this is a start.
I haven't written in awhile. And to be honest, I'm kind of nervous to. Besides doing documentation at work I haven't done very much writing these days. For months I've told myself to write my thoughts down but I've just been so tired. "I can do it later," I'd tell myself. And I'd push it off and push it off, and now I don't even no where to begin. So much has happened in the past few months. So much I want to share with you and everybody I love. My life is completely different than it was 6 months ago...even 2 months ago. I've lived in Panama, moved back to Orlando, moved back to Tally. I got a real job...the whole salary, sick leave, 401 k shit. I work with kids and teach them things and in turn, they teach me things...like patience...and at the very least, 4 times in your life you'll swallow a spider when you're sleeping.
I love what I do.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and I love him to pieces. He joined the army a few months ago and wants to be a helicopter pilot. He's in basic training now and I look forward to the day when we can actually live in the same city for more than 4 months.
Must be nice.
All of these things have changed me. For the better or worse I do not know. I feel more independent than ever. I'm living on my own, in my own apartment, that only I pay for. But at the same time, I'm still really dependent...on my parents, on Nate. I feel grown up and at the same time so young. Naive. I feel like I've lost a piece of myself somewhere along the way. I know a lot of it has to do with Nate being gone but there's something else too. I feel old. Older, anyway. I can't just call into work and drive to the beach anymore. Or miss class to go home to Orlando.
For the first time since I was five years old I wont be going to school when it starts on Monday. That amazes me. It scares me too, but it also excites me. I really hope I can like falling into routine. I really hope that I can become great at what I do. And I really hope that I can always enjoy watching the sunset and, every once in awhile, dream about Panama.
This is a start.
I love what I do.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and I love him to pieces. He joined the army a few months ago and wants to be a helicopter pilot. He's in basic training now and I look forward to the day when we can actually live in the same city for more than 4 months.
Must be nice.
All of these things have changed me. For the better or worse I do not know. I feel more independent than ever. I'm living on my own, in my own apartment, that only I pay for. But at the same time, I'm still really dependent...on my parents, on Nate. I feel grown up and at the same time so young. Naive. I feel like I've lost a piece of myself somewhere along the way. I know a lot of it has to do with Nate being gone but there's something else too. I feel old. Older, anyway. I can't just call into work and drive to the beach anymore. Or miss class to go home to Orlando.
For the first time since I was five years old I wont be going to school when it starts on Monday. That amazes me. It scares me too, but it also excites me. I really hope I can like falling into routine. I really hope that I can become great at what I do. And I really hope that I can always enjoy watching the sunset and, every once in awhile, dream about Panama.
This is a start.