Shh...it
I'm so confused right now. It doesn't seem right, at all. Like, what am I doing? Ever since I was little, I was always moving. 5, moving to San Diego, 6, moving to China, 10, moving to Middletown, 12, moving to Marlboro, and now, 19, moving to Virginia. I never had a chance. And now, the purity is gone. Completely. I feel really frantic. I don't think relationships like this will last, there is too much lust involved and not enough feeling. Right?! I mean, too much physical and not enough substance relationships can not last, unless its in the most superficial and lustful way. And, I don't think I'm like this. Like everything is so different from the movies and I just don't know. I'm really confused right now. I mean, passion can only lead to burning out, right? Where did the substance go? Can there really be a clear understanding between 2 people, an underlying understanding? Am I to undergo the relationship with a clear knowledge that the person will never fully understand me? Like, the type of understanding of why I love the river next to the coffee shop next to the red journal, even though I don't drink coffee? That type of understanding? I'm so weirded out right now, going to the city tomorrow. Night.