Fuckable
Our standards of attraction tend to be based on the idea that there is an extremely limited number of possible partners and is hence exclusive. This, by the numbers, cannot be true or very, very few of us would ever find a a sexual partner due to the sheer numbers of unacceptable partners. Given that there are a quite a few happy partners out there, we have assume that this is false.
A friend once remarked while she wasn't as attractive as she would prefer, she is "fuckable". I found this to a wonderfully liberating concept because it was far more inclusive than the standard model. The simple truth is given a few broad parameters, many more people are acceptable as a potential one time partner than the other model would render. In any given group of people, you will generally find more than one person that is fuckable and hence a possible closer friend. It also changes the perspective since there isn't as much of a paring down of persons based on the simplistic idea that there can be only one. If I am really honest, there are a lot of people I would not mind enjoying sexual that I might not consider under the previous model. That opens me up to a lot more experiences than I would otherwise consider. In doing so, it allows me to come into closer contact and hence, the possibility of forging a closer connection (since sexuality is the first point of consideration in any intimate relationship) with any given person. I think many of us have been surprised to find out that someone we might not have had an instant attraction for do many excellent sexual (and perhaps otherwise) partners. In fact, the more I have sex with a given person, the more I tend to like them despite whatever preconceptions I had about what I would find attractive in a sexual partner.
I knew one woman who was not conventionally attractive who had a long list of very attractive partners. Part of this was that she had specialized skills that made her desirable to certain people. These people found that in having sex with her, they became more interested in her as a person. The first place we figure out if someone is a good match is in the warm, afterglow of orgasm. I think we needlessly eliminate people by screening for physical characteristics over giving people the chance to impress us. Most of my best partners were people that I did not get the initial, overwhelming desire for but the people that I came to discover were beautiful by being sexual with them.
There are a number of people that you know that would be excellent sexual partners if given the opportunity. You might be missing out on a great deal by not giving them the chance to get naked with you. We actually live in abundance and many of us spend far too much feeling alone when there are a lot of people around us who would love to bring us happiness. I have been personally shocked to find out how many of the people I have come in contact with who would have been happy to sleep with me who didn't because they felt I wouldn't be interested. I eventually learned to directly ask people if they wanted to have sex with me without deferring to my preconceptions of "what I like". I have very few (if any) regrets about this and have found there are a lot more wonderful people than I would have thought.
Take a careful look at yourself and ask not "am I beautiful" but "am I fuckable". You might be pleasantly surprised to find out how many people agree with you.
A friend once remarked while she wasn't as attractive as she would prefer, she is "fuckable". I found this to a wonderfully liberating concept because it was far more inclusive than the standard model. The simple truth is given a few broad parameters, many more people are acceptable as a potential one time partner than the other model would render. In any given group of people, you will generally find more than one person that is fuckable and hence a possible closer friend. It also changes the perspective since there isn't as much of a paring down of persons based on the simplistic idea that there can be only one. If I am really honest, there are a lot of people I would not mind enjoying sexual that I might not consider under the previous model. That opens me up to a lot more experiences than I would otherwise consider. In doing so, it allows me to come into closer contact and hence, the possibility of forging a closer connection (since sexuality is the first point of consideration in any intimate relationship) with any given person. I think many of us have been surprised to find out that someone we might not have had an instant attraction for do many excellent sexual (and perhaps otherwise) partners. In fact, the more I have sex with a given person, the more I tend to like them despite whatever preconceptions I had about what I would find attractive in a sexual partner.
I knew one woman who was not conventionally attractive who had a long list of very attractive partners. Part of this was that she had specialized skills that made her desirable to certain people. These people found that in having sex with her, they became more interested in her as a person. The first place we figure out if someone is a good match is in the warm, afterglow of orgasm. I think we needlessly eliminate people by screening for physical characteristics over giving people the chance to impress us. Most of my best partners were people that I did not get the initial, overwhelming desire for but the people that I came to discover were beautiful by being sexual with them.
There are a number of people that you know that would be excellent sexual partners if given the opportunity. You might be missing out on a great deal by not giving them the chance to get naked with you. We actually live in abundance and many of us spend far too much feeling alone when there are a lot of people around us who would love to bring us happiness. I have been personally shocked to find out how many of the people I have come in contact with who would have been happy to sleep with me who didn't because they felt I wouldn't be interested. I eventually learned to directly ask people if they wanted to have sex with me without deferring to my preconceptions of "what I like". I have very few (if any) regrets about this and have found there are a lot more wonderful people than I would have thought.
Take a careful look at yourself and ask not "am I beautiful" but "am I fuckable". You might be pleasantly surprised to find out how many people agree with you.