(no subject)
I spent all day today at the apartment. It was the first time I had been there in a while, and the first minute spent in there reminded me why I left. I talked to the manager yesterday, and he said that he wanted me to go get all of my stuff out even though I wasn't supposed to be there.
I can't even explain how bad it was. There are holes in the walls, the carpet went from beige to BLACK, doors were taken off, there was rotten food everywhere, puke in the bathroom sink, condom wrappers everywhere I turned, tons of beer bottles...it looked like something that would be on tv. The fact that I had to be the one to clean all this made me sick, but I have no choice really. All of Craig's stuff was still in his room, and the last thing I wanted to do was touch anything that had to do with him.
....But I can't get around it. It killed me. Everything I came across was a kick in the face, because I hate the way that I CAN'T hate him. He is the perfect example of the way that hate and love are one in the same, when it comes down to it. Fuck extremes.
He is so upset about me moving, and I wouldn't be surprised if this is all an attempt to keep me here. His loss, not mine.
The manager said that he wasn't going to put this on my credit, or hold me accountable for anything that I would be at fault for 'by law' because he knows the truth.
And it's not right.
I have been so lonely lately, I don't really know what to do with myself. And the fact that I haven't been able to sleep doesn't exactly help with anything.
Come on, stability.
I can't even explain how bad it was. There are holes in the walls, the carpet went from beige to BLACK, doors were taken off, there was rotten food everywhere, puke in the bathroom sink, condom wrappers everywhere I turned, tons of beer bottles...it looked like something that would be on tv. The fact that I had to be the one to clean all this made me sick, but I have no choice really. All of Craig's stuff was still in his room, and the last thing I wanted to do was touch anything that had to do with him.
....But I can't get around it. It killed me. Everything I came across was a kick in the face, because I hate the way that I CAN'T hate him. He is the perfect example of the way that hate and love are one in the same, when it comes down to it. Fuck extremes.
He is so upset about me moving, and I wouldn't be surprised if this is all an attempt to keep me here. His loss, not mine.
The manager said that he wasn't going to put this on my credit, or hold me accountable for anything that I would be at fault for 'by law' because he knows the truth.
And it's not right.
I have been so lonely lately, I don't really know what to do with myself. And the fact that I haven't been able to sleep doesn't exactly help with anything.
Come on, stability.