for all those in SF
the boulevard sucks ass.
i'm not much for doing food reviews, as my writing style isn't conducive to describing delectable morsels dancing on my palate or whatever other frufru gay-ass shit food critics say. i will, however, say a little bit because it might be useful to people who live here, don't have infinite money, and want to eat well.
andimus and i spent $133 before gratuity. sure, $45 of it was a half-bottle of veuve cliquot demi-sec, but it rocked our worlds, and its bubbles whimsically frolicked about our eager tongues, so it was well worth it. that and we already knew how good that shit is. the other $88 would have been better spent at, oh, subway. i had lunch at subway earlier in the day, in fact. sure, subway doesn't have foie gras and tuna tartare, but i speak in terms of subjective enjoyment of the meal. in that vein, i think for $88 i could fill up our oversize tub with sweet onion chicken teriyaki and buttress it microwave bacon bits and get more sensory delight out of that monstrosity than out of our meal at the boulevard.
am i speaking in hyperbole? sure. was the meal terrible? not at all. but it wasn't worth the money. honestly, everything we had except the "potato risotto" (why it's called risotto boggles my mind; it's just small dice potatoes in a cream sauce) was entirely unimpressive. the kobe beef dish was a classic case of underappreciation for something great, the severity of which was rivaled only by the time my dad got my mom a single balloon for her birthday (hi daddy =) ).
for dessert, we split a chocolate peanut butter cream cheese cake. at that point, we were pretty disappointed but figured that even if the pastry chef was as half-hearted about the desserts as the chef was about the savories, it would still be good. i mean, even not-great chocolate is still very good. god, we were so wrong. everything else was blah, but the dessert was downright horrible. i have never in my life not finished dessert unless i was full. at the boulevard, i left my whole half of the cake untouched except for the first bite. oh yeah, i also removed the top later because i thought it was just chocolate, and you can't fuck up chocolate, right? andrew tried it, and as recognition lit up his face, he told me that he had had the same cake, with the same characteristic dried-up, old frosting taste, at costco or safeway.
when i eat out, i want to get stuff i can't make at home. or stuff i wouldn't make at home because it's too much effort. and the boulevard, sadly, did not deliver.
i'm not much for doing food reviews, as my writing style isn't conducive to describing delectable morsels dancing on my palate or whatever other frufru gay-ass shit food critics say. i will, however, say a little bit because it might be useful to people who live here, don't have infinite money, and want to eat well.
andimus and i spent $133 before gratuity. sure, $45 of it was a half-bottle of veuve cliquot demi-sec, but it rocked our worlds, and its bubbles whimsically frolicked about our eager tongues, so it was well worth it. that and we already knew how good that shit is. the other $88 would have been better spent at, oh, subway. i had lunch at subway earlier in the day, in fact. sure, subway doesn't have foie gras and tuna tartare, but i speak in terms of subjective enjoyment of the meal. in that vein, i think for $88 i could fill up our oversize tub with sweet onion chicken teriyaki and buttress it microwave bacon bits and get more sensory delight out of that monstrosity than out of our meal at the boulevard.
am i speaking in hyperbole? sure. was the meal terrible? not at all. but it wasn't worth the money. honestly, everything we had except the "potato risotto" (why it's called risotto boggles my mind; it's just small dice potatoes in a cream sauce) was entirely unimpressive. the kobe beef dish was a classic case of underappreciation for something great, the severity of which was rivaled only by the time my dad got my mom a single balloon for her birthday (hi daddy =) ).
for dessert, we split a chocolate peanut butter cream cheese cake. at that point, we were pretty disappointed but figured that even if the pastry chef was as half-hearted about the desserts as the chef was about the savories, it would still be good. i mean, even not-great chocolate is still very good. god, we were so wrong. everything else was blah, but the dessert was downright horrible. i have never in my life not finished dessert unless i was full. at the boulevard, i left my whole half of the cake untouched except for the first bite. oh yeah, i also removed the top later because i thought it was just chocolate, and you can't fuck up chocolate, right? andrew tried it, and as recognition lit up his face, he told me that he had had the same cake, with the same characteristic dried-up, old frosting taste, at costco or safeway.
when i eat out, i want to get stuff i can't make at home. or stuff i wouldn't make at home because it's too much effort. and the boulevard, sadly, did not deliver.