It has gone long enough without someone saying something

[lee09]

Drama… now that is something I am officially sick and tired of. I can not deal with any of this anymore and choose to distance myself from it. I know I am not the perfect person who never talked about anyone, I know I am guilty of it. But, now I have realized how stupid it is and how people can take it way too far. I mean, if you do not like someone why spend all your time and effort being mean to them, talking about them, etc. Why Bother? If you do not like them, why not just stop talking to them and not bother with them. People are starting just to get mean and ugly. We are going to college in about six months and turning eighteen if we are not already; isn’t about time that we all grow up? We are acting like we are back in elementary school with all this petty name calling and such. It is just a shame that we can not just all get along anymore, and I know this from a personal stand point. I am sick of just going with the crowd, I feel so mean and ugly when I do that. I mean I’ve did things I would have never have done if I was not in the crowd. I was a mean person joining others talking about people behind their backs. I often compromised myself and feelings for the sake of the group. I always did what other people wanted to do on the weekends just to keep “some” happy. I mean, whatever happened to my happiness or what Lisa wanted to do. Somewhere in the course of the year Lisa got lost. I did not know who I was for awhile, I was just who everyone wanted me to be. Only a few people know who the true Lisa is and everything she went through and had to overcome during life. But to the majority I am just this nice girl who helps everyone and anyone whenever they need it, and gives off the illusion of living this perfect life. For awhile I was just a girl who everyone just walked all over and used whenever they needed help. I am sick of being that person, that is not who I am. Do not get me wrong, I love helping people; but I do not enjoy getting taken advantage of. I also regret letting that person go who I cared about…. Once again I compromised myself to make everyone else happy, despite when others told me just to screw them and be happy. I am so sick of that one person who has the capability of manipulating the whole group into wanting to do whatever they want to do. Enough is enough, since when did everything become about you and making sure that you are happy? Well I am not giving into that game anymore, I am not going to continue to compromise myself for you or anyone. I mean, I seriously came home in tears that night and for what? Nothing absolutely nothing. I do not even know why I bothered to waste my tears. I mean I apologized if I may have over reacted and gave you an explanation, but did you ever stop to think you were sorry or you did anything wrong? No, no one does anymore. It seems as though no one takes responsibility for their actions anymore. If you all are so big and bad why don’t you ever own up to anything you do? That really hurt me, that you couldn’t of just said the words I am sorry. It made me feel like you could not care about our relationship, I mean we were both in the wrong here, why am I the only one apologizing? And why in this group if one thing happens between people everyone else has to know. Most of the time they only have this one sided bias story that causes everyone to be divided. I also do not understand if we are all such good friends then why do we all talk about one another. I can honestly say that I have witnessed everyone talk about everyone else. Now is that true friendship? I do not understand any of this anymore. Is calling people “fuck faces” or “cock suckers” truly necessary? Think about it… I just wish all of this would go away and it is sad for me to say that I can not wait till we graduate for a reason such as this. Drama like this is starting to turn people away from one another; those who want to be part of it, and those who realize there is just no point to it anymore. In every group there will be the ring master and all its followers, but if that is the only way to be friends with you people, then I would rather not take part in it. We all have to stop being so selfish, mean, manipulative and begin to admit when you’re wrong and say sorry, consider other peoples’ feelings, and stop the bickering like we did in like elementary school. We only have this little time left together. Why not try to make it worth it instead of killing the experience? Think about it….

I am sorry if anyone takes offense to this, but I think it is just something that everyone needs to hear…. Whether you agree with it or not.