Being Bem (4/4)

[leen1707]

Title: Being Bem (4/4)
Pairing: None really? Mostly Bem & Kame co-existing within Kame's head with hints of Bem/Natsume friendship and Yokai-gen
Word Count:2,850
Genre: stream of consciousness?
Disclaimer: Pure fiction. Any real persons/events mentioned deserve my sincere apologies for being subjected to my voluntary artistic interpretation.

Comments

[saharasnow82]

Kudos to you for writing this fic. My reply may get a bit long so…
You did an amazing job going between Kame and Kame as Bem. It felt so much like I was in his head in the midst of filming - going from shooting a scene to the down time in between. Just to see Kame’s feelings coming off of what was just filmed was great. It makes so much sense. I think we all go through that at some point. We see something on the news or hear someone else talking about an experience s/he had and then put ourselves in that situation. We wonder “How I would react?” or “How I am different or the same?” It made everything feel all the more realistic.
The mental pictures you painted going through the things that the two feel empty about in their lives, the things that they treasure more than anything, and everything in between were so vivid. My heart pulled with Kame’s when he thought about how his work life impacts his personal life or should I say lack thereof. It really makes me wonder about the real Kame’s personal life and all the other idols out there, that they will have the time and opportunity to build a life and family (if they so choose) outside of what we the fans see. I know they have a life but I mean that they will have something real and lasting if the idol life ended tomorrow. Yeah I know I think waaaaaaaay too much.
I loved the way you had him questioning his interpretations of Bem’s feelings. Kame gives off a vibe that he is a person that feels his emotions very strongly so it would make sense for him to wonder if too much of him is bleeding out into Bem.
Then there is the Bem/Natsume relationship. It was such a strong part of the story especially in the last few episodes. You really brought out how much of a force Bem’s feelings towards Natsume was in why Bem acted the way he did. “Natsume is the lynchpin around which Bem's world rotates, and if this pin were to come loose, it would be Bem, who would take the fall.” That line summed up everything so perfectly. Why would anyone be willing to take another life for someone if that person was not essentially the center of his universe?
And the ending. Watching Kame take off the Bem hat and settle into being just him was like letting out that big sigh at the end of a long day at work. It felt good,

[leen1707]

I can't even explain how I like what you've written. Any reply is love, but you seem to understand exactly what I wanted to convey!! And this is, like, double, triple love and a happy dance! (My answer may get as long as your review, so be afraid, lol)))

I liked how you translated the situation with Kame coming off what was filmed into our normal situation, but it's also the other way round as well - when we read a book, we get to know the inner thoughts of the characters as well, but when one reads a script or a theatrical play, there are only the lines that the characters speak and what they do (and Bem even didn't get that many lines, and forgive me my scepticism - most of them is the "movie message" he has to convey being the titular character and all), so for an actor to give him an emotion, I think Kame had to try to figure how Bem's mind works, and why he does what he does.

But what you told is also true - about Kame in turn getting into thinking about his own life in comparison to Bem. I actually wanted to show the transition - from Bem being a character Kame tries to figure to Bem sort of acting of his own will to the point where Kame thinks about him almost as about another living person and then to Kame temporarily dissolving in Bem for the very intense scenes in the 8th episode (hence the long part with no Kame whatsoever and then him not knowing when his shoulder stopped aching and whatever he ate for lunch), and then gradually coming to himself again.

My heart pulled with Kame’s when he thought about how his work life impacts his personal life or should I say lack thereof. It really makes me wonder about the real Kame’s personal life and all the other idols out there... I know they have a life but I mean that they will have something real and lasting if the idol life ended tomorrow.
It's not even only true about the idols but about any person who does the job that he loves and that takes almost all of his/her time - somehow if a person only works for money there is always time for personal life even if objectively it's the same hours (I guess in this case this person at least doesn't think about work at home,lol). And it must be even harder for idols and, say, sportsmen and such - since for one - they usually start leading this kind of life so young they practically do not know it can be otherwise, and then the popularity and being recognized and also the fact that this life also has an (early) time-limit (that must be frightening for them too, I think).

Oh and I loved your thoughts about Bem and Natsume - Natsume is indeed very important for Bem. I think it is pretty obvious throughout the drama, and I especially like the scene where Bem says "I too want to become a... toothpick" - I didn't write it directly, but that is what I meant by "secret smiles" and "words that only have meaning for Bem". And the whole scene with Touga is for me the strongest scene in the whole series, for some reason I'm on the verge of tears especially at the moment at the very end - when Bela and Belo already gather around Natsume but Bem is still standing in the background. We see only his back, but Kame's body language just speaks of how defeated and shaken and not alright he is. And then he joins them and looks at once so tender and so sad it just breaks my heart. (And I'm repeating this part of fic, lol, and blabbering uncontrollably, and well - it shows how much I like your comment, hope I didn't tire you with my reply)