*~I do my best and its never good enough~*
Ok so it’s like 1:00am, and I have to get up at 7am to get ready to be at work for 9. I have a feeling that I somehow won’t be up on time. This sucks! I hate not being able to sleep. :( I tried talking to people but they bore me at the moment, games suck, music isn’t helping. I just don’t know what to do. TV and reading haven’t worked either. I know what would really help but I don’t want to go for a drive, to muggy out and besides gas is way too expensive! I just need to clear my head but every time I try more shit ends up inside of it. I am just so sick of everything at the moment, work, “friends”, just life in general is evil lately. I need a brain cleaning. Stress is definitely taking its toll on me. It’s not just my own stressors, but no matter what I do is good enough for anyone. I want to say just fuck it, but for some reason it bothers me when people make me feel like shit, and yet I let them sometimes which I shouldn’t, but sadly I guess I’m just human after all. For example: I got a ‘B’ in my Oceanography class this summer session, and all I hear is “you should have got an A”. I just wish I could be back in high school and only have to deal with petty crap. I don’t like being an adult. Although, all my life I have been “grown up” and kind of on purpose because of the cards I have been dealt. It’s just a pain in the ass. I think I am just going back to just living day to day. That seemed to be working for a little while. Right now I just feel like I want to cry but cant because I am too tired. I feel like I am letting everyone down in some way. I’m not a good girlfriend or sister or daughter or friend or coworker or person for that matter. Everyone should just ignore me forever because well lets face it most of you already do. And no I’m not friggen suicidal I am just upset frustrated and don’t know what else to do to make anyone happy anymore. Maybe I should start with myself and those who want to follow can, and if you don’t want to then sorry but its been fun while you were here.