i'll make a man out of you...
so life is good. a little more complicated than I wish it would be. but it is good. I cannot believe that summer is basically over. September starts this week and this is the first september in 17 years that I have not been going to school. it is insane. the only upside is that I will be starting a new job, at Dunkin Corporate! I am really excited... or I think I am. It is weird because some days I feel like I am selling out. I don't know why, I just feel like this is what everyone expects me to do... and I would much rather just go and travel and be free. Idk? I guess to do that you need money so step 1: work at Dunkin until I have enough money to go out and be free. lol.
Also the boy situation is complicated. I feel more and more distressed about it every day. I am having nightmares that go with moments of complete serenity. It is too many emotions for me to feel about one person. Today I just felt like I am being made a fool of... that is how I feel. especially since more than one person now has said that they could see us getting married?! like whoa wait a minute... where did these ideas come from. sigh... idk it's just the more I think about it the worse I feel. I need to stop waiting for something to happen, stop giving out chances. I MEAN why hasn't something happened? isn't there supposed to be some grand showing? isn't that how "i'm sorry" works? I don't know if it is my archaic view of love or just a desperate hope that i could finally be treated like a princess... but i was sure thats what people do when they want to apologize for something big. the do something big... and if they don't then what? keep waiting for it? ughhh. too much thinking is making me sick... sigh.
WELL. I promise although that does not seem that happy, I am. everything else in my life is going swimmingly. so if I can just work out these kinks everything will be close to perfection... haha. or something like that.
well I hope everyone is enjoying their last few days of august, I know I am!
Also the boy situation is complicated. I feel more and more distressed about it every day. I am having nightmares that go with moments of complete serenity. It is too many emotions for me to feel about one person. Today I just felt like I am being made a fool of... that is how I feel. especially since more than one person now has said that they could see us getting married?! like whoa wait a minute... where did these ideas come from. sigh... idk it's just the more I think about it the worse I feel. I need to stop waiting for something to happen, stop giving out chances. I MEAN why hasn't something happened? isn't there supposed to be some grand showing? isn't that how "i'm sorry" works? I don't know if it is my archaic view of love or just a desperate hope that i could finally be treated like a princess... but i was sure thats what people do when they want to apologize for something big. the do something big... and if they don't then what? keep waiting for it? ughhh. too much thinking is making me sick... sigh.
WELL. I promise although that does not seem that happy, I am. everything else in my life is going swimmingly. so if I can just work out these kinks everything will be close to perfection... haha. or something like that.
well I hope everyone is enjoying their last few days of august, I know I am!