RANDOM URGENT UPDATE (ok not that urgent, esp since no one reads this)
I've found in the past few days that, though I don't know exactly what I want, finding out what you DON'T want is certainly a big step.
How did I arrive at this conclusion? Well, the story goes like this:
this week I tried to fix everything about my shitty post-college experience by running off to Virginia. I found a random job posting for a secretary in a Montessori school in the DC area and somehow managed to land it- decent pay even for a place like DC, benefits, etc. It wasn't really what I wanted at all in terms of career goals, but after frustrating search results in Ohio, coming to terms with an ending relationship, and having a "fuck you die" argument with my mother,dealing with overachieving toddlers four states away didn't seem like such a bad idea. I knew I wanted to go back to school, that I would miss friends, that I would miss family members in Dayton that I have just begun re-establishing contact with, but I packed all my worldly possessions into my 1995 Champaigne gold accord and high-tailed it to NOVA.
Little did I knowww just how scary Northern Virginia is. My aunt lives in the area, and drove me out to the school on Sunday, just so I would know how to get there, and the whole time I could feel my intestines tightening into so many knots...it was seriously Legoland, people. For 35 miles out of DC we drove along route 7, passing nothing but minivans, Outback Steakhouses, and Target Greatlands. My aunt pointed out prefab-looking apartment complexes surrounded by miles of grassy fields as places I might consider living in. It wouldn't have been so horrifying if I had the assurance that I would be anywhere near anything remotely authentic or fun to do, but the school ended up being 1 hour from the outskirts of DC. I had premonitions of me, the only sulky girl at the bar at Fridays, sucking on some shitty margarita while a Boys II Men song plays in the background, getting yelled at by an overprotective mommy because I forgot to put in the computer system that little Davy has a mild allergy to snacks with peanuts.I know that the job is for someone, that it wasn't the worst opportunity on earth, but it certainly wasn't for me.
That being said, I do not love Ohio, but I have never been so happy to see crumbly concrete and corn fields before. It probably isn't the place I want to end up, but I now realize that it isn't the worst place on the planet. Legoland is the worst place on the planet. And yes, we have a little bit of legoland here, but it doesn't stretch on and on for 50 MILES.
So nowww it's just time to formulate a plan, now that I look at Home in a different light. I want to go back to school for what I care about, not run away to a conservative area of the country that I know little to nothing about. So Ohio it is, at least for now. I'm going to be ok with that.
How did I arrive at this conclusion? Well, the story goes like this:
this week I tried to fix everything about my shitty post-college experience by running off to Virginia. I found a random job posting for a secretary in a Montessori school in the DC area and somehow managed to land it- decent pay even for a place like DC, benefits, etc. It wasn't really what I wanted at all in terms of career goals, but after frustrating search results in Ohio, coming to terms with an ending relationship, and having a "fuck you die" argument with my mother,dealing with overachieving toddlers four states away didn't seem like such a bad idea. I knew I wanted to go back to school, that I would miss friends, that I would miss family members in Dayton that I have just begun re-establishing contact with, but I packed all my worldly possessions into my 1995 Champaigne gold accord and high-tailed it to NOVA.
Little did I knowww just how scary Northern Virginia is. My aunt lives in the area, and drove me out to the school on Sunday, just so I would know how to get there, and the whole time I could feel my intestines tightening into so many knots...it was seriously Legoland, people. For 35 miles out of DC we drove along route 7, passing nothing but minivans, Outback Steakhouses, and Target Greatlands. My aunt pointed out prefab-looking apartment complexes surrounded by miles of grassy fields as places I might consider living in. It wouldn't have been so horrifying if I had the assurance that I would be anywhere near anything remotely authentic or fun to do, but the school ended up being 1 hour from the outskirts of DC. I had premonitions of me, the only sulky girl at the bar at Fridays, sucking on some shitty margarita while a Boys II Men song plays in the background, getting yelled at by an overprotective mommy because I forgot to put in the computer system that little Davy has a mild allergy to snacks with peanuts.I know that the job is for someone, that it wasn't the worst opportunity on earth, but it certainly wasn't for me.
That being said, I do not love Ohio, but I have never been so happy to see crumbly concrete and corn fields before. It probably isn't the place I want to end up, but I now realize that it isn't the worst place on the planet. Legoland is the worst place on the planet. And yes, we have a little bit of legoland here, but it doesn't stretch on and on for 50 MILES.
So nowww it's just time to formulate a plan, now that I look at Home in a different light. I want to go back to school for what I care about, not run away to a conservative area of the country that I know little to nothing about. So Ohio it is, at least for now. I'm going to be ok with that.