(no subject)
Hello. I know it's probably extremely repetative, but i was looking through my old emails and i found this one that was really funny and i thought i would share it. >)
Things I Hate About People
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk up to the TV. To change the channel
3. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Fucking right I do, what good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "Its always the last place you look" Of course it is, why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?" No asshole, I paid to come to the cinema to stare at the floor.
6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?"...Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is "new and improved". Which is it? If it’s new, there has never been anything before it. If it’s improved, then there must've been something before it.
8. When people say "Life is too short".... What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does. What can you do that’s longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus came yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here dickhead?
10. People who say things like "My eyes aren't what they used to be" Well what the hell were they? Ears?
11. When you’re sitting there eating something and someone asks "Is it good?” No, its fucking revolting, I always eat stuff I hate!
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks! That’s an image I really didn't need.
13. When your involved in a serious road accident and someone asks "Are you ok?" Yes, Fine! I'll just pick up my limbs and I'll be off.
14. McDonalds staff who pretend they have no idea what you’re talking about unless you insert the "Mc" before the item you are ordering.... It has to be a McChicken; just a chicken burger gets a blank look. Well I'll have a McStraw to jam in your McEyes you McFuckin McBastard!
Things I Hate About People
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk up to the TV. To change the channel
3. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Fucking right I do, what good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "Its always the last place you look" Of course it is, why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?" No asshole, I paid to come to the cinema to stare at the floor.
6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?"...Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is "new and improved". Which is it? If it’s new, there has never been anything before it. If it’s improved, then there must've been something before it.
8. When people say "Life is too short".... What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does. What can you do that’s longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus came yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here dickhead?
10. People who say things like "My eyes aren't what they used to be" Well what the hell were they? Ears?
11. When you’re sitting there eating something and someone asks "Is it good?” No, its fucking revolting, I always eat stuff I hate!
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks! That’s an image I really didn't need.
13. When your involved in a serious road accident and someone asks "Are you ok?" Yes, Fine! I'll just pick up my limbs and I'll be off.
14. McDonalds staff who pretend they have no idea what you’re talking about unless you insert the "Mc" before the item you are ordering.... It has to be a McChicken; just a chicken burger gets a blank look. Well I'll have a McStraw to jam in your McEyes you McFuckin McBastard!