(an unusual entry): terrified & a stupid boy

Mar 16, 2007 22:22

I’m scared.

This will be unlike any LJ post I’ve made thus far, so bear with me.

I decided a few years back that I really wanted to be a science school teacher for kids. I had my first test run in an elementary classroom recently.

I had no idea that it would be crowd control and not just being a guide-on-the-side helping kids understand science.

All my life I’ve believed that I could really pull off anything I put my mind to. For the first time since I can remember, I’m questioning whether that promise will hold true to my future dreams. I’ve always felt like a capable, determined and likely candidate for a happy, successful life.

Sure, you may say, I had a really crappy first teaching experience: unruly, unsure, unprepared kids & uninvolved teacher..

That may be true, but I’m fucking scared.

----------------------------------------

On an unrelated note, had my Friday night date with another boy (Drew, from OKC) and he was the most boring guy I’ve ever given the time of day. Not cute enough, not interesting enough, not memorable enough, not complimentary enough, frankly, just not enough.

he was actually rather presumptuous. he actually had the galls to say to me: "oh, you're 25? so you are getting your PhD right now?"

like every fucking 25 y/o is getting their PhD. hey, jerk, i've been LIVING, not just consumed in school since i was 5. i took breaks, got out in the world! grrr! when i told becks about that she said that i should have said "oh, you're only 31? so are you the chief of staff to a multi million dollar nonprofit?" (that is beck's position)




He won’t be getting a call back.

okc, no way in hell, drew, future, scared, becks, dates, teaching, boys, expectations, what the hell am i doing again?

Previous post Next post
Up