which I'm sure some of you are thinking. I'm just so sick of it all. I want to go back to always being happy. Believe it or not, there was a time. And every summer, it comes back when I'm at camp, but at home it just seems to go in and out. And unfortunately, it seems to be out more that it's in. It's not like I'm mortally depressed and I'm going to kill myself or anything, I'm just not happy very often. And I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I just had to get it out. My friend says that I should start a writing journal, because it will help me release my emotions. But I don't think it will. I hate writing, so I think I would just dread it. He says that LiveJournal doesn't count because I'm not physically writing. Hmmm. Oh well. Hopefully this slump will pass. But I have a feeling it won't. I've been in it pretty much since all last year, with the exception of the summer. Everything's just too stressful. Well, not everything, just some things. Oh man. I'm definately ready for this to be over. I've had my fill of stupid teenage angst (sp?). I should be done!
James Gordon Gilkey
Yeah, so that was quite a long quote, but eh, what're you gonna do?
I've been pretty emotional lately. Not like I cry at the the drop of the hat or anything, just like mood swingy. It's really kind of getting me down. I don't like it. And because of it, I haven't been treating people the way I should be. I haven't been a huge bitch to anyone, but certain people I just haven't been the nicest to. Like Dana. I hurt her feelings yesterday, and I didn't even know I was doing it. I just didn't really think, but I guess it got to her, and the minute I saw her after class she told me that I had hurt her, and I felt so bad. Dana is one of my best friends, and I don't want to hurt her. I know most people are thinking, "Well, so, you accidentally hurt one person, big deal." But Dana's just one example. It seems like I'm pissing people off real easily lately, and I don't even mean to. I hate it. Also, past relationships which I really considered to be pretty good are kind of starting to fade, and that makes me sad. I really like these people, but it seems like lately they've been distant or something. I don't know. I know I'm not just being paranoid, which I'm sure some of you are thinking. I'm just so sick of it all. I want to go back to always being happy. Believe it or not, there was a time. And every summer, it comes back when I'm at camp, but at home it just seems to go in and out. And unfortunately, it seems to be out more that it's in. It's not like I'm mortally depressed and I'm going to kill myself or anything, I'm just not happy very often. And I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I just had to get it out. My friend says that I should start a writing journal, because it will help me release my emotions. But I don't think it will. I hate writing, so I think I would just dread it. He says that LiveJournal doesn't count because I'm not physically writing. Hmmm. Oh well. Hopefully this slump will pass. But I have a feeling it won't. I've been in it pretty much since all last year, with the exception of the summer. Everything's just too stressful. Well, not everything, just some things. Oh man. I'm definately ready for this to be over. I've had my fill of stupid teenage angst (sp?). I should be done!