Fucked Up
One more that I found and messed around with from that Gallows show
Also, on monday it was 4 years since I decided not to drink and shit anymore - this is what I said last year
"Last Wednesday was my three year ‘anniversary’ of being straight edge. Now everyone who knows me knows that I’m straight edge; and about four of them know why (besides the obvious reasons). I try not to preach about it anymore, I don’t ‘X’ up, I don’t wear loads of sXe merch, my email isn’t xtruextillxdeathx - I calmed down about it, no one wants that shoved in there face (although l clearly still lapse into it sometimes). My reasoning behind this used to follow that I didn’t care what anyone did to themselves, it was a choice made for myself - But sometimes the whole thing sickens me. The knock on effect of this meaning that I generally hate parties, even with my best friends, and I usually dislike clubs; I just don't fell comfortable places that seem specifically designed to be at odds with my beliefs. It makes me feel a little naïve sometimes or at least feel that people see me that way - how I am shocked or appalled by drug use, how I talk like it makes you a worse person or something. I’ve become far more judgemental over the past few years, and yeah maybe sometimes I do think I’m better than some of you, but mainly it’s because of shit that people give me for not wanting to get drunk, pop pills, and fuck strangers. Oh yeah, I know that I could just do stuff in moderation, but I don’t want to - these years have been the best of my life and I wouldn’t change it for the world."
I still feel much the same, maybe more mellow about it all; but still slightly at odds with stuff. I'd take out the 'better than you' stuff now, because why the fuck would I have the right to judge you for what is pretty much an accepted part of life. No one I know is edge, and the ones I used to know have given it up and that kind of bums me out - but it isn't that big a deal really, personal choice and all that, if it's not right for you then fuck it.
I know that it is right for me.