"He looks an awful lot like that Jesus guy"
In honor of how CBS names their The Amazing Race episodes, I thought I'd pull a choice quote from the night to sum up our two babes in the woods experience with seeing Scott in the touring company of Jesus Christ Superstar.
Let's picture if you will establishing shots of me admiring myself in a fun house mirror type column outside of Grand Central station wherein I suddenly gained about 6 inches in height and lost 100 more lbs, while waiting for my teammate to arrive. During the last leg of our trip we'd made our way through the hustling, bustling streets of Times Square to look for a route marker outside of Tony's DiNapoli restaurant where our next clue in the form of carnimiriel would be found. Once there the team ripped open it's clue which read "the wait time for a table is approximately 40 minutes, but by 40 minutes we really mean an hour because our food owns your fat asses for life." It was not an arduous task but it was meant for contestants with a strong constitution. Luckily we're all champion eaters and managed to scarf down 6lbs. of rigatoni, 4lbs. of chicken cutlets, 2lbs. of stuffed mushrooms and 1lb. of Coldstone's Creamery, each. The team member with the crappiest commute home may be eliminated. Fortunately for me it was a non-elimination round and I managed to stick around for the Connecticut leg of the race. Alas the brave, strong Ruby was sidelined by ticket issues, namely not having one to JCS and her time on the journey came to an end. After a teary farewell wherein she reminded the entire viewing audience how much she'd learned about herself and the world around her on her trip, it was time for the credits.
Roll not so funny poses outside of a random Times Square corner with various cameras to capture the memory.
After a mandatory rest period where the team members got a chance to eat, sleep and mingle with the family members they rarely get to see these days, and did I mention eat and use the fancy schmancy bathroom at one of the East Side hotels with automatic soap dispensers, Team MadeofTrisky had a departing time of 5:37 P.M. As the fetching Gina and Tracee, whom the entire audience would no doubt fall in love with, calmly and patiently waited on line at the train station for their tickets they were rudely pushed to the back by two old women who jumped ahead of them in line. Thankfully their good natured sense of humor took over despite Tracee loudly announcing "I'm so glad we WAITED in line" so the rude nasties could hear her. After being given about $100 between them for this leg of the race, they almost fell over and needed medical attention when the ticket lady announced the total price of their tickets was $37 for a round trip ride. She was most unhelpful with directions, instead forcing them to another booth for information. The kind gentleman pointed out the flags and the fact that the train departed the station in less than 2 minutes, on a track all the way downstairs. Roll shots of Gina and Tracee sprinting and huffing and puffing down the stairs in search of Track 106 with the train conductor lady yelling at us to hurry it up, last boarding call but not before the very observant Gina stopped to make sure we were on the right train. Quick cut editing to scowling local bitch in corner of seat who sulked when Team MadeofTrisky decided to sit next to her, because her fake Chanel wearing, Connecticut living ass thought she'd have three seats to herself. After re-reading the clue to make sure they were headed in the right direction, Gina once again established with the male conductor that they were on the right train, apparently not trusting the first two people who had told her so, nor her teammate. Imagine Tracee's Jonathan like reaction of "YOU ARE SO STUPID! WE AREN'T COMING IN SECOND AGAIN" but without the "YOU ARE SO STUPID! WE AREN'T COMING IN SECOND AGAIN" part.
Whilst on the choo-choo train there were many beautiful shots of passing communities, except that it was pitch black and they all looked alike and given their mastery of the game thus far, Tracee and Gina were unable to establish whether a lot of these communities were located in New York or Connecticut, as their sense of direction is stellar and unsurpassed.
Upon arrival in Connecticut and after trying to get some help from the locals, Team MadeofTrisky finally caught a break when a traveler in a hurry told them that the landmark they were seeking out, The Palace Theater, was located "that way" with a point, but with no actual establishing estimate of how far "that way" was. Using their nomadic spirit and their vast resources of instinctual deduction they took off "that way" on foot. On the way they passed through the local community admiring the architecture and cleanliness. Seeing as how they were on foreign terrain they were not used to the mud, and squealed like stuck pigs when almost sinking in it. With the guidance of a Connecticut state bus driver they were able to find their way to the next routemarker, encountering a Detour. A detour is a choice between two tasks Target or Theater, in the first task, Target teams must walk themselves to the local Target and amass great amounts of goods with little money. There's nothing hard about this task but the latenight phone call asking for money thanks to the $2.57 between them might be awkward. In the second task, Theater, teams can choose to take in a performance of Jesus Christ Superstar featuring a familiar face. There's no threat of embarrassment involved, but it could take a long time. Being the lazy ass chickens who don't want to explore Connecticut that they are, Team MadeofTrisky chose Theater. The hours of operation were 8:00 to 10:30 which left them with some time to soak up the local culture. Unaccustomed to strangers being kind they marveled at how they'd never let someone take their picture for them in NYC.
Since Gina is the giving one she allowed Tracee to use $2.50 of their paltry money to donate to the local theater refreshment fund, for a can of Pepsi worth $.75 cents otherwise. Imagine shots of hot chorus boys in tank tops shaking their asses set to the soundtrack of Jesus Christ Superstar with closeups on Scott Allgauer preventing himself from sliding off the stage into the orchestra pit, thereby preventing the possibility of a second nearly disastrous fall that day. Team MadeofTrisky took Theater in with smiles and delight lighting up their faces and Tracee leaned over to Gina at one point during the show while the actor playing Jesus was singing and said "He looks an awful lot like that Jesus guy." Thankfully they were far back enough in the theater that they didn't disturb anyone with their laughter. Team Jesus was befallen by the weakest link of their team playing the lead role of Jesus, but managed to redeem themselves beautifully with the actors playing Judas and Mary Magdalene whose bosoms didn't get in the way of her running around on stage which was quite the feat. After a standing ovation for Team Slut Chorus Boys they completed their task and ran for the cluebox containing the clue for the next task on the race, finding Scott Allgauer after the show in the bitter Connecticut cold. Though logic would have you believe he would exit the door marked "Stage Door," he in fact didn't, but rather found a shortcut which Team MadeofTrisky finally managed to find. Offering up his body warmth by way of hugs they congratulated him on a task well performed and established their next course of action. Needing fuel in the form of pizza after a grueling two hour task he went off to find some and Team MadeofTrisky found their way back to the roadblock. A roadblock is a task that only one team member can perform, in this roadblock that team member must defend their team with life and limb and a pink umbrella. Gina took the roadblock for Team MadeofTrisky threatening any suspicious looking types with her pink umbrella and girly running skills, while Tracee rolled her eyes excessively. At the choo-choo train, Team Slut Chorus Boys managed to catch up, running for the train like madmen but stopping on the stairs upon realizing that Team MadeofTrisky was not boarding and then waving in a very goofy way at Tracee as if she hadn't noticed them to start with.
At the entrance of the choo choo train the teams went their seperate ways since both Gina and Scott required sitting forward in the direction the train was moving so as not to have motion sickness. While chitter chattering away, Gina and Tracee were interrupted by a member of Team Slut Chorus Boys, Scott who conquered his fear of sitting backwards by sitting his ass next to Tracee and making the time on the train pass by with good humor and cheer and interesting stories/opinions, none of which this production of The Amazing Race will show you because they have more class than the rest of the reality shows which live for backstabbing and not good old fashioned fun. At the pit stop it was a race for the mat with Team MadeofTrisky nosing out Team Slut Chorus Boys by a hair and making their way to Grand Central Station first and back to the hustle and bustle of Times Square.
In scenes from next week's episodes Team MadeofTrisky continue their madcap race around the world, taking assy pictures of themselves and running into random people wherever they go!
Let's picture if you will establishing shots of me admiring myself in a fun house mirror type column outside of Grand Central station wherein I suddenly gained about 6 inches in height and lost 100 more lbs, while waiting for my teammate to arrive. During the last leg of our trip we'd made our way through the hustling, bustling streets of Times Square to look for a route marker outside of Tony's DiNapoli restaurant where our next clue in the form of carnimiriel would be found. Once there the team ripped open it's clue which read "the wait time for a table is approximately 40 minutes, but by 40 minutes we really mean an hour because our food owns your fat asses for life." It was not an arduous task but it was meant for contestants with a strong constitution. Luckily we're all champion eaters and managed to scarf down 6lbs. of rigatoni, 4lbs. of chicken cutlets, 2lbs. of stuffed mushrooms and 1lb. of Coldstone's Creamery, each. The team member with the crappiest commute home may be eliminated. Fortunately for me it was a non-elimination round and I managed to stick around for the Connecticut leg of the race. Alas the brave, strong Ruby was sidelined by ticket issues, namely not having one to JCS and her time on the journey came to an end. After a teary farewell wherein she reminded the entire viewing audience how much she'd learned about herself and the world around her on her trip, it was time for the credits.
Roll not so funny poses outside of a random Times Square corner with various cameras to capture the memory.
After a mandatory rest period where the team members got a chance to eat, sleep and mingle with the family members they rarely get to see these days, and did I mention eat and use the fancy schmancy bathroom at one of the East Side hotels with automatic soap dispensers, Team MadeofTrisky had a departing time of 5:37 P.M. As the fetching Gina and Tracee, whom the entire audience would no doubt fall in love with, calmly and patiently waited on line at the train station for their tickets they were rudely pushed to the back by two old women who jumped ahead of them in line. Thankfully their good natured sense of humor took over despite Tracee loudly announcing "I'm so glad we WAITED in line" so the rude nasties could hear her. After being given about $100 between them for this leg of the race, they almost fell over and needed medical attention when the ticket lady announced the total price of their tickets was $37 for a round trip ride. She was most unhelpful with directions, instead forcing them to another booth for information. The kind gentleman pointed out the flags and the fact that the train departed the station in less than 2 minutes, on a track all the way downstairs. Roll shots of Gina and Tracee sprinting and huffing and puffing down the stairs in search of Track 106 with the train conductor lady yelling at us to hurry it up, last boarding call but not before the very observant Gina stopped to make sure we were on the right train. Quick cut editing to scowling local bitch in corner of seat who sulked when Team MadeofTrisky decided to sit next to her, because her fake Chanel wearing, Connecticut living ass thought she'd have three seats to herself. After re-reading the clue to make sure they were headed in the right direction, Gina once again established with the male conductor that they were on the right train, apparently not trusting the first two people who had told her so, nor her teammate. Imagine Tracee's Jonathan like reaction of "YOU ARE SO STUPID! WE AREN'T COMING IN SECOND AGAIN" but without the "YOU ARE SO STUPID! WE AREN'T COMING IN SECOND AGAIN" part.
Whilst on the choo-choo train there were many beautiful shots of passing communities, except that it was pitch black and they all looked alike and given their mastery of the game thus far, Tracee and Gina were unable to establish whether a lot of these communities were located in New York or Connecticut, as their sense of direction is stellar and unsurpassed.
Upon arrival in Connecticut and after trying to get some help from the locals, Team MadeofTrisky finally caught a break when a traveler in a hurry told them that the landmark they were seeking out, The Palace Theater, was located "that way" with a point, but with no actual establishing estimate of how far "that way" was. Using their nomadic spirit and their vast resources of instinctual deduction they took off "that way" on foot. On the way they passed through the local community admiring the architecture and cleanliness. Seeing as how they were on foreign terrain they were not used to the mud, and squealed like stuck pigs when almost sinking in it. With the guidance of a Connecticut state bus driver they were able to find their way to the next routemarker, encountering a Detour. A detour is a choice between two tasks Target or Theater, in the first task, Target teams must walk themselves to the local Target and amass great amounts of goods with little money. There's nothing hard about this task but the latenight phone call asking for money thanks to the $2.57 between them might be awkward. In the second task, Theater, teams can choose to take in a performance of Jesus Christ Superstar featuring a familiar face. There's no threat of embarrassment involved, but it could take a long time. Being the lazy ass chickens who don't want to explore Connecticut that they are, Team MadeofTrisky chose Theater. The hours of operation were 8:00 to 10:30 which left them with some time to soak up the local culture. Unaccustomed to strangers being kind they marveled at how they'd never let someone take their picture for them in NYC.
Since Gina is the giving one she allowed Tracee to use $2.50 of their paltry money to donate to the local theater refreshment fund, for a can of Pepsi worth $.75 cents otherwise. Imagine shots of hot chorus boys in tank tops shaking their asses set to the soundtrack of Jesus Christ Superstar with closeups on Scott Allgauer preventing himself from sliding off the stage into the orchestra pit, thereby preventing the possibility of a second nearly disastrous fall that day. Team MadeofTrisky took Theater in with smiles and delight lighting up their faces and Tracee leaned over to Gina at one point during the show while the actor playing Jesus was singing and said "He looks an awful lot like that Jesus guy." Thankfully they were far back enough in the theater that they didn't disturb anyone with their laughter. Team Jesus was befallen by the weakest link of their team playing the lead role of Jesus, but managed to redeem themselves beautifully with the actors playing Judas and Mary Magdalene whose bosoms didn't get in the way of her running around on stage which was quite the feat. After a standing ovation for Team Slut Chorus Boys they completed their task and ran for the cluebox containing the clue for the next task on the race, finding Scott Allgauer after the show in the bitter Connecticut cold. Though logic would have you believe he would exit the door marked "Stage Door," he in fact didn't, but rather found a shortcut which Team MadeofTrisky finally managed to find. Offering up his body warmth by way of hugs they congratulated him on a task well performed and established their next course of action. Needing fuel in the form of pizza after a grueling two hour task he went off to find some and Team MadeofTrisky found their way back to the roadblock. A roadblock is a task that only one team member can perform, in this roadblock that team member must defend their team with life and limb and a pink umbrella. Gina took the roadblock for Team MadeofTrisky threatening any suspicious looking types with her pink umbrella and girly running skills, while Tracee rolled her eyes excessively. At the choo-choo train, Team Slut Chorus Boys managed to catch up, running for the train like madmen but stopping on the stairs upon realizing that Team MadeofTrisky was not boarding and then waving in a very goofy way at Tracee as if she hadn't noticed them to start with.
At the entrance of the choo choo train the teams went their seperate ways since both Gina and Scott required sitting forward in the direction the train was moving so as not to have motion sickness. While chitter chattering away, Gina and Tracee were interrupted by a member of Team Slut Chorus Boys, Scott who conquered his fear of sitting backwards by sitting his ass next to Tracee and making the time on the train pass by with good humor and cheer and interesting stories/opinions, none of which this production of The Amazing Race will show you because they have more class than the rest of the reality shows which live for backstabbing and not good old fashioned fun. At the pit stop it was a race for the mat with Team MadeofTrisky nosing out Team Slut Chorus Boys by a hair and making their way to Grand Central Station first and back to the hustle and bustle of Times Square.
In scenes from next week's episodes Team MadeofTrisky continue their madcap race around the world, taking assy pictures of themselves and running into random people wherever they go!