can you please release me?
So I feel like I can breathe a bit easier. I am in fact HIV- and did not test positive for herpes. I'm still not sure exactly what it is I have... I must take another blood test soon and the "sample" (re: the stick they jammed into my urethra) was not enough to do my ghonnorea test. So its either the syph or the ghon at this point, and either way, I am THRILLED beyond belief because that means it will go away and mostly, because I currently don't have any side effects (ie pain pain pain while urinating).
Truth be told, I'm a bit, uhm, I don't want to oversell this emotion here, but TERRIFIED of ever having my skin touch anyone else ever again. Safe sex is not enough. We need raincoats to fuck. Hopefully, like the first real hangover you ever have, this terror will be fleeting and I can once again commit debauchery.
I did want to comment that I am absolutely crazy for MSTRKRFT and in particular, his version of Metric's "Monster Hospital". Its really fucking delightful. Also, I really like Dangerous Muse right now. Lots of celebratory techno this week.
Just got home from seeing An Inconvenient Truth today, fucking finally, after several failed attempts. It was pretty much exactly the book in film form. I appreciate it, its an important issue and I am really glad that this book and film are out there.
Also, I'm pretty close to being done with Anderson Cooper's memoir and it is perhaps the most important thing that I think I've read in several years. I also watched the exclusive Angelina Jolie interview with AC the other night and although the NY Times panned it today, I think that the pessimists and naysayers should shut their fucking mouths. I loved that the interview was centered almost exclusively around her work with the UN and refugees and all of her past antics aside (who doesn't have a fucking weird phase?), despite her scandalous celebrity around one Mr. Pitt, she is intelligent and articulate and genuine about this cause. Donating 1/3 of all of your income and financing all of your expenses with your work, that's commitment to your cause regardless of how big your income is. The images in that exclusive, the sheer weight of helplessness and all that is without words terrible in the world... it makes me feel ashamed of my society, the way I am, the way there is always want of more when some people are subjected to starvation, rape, mutilation, and torture, homelessness. There is so much we take for granted and when you remember that, it makes you feel really small.
Anyway, the days are drawing closer and closer for me in California. I'm already starting to miss so much, especially my store. I've built that motherfucker from the bottom up, but even the hard days were worth it. I'm really proud of everything I've done, and I think that was fully realized when I was recognized literally in front of 400 other stores for managing the tightest financials. I'm going to miss my partners. My crew is completely hand-picked and so close. I really do believe that you get what you put into this company, regardless of shitty circumstance. I'm tired of people that bitch and bitch and don't speak up, don't offer your ideas and keep an open mind to others. Success is picking people and building relationships in business. That's the foundation of most things, isn't it? Either way, my days are literally numbered and its starting to get sad to go in.
Truth be told, I'm a bit, uhm, I don't want to oversell this emotion here, but TERRIFIED of ever having my skin touch anyone else ever again. Safe sex is not enough. We need raincoats to fuck. Hopefully, like the first real hangover you ever have, this terror will be fleeting and I can once again commit debauchery.
I did want to comment that I am absolutely crazy for MSTRKRFT and in particular, his version of Metric's "Monster Hospital". Its really fucking delightful. Also, I really like Dangerous Muse right now. Lots of celebratory techno this week.
Just got home from seeing An Inconvenient Truth today, fucking finally, after several failed attempts. It was pretty much exactly the book in film form. I appreciate it, its an important issue and I am really glad that this book and film are out there.
Also, I'm pretty close to being done with Anderson Cooper's memoir and it is perhaps the most important thing that I think I've read in several years. I also watched the exclusive Angelina Jolie interview with AC the other night and although the NY Times panned it today, I think that the pessimists and naysayers should shut their fucking mouths. I loved that the interview was centered almost exclusively around her work with the UN and refugees and all of her past antics aside (who doesn't have a fucking weird phase?), despite her scandalous celebrity around one Mr. Pitt, she is intelligent and articulate and genuine about this cause. Donating 1/3 of all of your income and financing all of your expenses with your work, that's commitment to your cause regardless of how big your income is. The images in that exclusive, the sheer weight of helplessness and all that is without words terrible in the world... it makes me feel ashamed of my society, the way I am, the way there is always want of more when some people are subjected to starvation, rape, mutilation, and torture, homelessness. There is so much we take for granted and when you remember that, it makes you feel really small.
Anyway, the days are drawing closer and closer for me in California. I'm already starting to miss so much, especially my store. I've built that motherfucker from the bottom up, but even the hard days were worth it. I'm really proud of everything I've done, and I think that was fully realized when I was recognized literally in front of 400 other stores for managing the tightest financials. I'm going to miss my partners. My crew is completely hand-picked and so close. I really do believe that you get what you put into this company, regardless of shitty circumstance. I'm tired of people that bitch and bitch and don't speak up, don't offer your ideas and keep an open mind to others. Success is picking people and building relationships in business. That's the foundation of most things, isn't it? Either way, my days are literally numbered and its starting to get sad to go in.