Nicky Nicky Nicky
I don’t think that it will ever get any easier to talk to Nicky on the phone. Every time we talk I just get really sad. It’s so hard to talk to him about our lives knowing that he is not a part of mine and I am really not a part of his even though I wish that he were. I wish that I didn’t get that sad about it ever time I talked to him. Even if it is a good conversation between the two of us and nothing sad was talked about I still end up crying when we hang up the phone. I have this picture of him and I and on the back of it he calls me his best friend his soul mate and the love of his life, I keep it hung up on my bulletin bored somewhat of a reminder of how good it was and how bad I fucked up.
I am really happy for him he just bought a house and he loves it and is so excited because his dad and him are going to do a lot to the house. His dad and him don’t really have that good of relationship but lately Stan has been trying really hard to be a part of his life and Stan is trying really hard to help Nicky out. I am really jealous of nick for that because I wish that my dad would start to put some effort in my life, but this is something that Nicky really needs in his life.
I just want to cry I hate it. It’s so hard. Why can’t it be easy? Why cant I just be his friend with out have such a emotional reaction to it?
I am really happy for him he just bought a house and he loves it and is so excited because his dad and him are going to do a lot to the house. His dad and him don’t really have that good of relationship but lately Stan has been trying really hard to be a part of his life and Stan is trying really hard to help Nicky out. I am really jealous of nick for that because I wish that my dad would start to put some effort in my life, but this is something that Nicky really needs in his life.
I just want to cry I hate it. It’s so hard. Why can’t it be easy? Why cant I just be his friend with out have such a emotional reaction to it?