(no subject)
I got in a huge fight with my sister today.
You may think it'd be difficult to fight with someone when they're on a different continent, and you haven't seen them in about eight months... but it's not. It's painfully, heart-breakingly easy.
Only afterward, once you've shut down Skype and AIM and facebook chat, once you've logged out of all your various email accounts and every other means of instant communication she could use to throw in that ever lusted over last word, you realize: yes, I've made my point. I won this argument. She can't get at me now. She can't say anything else that hurts. Followed shortly thereafter by: and that's because she's thousands of miles away, hurting too, with no way to make this better. No way to pick up the phone and say, "I'm sorry. Clearly we're both just really upset." You can't go out for coffee and talk it out, because she's really-fucking-far-away, and will be until August.
And then you feel like shit, and you log back in to Skype and AIM and facebook chat, you log back in to all your various email accounts and every other means of instant communication... and there isn't anything there. And you realize that this is not a victory. This is a fucking tragedy. And there isn't a goddamn thing you can do about it, because clearly she has shut off her computer--your only international means of contact--and you can't even call her because you don't have a land line, and international cell phone rates are astronomical.
This is the part where you cry until you vomit.
When I figure out what happens next, I'll let you know.
You may think it'd be difficult to fight with someone when they're on a different continent, and you haven't seen them in about eight months... but it's not. It's painfully, heart-breakingly easy.
Only afterward, once you've shut down Skype and AIM and facebook chat, once you've logged out of all your various email accounts and every other means of instant communication she could use to throw in that ever lusted over last word, you realize: yes, I've made my point. I won this argument. She can't get at me now. She can't say anything else that hurts. Followed shortly thereafter by: and that's because she's thousands of miles away, hurting too, with no way to make this better. No way to pick up the phone and say, "I'm sorry. Clearly we're both just really upset." You can't go out for coffee and talk it out, because she's really-fucking-far-away, and will be until August.
And then you feel like shit, and you log back in to Skype and AIM and facebook chat, you log back in to all your various email accounts and every other means of instant communication... and there isn't anything there. And you realize that this is not a victory. This is a fucking tragedy. And there isn't a goddamn thing you can do about it, because clearly she has shut off her computer--your only international means of contact--and you can't even call her because you don't have a land line, and international cell phone rates are astronomical.
This is the part where you cry until you vomit.
When I figure out what happens next, I'll let you know.