Chaos
The drama returns. Not that it ever really subsided but at least I was able to ignore it for a few months. I wish that one single thing in my life was stable right now. I had my wisdom teeth taken out 2 days ago so that's a blast. Sheila says that at least my health is stable which is absolutely true and more than some people may have so I suppose I should not complain. But overall my life is in a tailspin. No job, no money, no idea where I"ll be living in 3 weeks. It's killing me right now. I have to go to a big athletic training convention all of next week. I'm not looking forward to that at all. Primarily because it's supposed to be a great time where you meet up with all of your friends that you never get to see, drink all night long and make it to a few meetings during the day if you can. But instead my days will be filled with the job fair, stressed out, wearing a stupid suit "just in case" someone decides to grace me with an interview. It all just really blows.
I think it's time for my infamous wish list of worries:
* I wish that I had enough money to know that if I don't get a job first thing come July I"d be okay.
* I wish that Daniel and I had been together longer so that so many "risks" weren't involved with us right now.
* I wish that Daniel and I were more stable on a daily basis.
* I wish that every move I make didn't seem to force another part of my life to collapse. Why so much give and take? Why can't more than one thing be a good thing right now?
* I wish that my face wasn't so swollen that I looked like a pumpkin head.
* I wish I could eat solid foods!
* I wish I could find the motivation to get back into exercising so that at least I felt good about myself in one aspect of my life.
* I wish that I would get a job right here, right now.
* I wish that god would just give me one little break. I don't mean to sound like i'm on a pitty-pot or "woe is me" or anything like that. I understand that I've been blessed with many things in my life, but right now I"m just looking for something to point me in one direction or another. A break for me...for us..please!
That's the extent of my bitching for the timebeing. I can't keep pouting. It's just so hard because I"m stressed about all of this crap so it leads to more problems with Daniel and I which is the last thing I want right now because what I want more than anything is to be with him, touching him, being with him all the time because that's the only time I can forget that my life is a whirlwind.
Waiting for a momentary glimpse of hope.......