Bare Fic: I Have Dumb and I Cannot Brain
Title: I Have Dumb and I Cannot Brain
Writer: Left_of_Weir
Fandom: bare: a pop opera
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Peter/Jason, Lucas
Summary: Jason takes one for Lucas, and Lucas takes one from the team.
I Have Dumb and I Cannot Brain
by Left_of_Weir
Depending on the gravity of their offense and the number of demerits they have accumulated, students at St. Cecilia’s get “excluded”, “grounded”, “suspended”, or “expelled”. Since Lucas’s little business on the side definitely exceeded expulsion and flirted with criminal conviction, Jason couldn’t feel too bad about breaking all those little bottles hidden inside the toilet tank in Lucas’s bathroom. He did not hesitate even though those bottles could have paid for an entire year’s tuition at Notre Dame. All he knew was that the presence of those bottles in Lucas’s room would just end in badness for the occupants of the room, and the last thing that Jason wanted was for Peter to get into trouble because of Lucas’s stupidity.
He was just in time too. He managed to pour the contents of the last bottle down the sink just as the Inspection Committee arrived at Lucas’s room with both Lucas and Peter in tow. Unfortunately, he had no way to dispose of the bottles. With some quick thinking, Jason replaced the bottles in the little waterproof bag that Lucas kept them in, stomped on them, and tossed the shards inside the toilet bowl, just as the Inspection Committee opened the door to the room. The clear glass was almost invisible in the clear water and Jason could have gotten away with it, except that he depressed the flusher out of habit. He washed his hands and stepped out to the room where a committee of three officials, including Sister Chantelle, Lucas, and Peter were waiting for him to explain what he was doing.
To Lucas’s credit, he managed to keep his cool. He was quick enough to realize what the unmistakable sound of breaking glass meant for his entire stash, and smart enough not to protest. He looked at Peter to see if the other boy realized what a narrow escape they had but Peter was staring wordlessly at Jason, who had just come out of the bathroom.
“Hey, Peter,” said Jason. Peter sat down heavily on the nearest chair and did not reply.
“S’up, Jason!” Lucas said.
“I’ll ‘s’up’ the three of you if you don’t explain what you’re doing here, Mr. McConnell,” snapped Sister Chantelle.
“Waiting for Lucas,” Jason replied with a winning smile. “We were supposed to play basketball and Lucas told me to wait in his room.” He paused. “I heard that your application for room transfer has been approved, Peter.” Peter nodded silently and barely looked at him.
“We’re here to look at his new quarters and see that they’re in order. I see that you have been making an advance inspection on our behalf. Did you find everything to your liking, Mr. McConnell?” Sister Chantelle asked pointedly.
Lucas saw Jason nod but he clearly wasn’t listening anymore. Peter was still carefully avoiding his eyes. Lucas grabbed his basketball that was on the floor nearby and tossed it to Jason, who caught it instinctively.
“Wait for me at the gym?” Lucas said. “Maybe some practice will do you good.”
Jason scoffed with the confidence of a starter who averaged 14.8 points, 8.8 rebounds, and 1.2 blocked shots and shot 58.0% from the field. “Even if you practiced, it won’t do you any good. Let’s see you take me down.”
“Oh, I’ll take you down, McConnell,” Lucas grinned good-naturedly. While his shot-blocking and man-to-man defense helped St. Cecilia win games, he was a nervous shooter and missing easy baskets and free throws were his particular curse.
“Don’t make me wait too long,” said Jason as he started out the room with basketball in tow. “Bye, Sister Chantelle.” He paused in front of Peter’s chair but the other boy refused to acknowledge his presence. “See you around, Peter,” Jason said in a low voice.
“Now just wait one basketball minute,” said Sister Chantelle. “Before you leave us, Mr. McConnell, could you please explain to me what that is?” She pointed at the pool of water that was slowly flowing out of the bathroom and was creeping into the room, staining the carpet. From the tone of her voice, Jason knew that he wasn’t about to play basketball anytime soon.
The officials at St. Cecilia were not unreasonable. They knew that students went in and out of each other’s rooms all the time and so were willing to overlook the offense of Unauthorized Presence in a Dormitory Room, defined in the Student’s Handbook as punishable with exclusion. Exclusion meant that the student would not be allowed to have any form of verbal, written or physical communication or contact with his fellow students for the duration of his penalty.
However, since the plumber testified that the pipes were clogged with broken glass and could only be fixed after considerable time and expense, Jason’s offense was elevated to Defacing or Destroying School Property, which was punishable by grounding, or restriction to campus grounds. The officials knew that both their school’s ranking and chances of winning the basketball championship for the season would be hurt by Jason’s exclusion from the games. However, Jason’s excuse that he panicked when he broke Lucas’s glass while brushing his teeth and threw the shards in the toilet instead of disposing them properly in the garbage can was too flimsy for this to be passed off as an accident.
First of all, the glass particles the plumber fished out were not that of a toothbrush glass. Second, there were two glasses intact on the sink. Third, Jason couldn’t produce the toothbrush he claimed he was brushing his teeth with. Fourth, he couldn’t explain why he was brushing his teeth in someone else’s room when his own room was only a hallway away. Fifth, they received a communications from Jason’s father that because of this incident, as well as certain other reasons that will remain private to the McConnell family, he is withdrawing all support from his son, effective immediately. While it was sad and unfortunate that it had to happen to someone like Jason, somebody still had to pay for that busted toilet.
And that was why Jason was restricted to campus until he could pay the costs through a work-study program, and excluded from interaction with the student body as punishment for his unauthorized presence in Lucas’s room. Since Lucas’s room was rendered uninhabitable for the time being, the officials ordered Lucas to move in with Peter in his old room instead, and for Jason to move to a small room that was usually assigned to students on scholarship.
Lucas took up a collection among the student body to pay for the repairs on Jason’s behalf. But the officials decided that lifting Jason’s punishment because his friends could afford to buy off his sentence wasn’t a lesson that St. Cecilia’s was interested in teaching. Besides, Jason adamantly refused such an arrangement and even seemed to welcome the opportunity to work for the school. So, the officials applied the amount to the remainder of Jason’s tuition, which had remained unpaid despite repeated letters to the elder Mr. McConnell, and assigned Jason to kitchen duty.
As for Lucas, well, the officials of St. Cecilia have stocked enough toothbrush glasses in enough dormitory rooms to know what they look like broken. But since they had nothing except shattered glass, they could not refer to the Student Handbook in this case. However, they required the less-talented Lucas to substitute for St. Cecilia’s prized athlete during the championship games. While it was hard for everyone to see the basketball team embarrass themselves repeatedly on court, the officials remained convinced that leaving Lucas to face the wrath of a disappointed student body would teach him a lesson or two in the consequences of trafficking in unknown substances.
Writer: Left_of_Weir
Fandom: bare: a pop opera
Rating: G
Pairing/Characters: Peter/Jason, Lucas
Summary: Jason takes one for Lucas, and Lucas takes one from the team.
I Have Dumb and I Cannot Brain
by Left_of_Weir
Depending on the gravity of their offense and the number of demerits they have accumulated, students at St. Cecilia’s get “excluded”, “grounded”, “suspended”, or “expelled”. Since Lucas’s little business on the side definitely exceeded expulsion and flirted with criminal conviction, Jason couldn’t feel too bad about breaking all those little bottles hidden inside the toilet tank in Lucas’s bathroom. He did not hesitate even though those bottles could have paid for an entire year’s tuition at Notre Dame. All he knew was that the presence of those bottles in Lucas’s room would just end in badness for the occupants of the room, and the last thing that Jason wanted was for Peter to get into trouble because of Lucas’s stupidity.
He was just in time too. He managed to pour the contents of the last bottle down the sink just as the Inspection Committee arrived at Lucas’s room with both Lucas and Peter in tow. Unfortunately, he had no way to dispose of the bottles. With some quick thinking, Jason replaced the bottles in the little waterproof bag that Lucas kept them in, stomped on them, and tossed the shards inside the toilet bowl, just as the Inspection Committee opened the door to the room. The clear glass was almost invisible in the clear water and Jason could have gotten away with it, except that he depressed the flusher out of habit. He washed his hands and stepped out to the room where a committee of three officials, including Sister Chantelle, Lucas, and Peter were waiting for him to explain what he was doing.
To Lucas’s credit, he managed to keep his cool. He was quick enough to realize what the unmistakable sound of breaking glass meant for his entire stash, and smart enough not to protest. He looked at Peter to see if the other boy realized what a narrow escape they had but Peter was staring wordlessly at Jason, who had just come out of the bathroom.
“Hey, Peter,” said Jason. Peter sat down heavily on the nearest chair and did not reply.
“S’up, Jason!” Lucas said.
“I’ll ‘s’up’ the three of you if you don’t explain what you’re doing here, Mr. McConnell,” snapped Sister Chantelle.
“Waiting for Lucas,” Jason replied with a winning smile. “We were supposed to play basketball and Lucas told me to wait in his room.” He paused. “I heard that your application for room transfer has been approved, Peter.” Peter nodded silently and barely looked at him.
“We’re here to look at his new quarters and see that they’re in order. I see that you have been making an advance inspection on our behalf. Did you find everything to your liking, Mr. McConnell?” Sister Chantelle asked pointedly.
Lucas saw Jason nod but he clearly wasn’t listening anymore. Peter was still carefully avoiding his eyes. Lucas grabbed his basketball that was on the floor nearby and tossed it to Jason, who caught it instinctively.
“Wait for me at the gym?” Lucas said. “Maybe some practice will do you good.”
Jason scoffed with the confidence of a starter who averaged 14.8 points, 8.8 rebounds, and 1.2 blocked shots and shot 58.0% from the field. “Even if you practiced, it won’t do you any good. Let’s see you take me down.”
“Oh, I’ll take you down, McConnell,” Lucas grinned good-naturedly. While his shot-blocking and man-to-man defense helped St. Cecilia win games, he was a nervous shooter and missing easy baskets and free throws were his particular curse.
“Don’t make me wait too long,” said Jason as he started out the room with basketball in tow. “Bye, Sister Chantelle.” He paused in front of Peter’s chair but the other boy refused to acknowledge his presence. “See you around, Peter,” Jason said in a low voice.
“Now just wait one basketball minute,” said Sister Chantelle. “Before you leave us, Mr. McConnell, could you please explain to me what that is?” She pointed at the pool of water that was slowly flowing out of the bathroom and was creeping into the room, staining the carpet. From the tone of her voice, Jason knew that he wasn’t about to play basketball anytime soon.
The officials at St. Cecilia were not unreasonable. They knew that students went in and out of each other’s rooms all the time and so were willing to overlook the offense of Unauthorized Presence in a Dormitory Room, defined in the Student’s Handbook as punishable with exclusion. Exclusion meant that the student would not be allowed to have any form of verbal, written or physical communication or contact with his fellow students for the duration of his penalty.
However, since the plumber testified that the pipes were clogged with broken glass and could only be fixed after considerable time and expense, Jason’s offense was elevated to Defacing or Destroying School Property, which was punishable by grounding, or restriction to campus grounds. The officials knew that both their school’s ranking and chances of winning the basketball championship for the season would be hurt by Jason’s exclusion from the games. However, Jason’s excuse that he panicked when he broke Lucas’s glass while brushing his teeth and threw the shards in the toilet instead of disposing them properly in the garbage can was too flimsy for this to be passed off as an accident.
First of all, the glass particles the plumber fished out were not that of a toothbrush glass. Second, there were two glasses intact on the sink. Third, Jason couldn’t produce the toothbrush he claimed he was brushing his teeth with. Fourth, he couldn’t explain why he was brushing his teeth in someone else’s room when his own room was only a hallway away. Fifth, they received a communications from Jason’s father that because of this incident, as well as certain other reasons that will remain private to the McConnell family, he is withdrawing all support from his son, effective immediately. While it was sad and unfortunate that it had to happen to someone like Jason, somebody still had to pay for that busted toilet.
And that was why Jason was restricted to campus until he could pay the costs through a work-study program, and excluded from interaction with the student body as punishment for his unauthorized presence in Lucas’s room. Since Lucas’s room was rendered uninhabitable for the time being, the officials ordered Lucas to move in with Peter in his old room instead, and for Jason to move to a small room that was usually assigned to students on scholarship.
Lucas took up a collection among the student body to pay for the repairs on Jason’s behalf. But the officials decided that lifting Jason’s punishment because his friends could afford to buy off his sentence wasn’t a lesson that St. Cecilia’s was interested in teaching. Besides, Jason adamantly refused such an arrangement and even seemed to welcome the opportunity to work for the school. So, the officials applied the amount to the remainder of Jason’s tuition, which had remained unpaid despite repeated letters to the elder Mr. McConnell, and assigned Jason to kitchen duty.
As for Lucas, well, the officials of St. Cecilia have stocked enough toothbrush glasses in enough dormitory rooms to know what they look like broken. But since they had nothing except shattered glass, they could not refer to the Student Handbook in this case. However, they required the less-talented Lucas to substitute for St. Cecilia’s prized athlete during the championship games. While it was hard for everyone to see the basketball team embarrass themselves repeatedly on court, the officials remained convinced that leaving Lucas to face the wrath of a disappointed student body would teach him a lesson or two in the consequences of trafficking in unknown substances.