(no subject)
i was sitting here, thinking about how bad right now was sucking, but for some reason i changed my mind.
i mean its not the worst thing in the world, things could definitely be worse, and i'm thankful that they're not.
but this isn't that great either.
sitting here on my computer, bored, lonely, restless, noone to talk to, nothing to do.
i would play guitar but i don't want to wake up rob.
tv sucks, i have no weed, im not hungry, im out of cigarettes, i dont think ill be involved in any sexual activity tonight and im too lazy to wank.
but i love being alive :)
and for some reason when i read all of that back to myself it makes me laugh.
man life is crazy, and i love it.
im happy just to be alive, and not be in pain of any kind.
well physical pain, i guess we all have at least a little emotional pain goin on most of the time.
whatever though, pain teaches us things, cant ignore it. gotta dive right into it and be honest with yourself.
then you can learn from it.
life is a crazy trip, and i think thats why as much as id love to be dancing on planet disco with mad fine women right now, im somehow happy just to be sitting here, able to type on this computer.
just being able to experience life is kind of like a gift if you think about it.
plants and objects and shit just are, they just exist as a part of the universe or whatever.
we actually get to observe it all, think about it, enjoy its good parts and suffer its bad.
i think i just need to put a little more into it.
you cant just expect what you want to come to you i guess, you have to go get it.
weve all been told that but do we actually think about what it means?
to put yourself into something, make something happen.
alot of times i get stuck feeling like, well thats fine and good but HOW do i make something happen
and i think ive learned i just have to do it.
im not sure how to explain myself.
its like opening a door, you just open the door.
i cant just sit there thinking, ohhh i gotta walk to the door, send signals to my hand from my brain to reach for the doorknob,
ok now turn it,
k pull.
nahhhh, you just open the door.
get it now?
although theres no real fear of failure while opening a door, it applies more to things that you give up on because you thought your way out of them.
like starting something youve always wanted to do.
dont think about it and be like ohhhh i dunno if id be able to doo it its too late it dosnt work with this it bla bla bla. if you want to do something in life just do it.
i dunno if this applies to anyone reading this, it might just be me.
then again it might not even be me, i change my mind so fuggin much i probably shouldnt even write in this thing.
in a week ill look at this and have some new thing i thought of or realized or whatever and this will be old.
maybe not tho, and i guess little parts of this will carry on.
kind of like the shiz we do in life, every little action adds up to make this crazy thing we call life,
im tired now.
peace and love
i mean its not the worst thing in the world, things could definitely be worse, and i'm thankful that they're not.
but this isn't that great either.
sitting here on my computer, bored, lonely, restless, noone to talk to, nothing to do.
i would play guitar but i don't want to wake up rob.
tv sucks, i have no weed, im not hungry, im out of cigarettes, i dont think ill be involved in any sexual activity tonight and im too lazy to wank.
but i love being alive :)
and for some reason when i read all of that back to myself it makes me laugh.
man life is crazy, and i love it.
im happy just to be alive, and not be in pain of any kind.
well physical pain, i guess we all have at least a little emotional pain goin on most of the time.
whatever though, pain teaches us things, cant ignore it. gotta dive right into it and be honest with yourself.
then you can learn from it.
life is a crazy trip, and i think thats why as much as id love to be dancing on planet disco with mad fine women right now, im somehow happy just to be sitting here, able to type on this computer.
just being able to experience life is kind of like a gift if you think about it.
plants and objects and shit just are, they just exist as a part of the universe or whatever.
we actually get to observe it all, think about it, enjoy its good parts and suffer its bad.
i think i just need to put a little more into it.
you cant just expect what you want to come to you i guess, you have to go get it.
weve all been told that but do we actually think about what it means?
to put yourself into something, make something happen.
alot of times i get stuck feeling like, well thats fine and good but HOW do i make something happen
and i think ive learned i just have to do it.
im not sure how to explain myself.
its like opening a door, you just open the door.
i cant just sit there thinking, ohhh i gotta walk to the door, send signals to my hand from my brain to reach for the doorknob,
ok now turn it,
k pull.
nahhhh, you just open the door.
get it now?
although theres no real fear of failure while opening a door, it applies more to things that you give up on because you thought your way out of them.
like starting something youve always wanted to do.
dont think about it and be like ohhhh i dunno if id be able to doo it its too late it dosnt work with this it bla bla bla. if you want to do something in life just do it.
i dunno if this applies to anyone reading this, it might just be me.
then again it might not even be me, i change my mind so fuggin much i probably shouldnt even write in this thing.
in a week ill look at this and have some new thing i thought of or realized or whatever and this will be old.
maybe not tho, and i guess little parts of this will carry on.
kind of like the shiz we do in life, every little action adds up to make this crazy thing we call life,
im tired now.
peace and love