Meta: Sometimes I feel like a tool of phallocentric hetero-male-supremacy, and sometimes I don't.

[lefaym]

Over the last week or so, I've been thinking a lot about the way that my slash-writing in Torchwood/Who fandom fits in with my feminism. I'm trying to be very self-critical (i.e. I'm not trying to hand-wave problematic issues where they do exist), but at the same time, I really want to highlight the positive feminist experiences that have come out

Comments

[51stcenturyfox]

A bit of personal experience from me -- when I was about 12 years old, I was sexually harrassed, quite horribly, by some boys on my schoolbus -- they were asking me all sorts of intimate and personal questions about my very-non-existant sex life, implying that I wanted to have sex with my father, all sorts of horrible things, just for a laugh.

Were you bothered at all before you were informed that you were being sexually harassed? I mean, I realize that you were bothered, but did the realization make it somehow worse?

I had meant to add that this story triggered a memory. Something similar happened when I was in 5th grade, so I guess I was 10 or 11. Some boys in my class decided that I was probably a lesbian (OMG!). I don't remember being at all offended. I had short hair and played basketball and fought people, FFS. I remember telling them they were just pissed off because I wasn't interested in them and that they should STFU and play wallball with me if they were MAN ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT.

I'd forgotten about that. I was a mouthy brat.

[lefaym]

Initially it bothered me a lot that people were "making a big deal" out of it -- although a big part of that was me being afraid that the boys would take retribution on me somehow. And I do think it was hard to actually admit that what happened was sexual harrassment, but once I did, I think it became a lot easier to recognise that that wasn't behaviour that I had to put up with, and to place the blame on the boys who did it instead on myself (previously I thought it was my fault because I sat behind them on the bus, instead of sitting right up the front with the kindergarten kids). And you know, even to this day it makes me feel really good that an older girl was looking out for me -- ultimately I am so glad that she spoke up, and I think I am definitely better off because she did.

Funnily enough, I also had certain experiences around the age 10-11 with people claiming I was a lesbian. I remember being bothered that I was being teased, but also baffled as to why you would tease someone for being a lesbian. A few months after that I was decorating a folder for school with pictures from magazines, and one of the pictures I wanted to use was a silhouette of a naked woman -- I remember wondering whether or not I should use it, and then I decided that I didn't really care if people thought I was a lesbian or not, since there was nothing wrong with being one anyway.

[51stcenturyfox]

And you know, even to this day it makes me feel really good that an older girl was looking out for me -- ultimately I am so glad that she spoke up, and I think I am definitely better off because she did.

Just hearing that she did makes me feel good, too. How many times do children - or even adults - stick their necks out to stop someone being victimized? Not nearly enough.

Ditto on the namecalling. Boys get this too... if there's anything slightly unconventional about another child, out come the labels. It works as a bullying tactic because most children are deathly afraid of not fitting in. It doesn't matter what the label is; it could be anything. (The trouble is that it's harder to laugh off if a young person is really struggling with sexual preference confusion or depression. Downright terrifying, I'm sure.)