(no subject)
My heart has started racing again... it used to do this more so in middle school but it only happened once or twice a year, now its happened three times in the last month! And the first two times were at work while I was on the register and the second time it hurt so bad I started crying... It was really embarrassing... I wish I knew what was wrong, I mean, I’m sure its nothing but I don’t like to have stuff just wrong and there be no cause for it. That’s what usually happens to me though, when I get sick, or like, the chronic cough I have... there’s no cause I just get this stuff. I went to the doctor a couple years ago when this happened a lot more often and they did a bunch of tests but they could never figure out what was wrong and they said the only way was to wear a heart monitor, like the things old people wear incase they have heart attacks and cant get a phone... but it was like 100 dollars a day or something ridiculous like that! Fuck no. Plus it used to happen every six months so it really wasn’t worth it...
In other news I’m failing Geology and its awesome. Because its like the easiest class ever and I feel like a freaking idiot! I just don’t give a shit about school anymore and I wanna just go to work and play with my cat and hangout with my boyfriend. I hate college and responsibility and my family. Just get it over with! But everything is so hard and it takes so long.. But I cant support myself on $9 an hour.. And I was gonna get a B for sure in English 201 (writing the research paper) but we had to do this group project and my group was pretty good and I wrote most of our paper and then they added in their stuff and I figured we'd get a B because I get B's on all my papers for this class, but this one girl had her college professor boyfriend read it and he like.. rewrote it and yeah it sounded great but it didn’t fit the assignment well enough so we got a seventy fucking three! And my papers have all been 83 to 85 range and I recently missed an assignment and if I get a C in this class because of this fucking girl and her dumbass boyfriend thinking he’s some incredible genius I’m going to have to kill her! I’m pissed! Any idiot could write a B paper for this class as long as they write according to the assignment! Goddamn.
On the bright side I spent Friday to this evening at Chad’s house and it was wonderful. I love my boyfriend and my job and my cat and my Laura and that’s all I need in my life. In fact if I never had to drive anywhere or leave his house I'd be just fine. I am addicted to indoor tanning though :p that’s an expensive problem! And I wanna take a bunch of friends to Chelan this summer and play in the water and sweet crap like that! And by a bunch of friends I mean like.. Chad, Skot, and Laura, haha, maybe Sara but not her boyfriend cause he’s a fucking loser! Mmm and maybe our cats :p
I don’t know... all I know is I’m happy without all this extra shit everyone keeps telling me I need, and what if I decide I don’t need it and I wanna live my life however I wanna live it? Then what. I don’t think it’s the end of the world. And it’s not like I don’t have plenty of time to decide.