the love i feel is what to you?
damn it......what now?its like.......snap........
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I feel like snapping!!seriously!!!
what is this?really?first he's being all friendly and all...he even cared so much and all......he was worried when i told him that i had to eat my pills...what the?he's giving me mixed signals!!seriously..everything was fine until he started to SLOWLY IGNORE ME..how sad can that be?seriously?
we were getting along just fine then one day he was almost mad at me because one of his "girl" friend(normal) wanted to add me at msn.
we were getting along fine~he added me to a convo with his friends in them~and we started chatting...it was fun...i was actually touched tht he wanted me to meet his friends(stupidly i dont know why) anyway....there were four of us...me,his friend,and his other "girl" friend" and him....we chatted and played jokes and everything....
and then the guy friend had to go...and then suddenly this girl friend of his said "hey...whats your email?let me add you~"
and i told her my email.
and then this happened.
lets use code names.
HIM is the guy i like
JEE-D is me
GIRL is the "girl friend"
anyway...the convo went like this
GIRL: hey~whats your email?i wanna add you?
JEE-D :*i gave her my email*
HIM:woi!woi!whats this?
GIRL:what?i just wanted her email.
JEE-D:yeah za...whats wrong?
HIM:why are you giving your email to her?
JEE-D:i.....cant? :S
GIRL:yeahh...whats wrong?you're gonna get jelous?you cant get jelous,i'm a girl for god's sake
JEE-D:whaa......?
and then suddenly HIM texted me in a different chat box
HIM:you wanna add her?
JEE-D:i wont if you dont want me too
HIM:what ever
JEE-D:whats wrong?
HIM:nothing.its jusr nothing.
JEE-D:you know za,you could always tell me
HIM:what?tell you what?
JEE-D:tell me why you wont let me add her
HIM:you know its kinda annoying if you keep on forcing me.
JEE-D:owhhh...sorry..didnt mean to =(
HIM:its okeyy
and then we returned to the next box
GIRL:what took you two long?
JEE-D:was in the toilet
HIM:went to the kitchen
GIRL:owhhh...anyway..jee,you should add me instead *she gave me her email*
JEE-D : eheheh...
GIRL:i have to go now people..bye~~dont forget to add me jee~hehehehe..XD chat with you soon
JEE-D:bye~~
HIM:bye~
and we went to the next chat box
JEE-D:what am i gonna do?should i add her?
HIM:what ever
JEE-D:za....you sound mad..
HIM:sheesh!i told you i'm not...alright?!
JEE-D:owhh...alright..
HIM:i'm going too...bye jee
JEE-D : bye za~
and thats how the convo ended...what the hell?does that sound like he's mad or something?
damn it....we've mc-ed each other less now,and msg each other less now cause he said he was always bz..
he fuckingly chose tv over me~
the hell man?!sheesh!its more annoying.
he said he was like gonna be my zoro...he said that if i was bored,he'll be there for me...he said if i was lonely,he'll be there for me..he said if i was sad,he'll listen to my problems,he said that if i was to fall form the mountain,he'll be there to rescue me..he said he'll always be there for me....stupid words?!sweet talker?!
what the hell?i aint a toy you know?i gave him his free time...i dont bug him 24/7...if he said he was bz,i didnt bother him....if he said he was tired,i'll ask him to sleep...i dont bug him 24/7 (i swear i dont) but he was starting to avoid me...i can see it....seriously....what the fuck is this?
why must the person i'm in love with is you?if you say readers say "pfffttt~what the?its only him~dont worry...there's a lot of other guys out there,its not only him" i know those words are meant for making me happy~but it still hurts inside...letting go someone you love is like.....hell?i dont know how to explain....its hard...you're hurt when you saw them laughing with other people but now with you...it hurt....i think i need to shoot my self for me to accept this fact that i have to let go of the person i love....
fuck~i'm crying~i'm not suppose to....=( stupid sweet talker......i'll try one last time to make him love me but with out force that is,if i dont succeed,i'll just have to let go....he's already ignoring me~za~~what are you trying to do?
forgive me that i sound cheesy in here but i cant handle it..its my first time feeling like this~
people say love is the most wonderfull thing on earth...i didnt know it would be this painfull~