your beautiful
I agree with krystal
well how am i going to try to make mike into something he's not. i get mad because the things that I want him to do he doesn't because that's not who he is. Im not trying to change him at all but I guess there's certain expectations that I see in my mind that doesn't work out in reality. Why do I want him to keep being something he's not. what are you supposed to do about that!!!!! no seriously. Im so selfish. Maybe it's probably not meant to be. I really don't want a boyfriend anymore but then I'll have no friends at skyake anymore or something. I feel highschoolish. I think Im single. But i don't want anyone! Im sick of expecting the perfect guy and buying the perfect things and laughing at the perfect time. And if it's not perfect then it's not meant to be!!!!!!!! So maybe it's not. keep telling that to yourself. I truly, will never, be happy. I won't and if the next person comes along I'll disect all their faults and blah blah. But nothings been this bad ever. Ive handled pretty bad relationships with stupid people but this one is so hard to change. why cant all my thoughts equal out to one person. why cant i just know who im supposed to be with for the rest of my life forever. its just not working. i dont like his brain anymore. its gone. i feel gone. but in a way right now...i feel so RELIEVED! i feel free. i feel good. without you! is the devil living in me?! i dont know. what is my problem. is this normal behavior? i just want to marry krystal thats all. i dont need anyone. if krystal was right next to me id be happy. and now shes leaving and im crying. i cant go on without physical relations. im gonna have to go with her.
fuck all the boys
i just want my best friend forever.
well how am i going to try to make mike into something he's not. i get mad because the things that I want him to do he doesn't because that's not who he is. Im not trying to change him at all but I guess there's certain expectations that I see in my mind that doesn't work out in reality. Why do I want him to keep being something he's not. what are you supposed to do about that!!!!! no seriously. Im so selfish. Maybe it's probably not meant to be. I really don't want a boyfriend anymore but then I'll have no friends at skyake anymore or something. I feel highschoolish. I think Im single. But i don't want anyone! Im sick of expecting the perfect guy and buying the perfect things and laughing at the perfect time. And if it's not perfect then it's not meant to be!!!!!!!! So maybe it's not. keep telling that to yourself. I truly, will never, be happy. I won't and if the next person comes along I'll disect all their faults and blah blah. But nothings been this bad ever. Ive handled pretty bad relationships with stupid people but this one is so hard to change. why cant all my thoughts equal out to one person. why cant i just know who im supposed to be with for the rest of my life forever. its just not working. i dont like his brain anymore. its gone. i feel gone. but in a way right now...i feel so RELIEVED! i feel free. i feel good. without you! is the devil living in me?! i dont know. what is my problem. is this normal behavior? i just want to marry krystal thats all. i dont need anyone. if krystal was right next to me id be happy. and now shes leaving and im crying. i cant go on without physical relations. im gonna have to go with her.
fuck all the boys
i just want my best friend forever.