Comments | leeayre: Those Forsaken Ch. 7

leeayre

Those Forsaken Ch. 7

Sep 05, 2009 10:00

Title: Those Forsaken
Rating: M
Genre: Angst/Horror
Characters: Subaru, Seishirou, Kamui, Fuuma
Summary: It all started when Subaru accidentally brought one home. Now Kamui and Subaru find themselves running for their lives, wrapped up in a fight neither could have foreseen.
Warnings: Vampirism, blood, physical abuse, nondescript nudity, etc.
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fic: those forsaken

Comments 2

rose_erato September 8 2009, 06:08:17 UTC

What a great chapter and I think you did very well! First off, I loved the flashback. It was great to see more of their past and I hope to see even more. Also, I think you hit on Subaru's personality very well and he really does remind me of TB Subaru :)

leeayre September 12 2009, 04:21:23 UTC

Unfortunately, in this fic, the past holds vital information, and I'm acutely aware that usually flashbacks are a 'bad' idea, because they interrupt the flow of the story in the present. While they do have good points, they're too often used to give information that could have been summed up in three lines, forcing readers to jump around in time and reorient themselves (twice, once during the initial jump to the flashback and then again when the flashback ends), and it's all a lot of hassle for the readers. Whenever possible, I'll probably summarize the important past information instead. ^_ ( ... )