weekends ups and downs
So friday was fun. I went to the anything's show and got to see candice and tiffany and some other people i hadnt seen ina while. it was grand. sara castillo and i got free desert from an italian bakery and then free water from subway. i had some trouble keeping warm all night. then i went with travis, big mike, collin, and doug to FIRST FRIDAY and met up with kris, libby, sara, and the rest of the crew there. we just hung out in two spots the whole time but it was fun. libby sang on the lil set dealio. she was amazing. and then travis and them brought me home. it was a good night. talked to brandon on the phone fer a bit. saturday. did nothing. i hoped he woulda been able to come down but didnt. so i just sat around and made clothes all day as brandon helplessly tried to find a way down here. then i got dressed and went to go run some erands with mom. then came home and watched my best friends wedding. someone trying to steal someone elses man. i hate girls like that. and ... ok nvm ima stop there. brandon and i got in a fight becuase for the first time since i've known him i thought he was being selfish. he fucked me over and i felt he wasnt working with me... or even trying to work with me. he'll never be able to see where i am coming from...i HOPE he never has to see where i am coming from. especially if its me who screws up and is the reason he has to see hwere i am coming from. im just so confused and cant understand how someone could do this to someone they love. i hope things will get better... he says they will sometimes but othertimes hes just like break up with me. god and guys thought girls were confusing?!?!?! at least girls can express they're emotions and how they're feeling. all guys have is "i dont know". andl ast night was the first time i havent called him in like 8 months. we have always talked to eachother every night. and yes it was because i was so pissed and becauase i was terrified. im venting right now in case you can't tell so suck it up. i have a huge headache from crying all day from all sorts of reasons. i really miss having someones shoulder to cry on, and have someone to hold me, and kiss my forhead and tell me its all going to be ok. im so fucking sad. im glad my sister was home. she gave me a hug and let me cry and let me vent some more. ok im just going to shutup aobut all that now. im supposed to go look for a job wendesday and on monday and tuesday i have to stay after school to make up drivers ed time. whatev.
i just want to roll over and die
or just roll over lying next to him and have things be good.
i hate girls
"PRETTY GIRLS MAKE GRAVES, but girls who fuck other people's boyriends... LYE in them." -me
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