It's Official, Hyunsik's Ridiculous

[leejaehwa7]

Title: It's Official, Hyunsik's Ridiculous
Author: leejaehwa7
Fandom: BTOB
Pairing: Ilhoon/Hyunsik
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ilhoon tries to give Hyunsik a chance to get to know him but he finds he has trouble coping with his own emotions, much less Hyunsik's. All the while, Hyunsik's being patient and when Ilhoon needs someone the most, he there's to hold him together.

A/N: I just couldn't resist writing a sequel because I can't handle these two being all mushy in my mind any longer. This was so much longer than I planned and so much more mushy /shudders/.


This is a sequel to ( Swoon-Inducing Smiles )

It’s Saturday and Ilhoon’s working his regular shift at the club. He’s finally rid of his black eye and the manager has given him the okay to get back on the floor again. It’s been almost a week and Ilhoon’s desperate to make up for his lost wages. He really couldn’t afford all of his missed days and he’s hoping to pick up extra hours during the upcoming week to make ends meet.

Hyunsik drops by while Ilhoon’s taking his first fifteen-minute break. He requests Ilsoon when he stops by the front booth and this time Ilhoon agrees to take him as a customer. The manager eyes him curiously as Ilhoon accompanies Hyunsik to his regular booth, ordering two cokes as they go. The look on his manager’s face suggests that he’ll be asking a few questions before the night’s over. Out of everything the manager hates the most, it’s drama and he takes numerous precautions to prevent anything from jeopardizing the amount of cash coming in from his club. But for the moment, Ilhoon only wants to think about spending time with Hyunsik because they really haven’t been able to talk to each other during the past week.

“Just so you know this doesn’t count as a date,” Hyunsik says, sliding into the booth with Ilhoon close behind.

Ilhoon grins. “I agree. I like to keep personal life separate from my work.”

Hyunsik sizes him up as he situates himself in the booth. Tonight Ilhoon’s wearing a burgundy, asymmetrical, spaghetti strap dress. It hangs lower in the back creating a tail, which swishes flirtatiously when Ilhoon walks. As Ilhoon gets comfortable, he crosses his legs towards Hyunsik, allowing the front of the dress to ride up a bit. Hyunsik can’t help glancing at his exposed legs appreciatively and Ilhoon makes no mention of his actions.

“May I ask what the intention of this visit is?” Ilhoon takes a sip of his coke as Hyunsik regains his bearings.

“I wanted to see you again,” Hyunsik says simply, eyes serious as he stares up at Ilhoon. “We haven’t had a chance to really talk in a while, what with you avoiding me and all.” He swirls his finger around the rim of his glass thoughtfully. “I was hoping we could have some alone time, away from school and friends.”

Ilhoon smiles, glossy, pouty pink lips shining in the lights of the club. He trails his fingers up the side of Hyunsik’s thigh, slow and tantalizing. “We’re not really alone here either.”

“Well,” Hyunsik gulps following Ilhoon’s fingers with his eyes. “We never had a chance to set up that date we talked about. You’re always so busy.”

Ilhoon licks his lips before saying, “It takes a lot of effort to be an honor student while working fulltime. I’ll have to let you know when a spot opens up in my schedule.”

Hyunsik frowns before turning to face Ilhoon, draping his arm over the back of the booth to make himself more comfortable. “Is it really necessary for you to work full time, especially at a place like this?”

With delicate fingers, Ilhoon tucks a lock of hair behind his right ear, sliding in the booth so that he’s not really facing Hyunsik anymore. It’s a protective measure of sorts. He tugs at the hem of his dress, covering his legs somewhat self-consciously. “There’s nothing wrong with this place. Besides, I need this job,” he says quietly. “More than someone like you can understand.”

“What’s ‘someone like me’ supposed to mean?” Hyunsik asks a bit offended.

“Please.” Ilhoon clutches his fingers together in his lap, not looking at his guest. “You come from a wealthy family. You’ve probably never worked a day in your life, never had to worry about money. I mean look at you,” Ilhoon stares up at him with judging eyes. “You and your designer clothes and overpriced cologne. You come here a lot, shelling out money that isn’t yours to bye my time. This place isn’t exactly cheap and definitely not something a normal high school student can afford on a simple allowance.”

“That’s…well…” Hyunsik stammers, sitting back in his seat like he’s been physically slapped in the face.

“What?” Ilhoon crosses his arms defensively. “You can’t deny it, can you? You’re such a hypocrite, telling me I shouldn’t be working here and yet it’s fine for you to come here to enjoy the services we offer. I need the money, what’s your excuse? Boredom? Too much money in your pocket? Oh wait, you come here to get away from everyone right, to pretend that you’re someone else just for a little while before you step back into that world.”

Hyunsik gapes, mouth opening and closing. Before he has a chance to speak, a waitress comes up to their booth leaning close to whisper something into Ilhoon’s ear. Hyunsik hears the words “special request” and “VIP guest” before Ilhoon nods, standing from the booth.

“I thought you wanted to get to know me, but I guess I was wrong. I don’t have time to fool around with someone who’s going to judge me without knowing me.” Hyunsik opens his mouth to speak but Ilhoon quiets him with a hand. “Sorry Hyunsik, I have to go,” he says walking away without looking back.

Hyunsik watches as Ilhoon follows the waitress to the far side of the room and up a set of stairs that Hyunsik had never noticed before. He wonders for a moment where they might lead, plagued with thoughts of Ilhoon entertaining other guests. He’s never really allowed himself to think about what Ilhoon or Ilsoon might be doing when he or she’s with the other guests of the club, if he gets as intimate with them as he does with Hyunsik. The thought of someone else touching Ilhoon, sliding a hand up his thigh, touching his smooth skin with their dirty fingers or even on the off chance their lips makes him so infuriatingly angry that he suddenly feels the need to punch something.

Before he can think it through, he leaves a generous tip with their watress knowing that part of it will end up in Ilhoon’s pocket, then leaves the club. Maybe Ilhoon will be calmer at school on Monday and they can have a rational conversation, one that doesn’t end with either of them feeling offended.

Monday comes and Ilhoon seems just as pissed as he was on Saturday. Well, he seems pissed anytime he sees Hyunsik because when he’s with his friends he seems completely fine. Because Sungjae and Peniel are such great friends, they immediately notice Ilhoon’s tense mood.

“Did something happen between you and lover boy?” Sungjae asks as they grab books from their lockers.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about or whom you may be referring to,” Ilhoon replies, slamming his locker shut.

“I’m sure you don’t,” Sungjae teases. “Was it a lover’s quarrel? Did he try to get in your pants on the first date? If he did, I can hack into the school’s database and give him a failing grade in chemistry so that he gets put on probation with the soccer team. I would say I’d beat him up for you but we both know how’d that end.”

Ilhoon gives a half-smile at Sungjae’s attempt to cheer him up. “It’s not like that and he didn’t try to get in my pants. I’ll keep your suggestion in mind for future reference though.”

“Just say the word,” Sungjae smirks readjusting his black, thick-rimmed glasses. Ilhoon knows his friends a computer whiz and he’s more than capable of hacking into the school’s system but Ilhoon would never be able to hurt Hyunsik that way, soccer means too much to the guy.

Peniel taps on Ilhoon’s shoulder, pointing to the far end of the hall. “Mr. Captain-of-the-Soccer-Team is watching you.”

Ilhoon refuses to look, refuses to let himself fall for that silly smile he knows Hyunsik will give him when their eyes meet. He doesn’t think he can resist that smile this early in the morning. “Ignore him,” Ilhoon says, hooking arms with Peniel to drag him in the opposite direction. “Let’s go to class already.”

“I’ll see you later,” Sungjae calls. His class is in the opposite direction. Unlucky for him, he has to pass right by Hyunsik on his way. Trying not to be noticed, Sungjae keeps his head down, eyes trained to the floor as he walks past. He barely turns the corner when an arm grabs his, shocking him to a halt as he looks up to find Hyunsik facing him with worried eyes.

“Umm…how’s Ilhoon today?” he asks, fumbling with his words.

Sungjae glances at the hand that’s still clutching his arm before looking back up at the soccer captain. Hyunsik lets go with a soft apology before Sungjae answers him. “He’s pissed, more so than usual. Did something happen between you two?”

Hyunsik sighs. “I think I offended him.”

Sungjae laughs, crossing his arms while looking down at Hyunsik. “Why does that not surprise me?” There’s a moment of awkward silence as Hyunsik’s face slowly turns dark. “What happened?” Sungjae asks against his better judgment.

Hyunsik steps to the side of the hall, placing a hand on Sungjae’s arm to get him to follow. “Apparently my family’s money repulses him.”

Sungjae takes a deep breath, shaking his head because of course Ilhoon would be sensitive about money. “Look, Ilhoon’s dealing with a lot right now, stuff I’m not at liberty to discuss with you. He’s really stressed out and you’re probably not helping the situation, so if you’re not being serious you should leave him alone.”

“Who says I’m not serious? I really care about him.”

“Really?” Sungjae asks skeptically.

Hyunsik steps closer placing a hand on each of his shoulders, eyes very serious as he says, “I like him, a lot. Much more than even I can understand.”

They stare at one another for a minute as Sungjae sizes him up. “I should be advising you to just give it up because Ilhoon doesn’t need anymore problems in his life, but for some reason unknown to me, I think he likes you too and as his best friend, I’m telling you not screw this up. He’s been standoffish lately and he won’t talk to me, but for whatever reason he might actually talk to you.”

“Does this mean you’re giving me permission to date Ilhoon?” Hyunsik asks, eyes creasing as he smiles much to bright for normal people to handle.

Sungjae looks away before placing his left hand on Hyunsik’s right shoulder. “Just so you know, if you hurt him, I’ll have you publicly registered as a pedophile and rapist. You’re reputation will go to hell and you will burn with it. Understand?”

He takes a step back, gulping as he attempts to pry Sungjae’s hand off of his shoulder. “Yeah, got it.”

Sungjae smiles, tugging at his backpack as the warning bell sounds for them to get to class. “Good. I guess I’ll see you at lunch then.” He walks off before Hyunsik has a chance to respond. A shiver runs through Hyunsik’s body as thoughts of what Sungjae’s capable of runs through his mind. He makes a mental note to never piss him off, ever.

Hyunsik shows up at Ilhoon’s lunch table after he and his two friends are already seated. There’s a free seat beside Ilhoon, which Hyunsik gratefully takes, giving a small greeting as he sits down. Ilhoon tries his best to ignore him. He also tries to ignore the dozens of pairs of eyes that keep staring at their table. He suddenly feels like a bug under a microscope and he hates it. He hates being the center of attention, hates feeling completely exposed. He wants to stand and leave but he knows that will only draw more attention so he stabs at the food on his plate, suffering through this misery.

“Are you free this afternoon?” Hyunsik asks, propping his head up with his arm as he leans forward to get a better view of Ilhoon’s face.

“I have work,” he replies, tongue clipped.

“What about before work?”

“Studying."

“No free time then?”

“None,” Ilhoon says with finality, dropping his chopsticks on his tray having completely lost his appetite.

Sungjae, who’s sitting across from Hyunsik, kicks him under the table to get his attention. He gestures towards Ilhoon by barely moving his head, eyes widening as he mouths,  “Do something.”

“Like what?” Hyunsik mouths back, discretely rubbing his shin.

Using his chopsticks, Sungjae snaps them together pointing them first at Hyunsik then towards Ilhoon. Ilhoon’s glaring at his tray too hard to notice and Hyunsik is too clueless to figure out what to do so Sungjae finally speaks up. “Why don’t you two study together?”

“What?” Ilhoon jerks his head up staring at his friend like he’s deranged.

“Well, Peniel and I had a change of plans.” Peniel tries to say something to object because he knows of no such change in their plans, but Sungjae stomps on his foot much too obviously for it to go unseen. “We…” he says drawing the word out as he grinds his heel into Peniel’s toes. “…have to go shopping for our biology project, so we can’t study with you today, which means Hyunsik can keep you company.”

Ilhoon stares daggers at him, glancing at Peniel for help. Peniel shrugs, stealing a chicken strip from Ilhoon’s forgotten tray. He doesn’t like getting in the middle things, so he’s staying out of it. In a huff of annoyance, Ilhoon stands leaving his tray for Peniel to devour, giving a very serious I-hate-you-look to Sungjae before he walks away.

“Follow him.” Sungjae orders Hyunsik away from the table. “Go.”

They make it out of the cafeteria before Hyunsik catches up with Ilhoon. He reaches out to grab Ilhoon’s arm only to be shaken off. “Why do you keep trying so hard?” Ilhoon practically scoffs.

“Why do you keep running away?” Hyunsik counters.

Ilhoon balks, mouth moving as he tries to say something before deciding to turn around and just walk away.

“See,” Hyunsik says following after him. “You’re running away again.”

“And you’re following me again.” Ilhoon picks up the pace, turning right onto another hall.

“If you would stop running away, I wouldn’t have to follow you.” Hyunsik grabs onto Ilhoon’s shoulder firmly, pulling him back to push him against the wall, blocking him there with his arms, a hand planted on either side of Ilhoon’s head. “Please,” Hyunsik says, every bit of pent up frustrated emotions seeping out with the word. “I’m sorry for criticizing your job. I’m sorry for being born into a wealthy family. I’m sorry for being inconsiderate about your feelings, but I can’t help it.”

Ilhoon stares, back planted against the wall next to a water fountain. “Is that all you have to say?” he asks emotionlessly. “You can’t help it?”

Hyunsik drops his head sighing dejectedly. He looks back up, eyes peering at Ilhoon with a resolved intensity, voice low as he says, “I really like you. I get jealous when I think about your job and how you have to entertain others. I’m human. I make mistakes and I keep trying to do the right thing with you but every time I take two steps forward you keep pushing me one step back and it’s beyond frustrating.” He slides his right hand off the wall, gently cupping Ilhoon’s cheek as he leans closer. “Please, stop putting up walls to block me out and just give us a chance to get to know each other. I know you like spending time with me and I know you want your work and your personal life to be separate so if it makes you happy, I’ll stop coming to the club. I’ll stop spending my money there. I’ll spend time with you on your terms.” He leans even closer, closing the distance between them as he rests his forehead against Ilhoon’s, thumb slowly gliding across his cheek. “So please, please stop running away from me.”

“Four o’clock,” Ilhoon whispers, throat dry. “Library, reference room.”

“Four?” Hyunsik grins.

Ilhoon squirms, averting his eyes nervously. Hyunsik’s much too close for comfort and Ilhoon isn’t in his protective shell that is known as Ilsoon, so he doesn’t know how to act. He can’t flip his hair and smile seductively, flashing an appropriate amount of skin to distract Hyunsik and give himself the upper hand because Ilhoon likes being in control and this moment is straying much too far out of his control. He likes knowing where he stands, making his own rules, and being the one in charge of the strings not the puppet. He feels less vulnerable that way because he can always stop it, put an end to the relationship when he chooses. He doesn’t like leaving the confines of his comfort zone with its defined boundary lines, the ones that separate work and school and his home life. He’s never really had a relationship, so he’s not sure how to fit one into his very compartmentalized life. He’s terrified at the idea of creating a fourth category, one with a completely different label that he has to somehow fit into the diagram that is his life. He knows how to work the other three categories, understands how they fit together, and knows what goes where and how to handle any inconsistencies. This new category, however, is completely foreign and unpredictable and Ilhoon’s already feeling his life’s stability slipping away.

“So, I’ll see you later then?”

“Yeah.” Ilhoon blushes. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he brings his hands up pushing Hyunsik back to give himself some space to breathe and think clearly. His heart’s racing, his palms are much too sweaty, and he feels like running but he can hardly think enough to breathe regularly much less put one foot in front of the other to make a getaway.

“You’re not going to stand me up, are you?” Hyunsik’s smiling again, eyes turning into crescents and Ilhoon feels winded at the sight of it.

“I’ll be there.” Ilhoon’s voice is quiet, shy even.

“Promise?” Hyunsik’s leaning in again and Ilhoon’s backed so far into the wall he can’t move.

“Promise.” Ilhoon smiles softly, mustering up enough courage to look him in the eye.

“Can’t wait.” Hyunsik grins, swiftly pressing a kiss to the corner of Ilhoon’s mouth, not really on his lips, but not exactly on his cheek either. In a flash, he’s out of Ilhoon’s personal space and making his way down the hall. He turns, giving a quick wave that Ilhoon’s too dazed to return before ducking down another hall. When he’s finally out of sight, Ilhoon’s legs give out and he slides down the wall to the floor, head level with the fountain beside him. For a moment he wonders if it’s possible for him drown himself in it because he doesn’t think he can handle spending an extended period of time with Hyunsik while they’re outside of the club, outside of his comfort zone.

When Hyunsik gets to the library, Ilhoon’s already there hunched over an open ancient history text book, scribbling notes into one of his composition books. He barely glances up when Hyunsik enters the reference room. He’s forcing himself to focus on his studies, using it as a crutch to have as little conversation and interaction with Hyunsik as possible. It’s not that he doesn’t want to converse and interact with Hyunsik, it’s just that he’s not mentally prepared for going further than they already are. That kiss from early still lingers on his skin and he would really like to do it again because he misses kissing Hyunsik, misses how easy it was for them when Hyunsik didn’t know he was Ilhoon, but they can’t go back to that.

Hyunsik’s trying though. He’s being patient, consistently pushing and pulling but never going too far as he waits for Ilhoon to figure things out. He wants to get to know Ilhoon, has proven time and time again that he actually cares and that this isn’t some ploy to get into Ilhoon’s pants. That’s what scares Ilhoon though, the fact that maybe Hyunsik really does like him and that maybe Hyunsik’s a great guy that he could possibly like very much if he gives him the chance. He did agree to go out with him, but that was in a moment of blind affection after Hyunsik had been very chivalrous and Ilhoon was too dazed by his deed to think straight. Now that he is thinking straight, he doesn’t think he can go through with it.

They don’t say much in the first thirty minutes of their studying, quietly tucked away in a secluded nook in their school’s library surrounded by shelves of books that easily hide them from curious eyes. They briefly greeted one another before Hyunsik sat down to work and after that it had been nothing but book pages turning and pens on paper. Surprisingly, it was Ilhoon who broke the silence, by asking, “What are you studying?”

Hyunsik looks up surprised, pen caught between his teeth as he registers Ilhoon’s question. He glances back at his book, picking up the side to show the cover to Ilhoon. “AP Chemistry.”

Ilhoon fiddles with the pen in his hand, twirling it around his fingers. “Looks intimidating.”

“It’s not that hard. Now AP Calculus is a different story.”

“You’re taking two AP classes?”

He smiles pointing towards his pile of books. “Four actually. My parents also wanted me in AP Literature and AP History. They think it’ll keep me well rounded for when I apply to university.”

Ilhoon taps his pen on his notebook. “Along with soccer, right?”

Hyunsik laughs sarcastically. “My parents hate that I play soccer.”

“Really? But you like the best soccer player this school’s ever seen,” Ilhoon blurts out. “You could probably get a sports scholarship easily.”

“Probably,” he says sadly. “My parents want me to be a doctor though. They want me to own my own practice someday. They think soccer gets in the way of my studies.”

“But you have good grades right. Aren’t you in the top of your class?”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m not first.” Hyunsik leans forward, resting his arms on the table. “I have an A- in AP Calculus. An A- to my parents is like a C and that is unacceptable. If I don’t bring my grade up, they’re threatening my position on the team.”

“What? That’s ludicrous. You’re the captain. You have a responsibility to the team. They can’t just expect you to give that up.” The grip Ilhoon has on his pen tightens as his face scrunches up at how crazy Hyunsik’s parents seem.

“I don’t plan on giving it up,” Hyunsik says calmly. He laughs, reaching over to touch Ilhoon’s hand to pull his pen away, loosening his death grip on it. “You know, for someone who acts like he doesn’t care, you get riled up easily.”

Looking away, Ilhoon drops his hands to his lap, rubbing his palms against his legs nervously. “It’s not that I don’t care.” His voice drops. “It’s just…I’m afraid of caring too much.”

“Caring too much?” He’s surprised.

Ilhoon quietly nods, staring down at the table.

Hyunsik’s caught off guard, mind too blank to say anything at the realization that Ilhoon may like him more than he lets on. He smiles to himself, lips curling at the corners but not enough to reach his eyes; it’s his secret smile, the one he uses when he’s figured something out, something that makes him really happy. It’s the smile he gives himself, not the one he shows to everyone else.

Ilhoon glances up at him, wondering why he’s being so quiet. “You look creepy.”

“What about you?” Hyunsik changes topic because Ilhoon doesn’t seem like he wants to elaborate on the topic of his caring too much. “What do you want to do after you get out of school?”

“I’d like to study business, but right now I’m just hoping for a full academic scholarship. If I don’t get one, I’m can’t continue with school.” Ilhoon shrugs. “If that happens, I’ll just continue working.”

“But what about all the money you’re getting from work? You can’t use that for school?” From Ilhoon’s previous reactions in regards to his work and money, Hyunsik knows that it’s a sensitive subject, but he can’t help being curious.

There’s a moment of silence as Ilhoon mentally debates whether to answer, if he should just brush it off like he’s done everything else with Hyunsik. He doesn’t like talking about his home life, doesn’t like the sad looks people give him. He doesn’t want false sympathy when he’s working so hard to keep his family afloat. Sungjae and Peniel don’t even know the extent of the situation. He looks over at Hyunsik, who’s waiting patiently for him to say something, eye’s peering at him curiously.

“It’s okay,” Hyunsik says, interrupting Ilhoon’s thoughts. “If you don’t want to talk about, you don’t have to.”

Something inside him clicks and Ilhoon suddenly really wants to talk to him, to explain things he’s kept to himself for quite some time, to get it off his chest. “Everything I make goes to my parents.”

“Everything?”

“My parents can’t work, so everything I make pays the bills.”

“Why can’t they work?” Hyunsik asks hesitantly, unsure of his boundaries in this conversation.

“My mom’s too sick and my dad’s too drunk. We’d have some money leftover if my dad didn’t steal some every month to pay for his alcohol.” He presses his hand against the table in frustration, splaying his fingers out before balling them into a fist. “I’d kick his sorry ass out but my mom says he’s sick, that he’s our responsibility and we need to take care of him. He’s a bum, a leech, a pathetic excuse for a man and it’s so frustrating to go home every day to find him passed out on the couch, not knowing whether or not he’s finally pushed himself too far while my mom’s suffering in bed because we can’t afford to keep her in a hospital.”

“He couldn’t have always been so bad.”

“He was fine when I was young, then he lost his job and never bounced back. His downward spiral put a lot of pressure on my mom. She got sick and never really recovered. She pushed herself until she couldn’t get out of bed. My older sister helped while she was at home, but she got accepted to a school down south and left without looking back. She sent money at first, but now we hardly hear from her.” Ilhoon pauses in thought, sighing forlornly as he traces his fingers along the edge of his book. “Sometimes I wish I could have the guts to just leave home and not think twice about it. I could easily take care of myself. I make enough money to do it.”

Hyunsik slides his hand across the table, cupping Ilhoon’s protectively. “You’re not that type of person though.”

“How would you know?” He doesn’t sound scornful or malicious, simply curious because really, how would Hyunsik know what type of person he is.

“Because you’re the type of person who cares too much.”

“Are you saying that to tease me?” Ilhoon tries to yank his hand away but Hyunsik tightens his grip.

“No, that’s not what I meant. It’s the way you talk about your dad. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be saying those things and there’s no way you would leave your mom, you love her too much. She’s probably extremely proud of you, probably thinks you’re an amazing son.” Hyunsik turns in his chair to angle himself closer to Ilhoon.

“You’re right.” Using his free hand, Ilhoon runs his fingers through his hair before resting his arm on the table and propping up his head so that he’s looking at Hyunsik. “I love my mom so much I’d do anything for her. Trust me, I never thought I’d be working at a,” he lowers his voice, “cross-dressing club as a hostess. I’m even doing it illegally.” He shakes his head, burying his face in his hand, pressing enough to hinder his speech as he says, “I can’t handle seeing her in pain. I know I can’t keep her in a comfortable hospital, but the least I can do is get her the medicine she needs. The thought of her without them is enough to keep me putting on those miniskirts and wigs. She’s my biggest priority right now. Anything that distracts me from taking care of her isn’t something I want in my life.”

Hyunsik lets the information Ilhoon has just divulged sink in. He understands why Ilhoon can seem so standoffish sometimes, why he can be so utterly focused in certain aspects of his life while disregarding everything else. He does it to protect the things he cares about the most. He does it to protect himself because he probably feels like no one else is going to do it for him. He’s so independent and self-sufficient, probably has been for a while and doesn’t know how to accept help from others or allow others in for fear of losing everything he’s built up. Even though Hyunsik doesn’t really know from personal experience and has no idea exactly what Ilhoon feels, he can sympathize with him. He can imagine how difficult it is for him to deal with school and work while worrying about his mom and dad.

“Am I considered a distraction?” Hyunsik asks, moving his hand to curl his fingers through Ilhoon’s.

Ilhoon’s eyes drift to stare at their hands, flexing his fingers smiling at the motion. “Sometimes.”

“Is that why you’re so afraid?”

“I just don’t have time for variables in my life right now and you’re an extremely unpredictable variable.”

With a soft tug, Hyunsik pulls Ilhoon’s hand up clasping it with both hands. “I like you Ilhoon and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize what you have going in your life right now. I just think you should give me a chance.”

“Why?”

“Because I think you should do something for yourself, something that will make you happy?”

“And you think you can make me happy?” There’s a teasing hint in his voice and Hyunsik bites at it.

“I know I can.”

“Well someone’s confident.”

Hyunsik stands abruptly, leaning across the corner of the table, curling a hand behind Ilhoon’s neck to pull him close. He hears Ilhoon’s breath catch, sees his eyes widen, feels his throat contract as he gulps in anticipation. “Can I kiss you?” Ilhoon’s eyes drift closed silently giving him permission. Hyunsik doesn’t hesitate to close the gap between their lips, reveling in the soft pull of Ilhoon’s lips as he kisses back. Ilhoon lets out a sigh, lips curving into a smile as they separate. “I missed that,” Hyunsik says, planting another brief kiss before sitting back in his seat.

Gnawing on his lip, Ilhoon hurriedly flips a few pages in his book. “We should get back to studying. You have to work on pulling up that grade of yours.”

Hyunsik laughs, releasing the other’s hand as he picks up his pen to get back to his homework. He can’t shake the broad smile creeping across his face.

A few minutes after they’ve settled back into their work, Ilhoon murmurs, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Hyunsik inquires without looking up from his book.

Ilhoon keeps his eyes trained on his own work. “For not saying ‘I’m sorry’ to me. I hate when people apologize after finding out about my family. It doesn’t change anything and I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. So thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he pauses. “And thank you, for giving me another chance.”

Ilhoon doesn’t say anything, but Hyunsik notices the way he smiles to himself during the rest of their study session. They don’t talk much as they struggle through their homework.

As they pack to leave, Ilhoon catches Hyunsik’s arm. “I don’t mind if you come visit me at the club. I don’t have much free time for myself and I like being with you, so I don’t mind. I just don’t want you wasting a lot of money at the club.”

Hyunsik drops his backpack in the chair he previously occupied, stepping forward to close the gap between him and Ilhoon. Caressing Ilhoon’s cheek with the tips of his fingers, he says, “It’s not a waste of money if I get to spend time with you.”

Ilhoon smacks his hand away playfully, jerking up his backpack so that it sits comfortably on his shoulders as he steps around Hyunsik. “You’re so greasy you’re going to give me high cholesterol.”

“I can think of a few ways to help you keep it low,” he lifts an eyebrow before winking suggestively.

“Forget it. I’ve changed my mind,” he says, exiting the reference room area. “Don’t come visit me. I’d rather not be seen in public with someone like you.”

“You know you like it,” Hyunsik jokes a little too loudly for the library atmosphere.

Ilhoon glares back at him before making his way through the stacks and out of the library. He only gives a simple wave when Hyunsik calls out, “Goodbye.”

Hyunsik’s already making plans to visit Ilhoon at least once this week. As kind as Ilhoon’s being about letting him visit the club, Hyunsik doesn’t want to overstep his boundaries. It’s apparent that Ilhoon wants to take this whole relationship thing slow and Hyunsik doesn’t mind moving at Ilhoon’s pace. He’s a patient guy and he thinks Ilhoon’s worth the wait.

( Part Two )