Mar 20, 2006 20:37
i did. at least its done. i dont fucking care i give up on everything.
im so fucking fucked up aruaruagh! i dont wanna deal with the rest of school but i dont wanna graduate and face the rest of my life. im thrown now, becuase i enjoyed maryland so much that....oh god, maybe should i actually leave NY for a little while and go there for grad school? but i cant, i cant leave NY. these streets are MY streets. this shit ass place is MY HOME. that 24 hour dunkin donuts is MY 24 hour dunkin donuts.
i do regret though, not going away to college. but what if i did? would i come home and get a job or would i get one there? and if i go to grad school away, like id wanted to, then figured id just stay here and now i want to leave again, where will i ultimately get a job?
what the hell what the fuck should i do?! and i FEEL nothing like all of this is pure logic running around in my brain so i cant even do the cliche thing and follow my heart cuz my heart is dead, cold, unfeeling, empty, DONE.
the rest of my life is facing me RIGHT NOW and i cannot deal.
:::runs screaming for the hills:::