"Overreacting"
[April 2010 prompt :: “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." --Maria Robinson]
(06-03-03)
"I swear to god, Rachel, if you say one more word, I'm leaving and taking the baby with me."
The slamming of the bungalow door still echoes faintly in my ears, tremors dancing along the nerves in my arm. Studiously ignoring the gazebo that is so much a part of our life together, I let my feet lead me wherever they want to go while still within the protection of the Ranch.
The fight replays itself in my mind, stuck eternally on repeat, until I'm ready to scream at the futility of it all. We've been through so much together in the last seven years, but I just can't handle the mood swings she's had since beginning to work on her magic again. Disgust overwhelms me at the idea that I could be blaming Rachel for her frustrations at trying to do something now that I did as a child. At the same time, she needs to learn that she'll have setbacks, and she can't take them out on the rest of the family, particularly me.
Child, don't you be tellin' no lies now.
Glancing up in surprise, I can see the faintest outline of a familiar, beloved face before me. "Gramma Rose?"
Her broad smile eases my mind, and I can almost feel her hand stroking down my hair to cup my cheek. Before I really realize what I'm doing, words come tumbling out as I confess everything causing me pain and fear right now. Only when the words stop, replaced by soft sobs and tears, does she speak again.
Babies and magic make for strange bedfellows, child. And you off your cycles for the first time in your life gonna make that worse. Never go to bed angry, Alex, you know better.
And she's right. I do know better. This whole situation with Rachel learning to use her latent abilities on top of trying to get me pregnant is wreaking havoc on both of us. But when I go to thank her, the apparition of my grandmother is already gone.
Taking a deep breath, I make the walk back to our bungalow in silence. The sight of Rachel sitting in the porch swing, nursing a mug of tea, nearly brings tears to my eyes. The almost imperceptible squaring of her shoulders is the only indication that she's acknowledged my presence. I stand there for a moment, just watching her, before I take another deep breath and settle onto the swing next to her.
"I'm sorry," I whisper raggedly.
She doesn't say anything, just hands me a mug of tea. The scent is comforting, but the first sip soothes even more as the chamomile and raspberry leaf flavors roll across my tongue. My eyes close as the tea warms me up.
"I overreacted and took it out on you." The words aren't exactly what I'd planned to start with, but they need to be said. "I'm so sorry, Rachel."
"So am I, love. So am I."
Her arm wraps around me, pulling me close, and now the tears can't be stopped. Her hand smoothes down my back repeatedly, accompanied by the gentle murmuring of words I don't quite understand. Time passes without comprehension as I soak up the love and affection my dearest love offers me.
"Once you've had some rest, we'll talk," she replies eventually. "I'm not mad, but we do need to talk. But for now we can wait."
(06-03-03)
"I swear to god, Rachel, if you say one more word, I'm leaving and taking the baby with me."
The slamming of the bungalow door still echoes faintly in my ears, tremors dancing along the nerves in my arm. Studiously ignoring the gazebo that is so much a part of our life together, I let my feet lead me wherever they want to go while still within the protection of the Ranch.
The fight replays itself in my mind, stuck eternally on repeat, until I'm ready to scream at the futility of it all. We've been through so much together in the last seven years, but I just can't handle the mood swings she's had since beginning to work on her magic again. Disgust overwhelms me at the idea that I could be blaming Rachel for her frustrations at trying to do something now that I did as a child. At the same time, she needs to learn that she'll have setbacks, and she can't take them out on the rest of the family, particularly me.
Child, don't you be tellin' no lies now.
Glancing up in surprise, I can see the faintest outline of a familiar, beloved face before me. "Gramma Rose?"
Her broad smile eases my mind, and I can almost feel her hand stroking down my hair to cup my cheek. Before I really realize what I'm doing, words come tumbling out as I confess everything causing me pain and fear right now. Only when the words stop, replaced by soft sobs and tears, does she speak again.
Babies and magic make for strange bedfellows, child. And you off your cycles for the first time in your life gonna make that worse. Never go to bed angry, Alex, you know better.
And she's right. I do know better. This whole situation with Rachel learning to use her latent abilities on top of trying to get me pregnant is wreaking havoc on both of us. But when I go to thank her, the apparition of my grandmother is already gone.
Taking a deep breath, I make the walk back to our bungalow in silence. The sight of Rachel sitting in the porch swing, nursing a mug of tea, nearly brings tears to my eyes. The almost imperceptible squaring of her shoulders is the only indication that she's acknowledged my presence. I stand there for a moment, just watching her, before I take another deep breath and settle onto the swing next to her.
"I'm sorry," I whisper raggedly.
She doesn't say anything, just hands me a mug of tea. The scent is comforting, but the first sip soothes even more as the chamomile and raspberry leaf flavors roll across my tongue. My eyes close as the tea warms me up.
"I overreacted and took it out on you." The words aren't exactly what I'd planned to start with, but they need to be said. "I'm so sorry, Rachel."
"So am I, love. So am I."
Her arm wraps around me, pulling me close, and now the tears can't be stopped. Her hand smoothes down my back repeatedly, accompanied by the gentle murmuring of words I don't quite understand. Time passes without comprehension as I soak up the love and affection my dearest love offers me.
"Once you've had some rest, we'll talk," she replies eventually. "I'm not mad, but we do need to talk. But for now we can wait."